Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Knowing this friend would not come to dads funeral?

2 replies

Lushmetender · 26/05/2022 18:39

Hi dads funeral tomorrow. My friend has always suffered with anxiety but was made worse when she found out her son is on the neurodiversity spectrum (btw I’ve just had a recent diagnosis of this for my youngest daughter). Over the past years she has never really allowed him to become independent as she worries about him all the time. I have tried to meet up with her several times over the past few years but always tells me she’s having problems with her son with one thing or another. She also doesn’t think her DH can do the job better than she can and so is making his reliance on her even greater.

so I was surprised when she said I was going through a tough time and wanted to support me during the funeral having lost both parents in the last 4 months. This morning however she said again her son was experiencing great anxiety and so can’t come to the funeral now and she can’t leave him (originally she was going to leave him with her Mum and dad or her husband). aIBU I just wish she would be honest with herself and never mentioned she’d be coming as I feel let down again. I feel for her I do but another friend who is experiencing social anxiety apologised, said she wouldn’t be able to make it but gave a donation to the hospice my dad was in.

I thanked my friend for letting me know she couldn’t come to the funeral but truth is I haven’t seen her for a couple of years now - so I don’t feel she’s really around anymore.

OP posts:
Mindymomo · 26/05/2022 18:46

Not voting either way, as it seems you both need to support each other. Sorry for your loss and I hope the funeral goes as well as it can do. I don’t remember my Dad’s funeral very well as I was too upset, but I had my husband and my 2 adult children and in laws to help me through it.

JenniferBarkley · 26/05/2022 19:43

I expect that she really wanted to go, and was fooling herself a little that she'd be able to.

It sounds like she's going through a terribly tough time (as of course are you) so I wouldn't judge her too harshly. You can't pour from an empty cup as they say, and I'm guessing her cup is pretty empty.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread