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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think this friendship needs to end?

17 replies

CactiHug · 26/05/2022 20:16

I’m feeling a bit emotional at the moment so just wanted to check I’m not over reacting with this.

Friend and I had arranged to go out tonight, just to get something to eat nothing really special. I’ve done a lot for her recently, gone out of my way to help her with some things she’s had going on and generally always make an effort for her.

I got offered a job this week - huge deal for me because I’ve had some health issues and have been out of work for a few years. I thought tonight could have been a small celebration for that, although it was booked before I got the job offer so wasn’t supposed to be for that.

my friend text me this afternoon to say she was going a nap and text her before I started getting ready in case she didn’t wake up in time. We were supposed to meet at half 7, I text her at half 6 and have heard nothing back.

AIBU to feel really upset? I was looking forward to celebrating with her Even though tonight wasn’t about me getting a job.

OP posts:

Judithand2 · 26/05/2022 20:17

Ring her

PurpleDaisies · 26/05/2022 20:18

This seems like a huge overreaction unless there’s back story

ThreeLittleDots · 26/05/2022 20:21

You're overreacting. She's fallen asleep. At the moment there's nothing more to read into it apart from the fact that she's an idiot for not setting an alarm.

thefirstmrsrochester · 26/05/2022 20:21

Why is it your responsibility to text her in case she hadn’t woken up from her nap? Has she never set an alarm on her mobile before? Unless she has become unwell since your last text interchange, I’d be seriously pissed off too.

IncompleteSenten · 26/05/2022 20:21

Not unreasonable at all. It sounds like she was setting the scene to 'oversleep'.

Nosetickle · 26/05/2022 20:25

That’s strange, if it were my friend I’d be ringing her, have you tried this? Has she got form for letting you down at the last minute like this? If so then yes it’s probably time to let the friendship go and such to arranging things with reliable friends. Congratulations on the job, can you do something nice celebrate anyway, get yourself a few celebratory treats?

Original poster

CactiHug · 26/05/2022 20:28

It might be an over reaction.

I have felt that if she cared about seeing me though she could have set an alarm to wake up in time. Instead of going to sleep and not seeming bothered if she was up or not.

I always make an effort for her if she needs anything, I was hoping that the effort might be reciprocated for me.

OP posts:

PurpleDaisies · 26/05/2022 20:28

Is this the first time anything like this has happened?

Whowhatwherewhenwhynow · 26/05/2022 20:32

If this is a one off then you’re over reacting.
if this type of thing is a regular occurrence then I’d feel pissed off too.

MagicTurtle · 26/05/2022 20:34

I agree with other posters - unless there is a back story you are overreacting. She'll probably be gutted when she wakes up and realises!

WakeUpandSmelltheKetchup · 26/05/2022 20:36

Why are you her alarm clock?

BadWolf2022 · 26/05/2022 20:37

Unless there's some major back story like your clingy or she's always flakey - YABU. She's clearly tired go out tomorrow?

PinkSyCo · 26/05/2022 20:38

Yeah the obvious thing to have done is to ring her. Why wouldn’t you do that?

RampantIvy · 26/05/2022 20:38

Why wouldn't she have set an alarm?

DD has CFS and has a tendancy to fall asleep, but she sets an alarm if she is going to be doing something.

Does she have health issues?
Did you ring her?

burnoutbabe · 26/05/2022 20:39

IncompleteSenten · 26/05/2022 20:21

Not unreasonable at all. It sounds like she was setting the scene to 'oversleep'.

Yes this. She wanted a ready made excuse.

CuriousCatfish · 26/05/2022 20:39

I can understand why you are upset. I'd give her a ring.

beeeeeeeeeeeeeeee · 26/05/2022 20:42

Seems like an over reaction on the basis of one event. She wasn't asking you to text her to wake her, but just to check in with her in case she was running late, because she'd overslept.
Without any context, is there a reason she needed an afternoon nap, say she's just finished a night shift, or she's not been sleeping for some reason. The nap can mean anything from she's desperately sleep deprived to she's just prioritised a nice nap over meeting you, it's difficult to say.

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