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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to padlock my gate?

252 replies

KTMP16 · 26/05/2022 15:26

Im the last in a row of houses so mines a semi and iv a sidegate....
So my problem is my next door neighbour (and often his kids) will leave the back of their house...casually stroll through my garden and out of my gate, leaving it unlocked for when they come back.

They seem to just think they have the right to do it - theres a gate in the fence (there before i moved in) its just feels so intrusive and I dont know what to do im not a confrontational person. I did padlock it in the past and say i didnt want it unlocked as my young kid would spy his chance to leg it. They just kept knocking on every other day with a plea for me to undo it for them for one reason or another so i gave up. I dont understand why they cant use their own front door?! It doesnt make things quicker!

The guy has literally just walked past my window wheeling his bike and Im fuming and thought id turn to the wise people of mumsnet for advice!

OP posts:
worriedatthistime · 26/05/2022 21:49

@lisavanderpumpscloset why is it if they have right if access
Wheeling a muddy bike round the back is what most would do rather than through the house or taking bins out
My sil street they are not allowed to keep bins out front

CatsOperatingInGangs · 26/05/2022 21:52

Speak to the landlord about rights of access. We’re in a middle of a terrace and everyone has a legal right of access around the back of the houses. Before wheelie bins where a thing, the bins were all around the back too and the bin men used to trails through.
Not closing your gate is rude though. You could have a polite word about that%

NiceTwin · 26/05/2022 21:52

I used to have an end terrace, the house attached had right of way across the back of the house and down the side.
The other 2 middle properties went through the other end terrace.

Didn't used to bother me, I'd rather them take their bins round the back of mine than leave them on the street.

Original poster
KTMP16 · 26/05/2022 22:08

Johnnysgirl · 26/05/2022 21:48

I would assume if you have a house in the middle of a row you'd use your front door to get to your front street?
Not if you have a right of access via the garden leading directly to the street Confused
You need to stop making assumptions based on absolutely nothing and find out for sure.

Sorry! To clarify - this was what i assumed before my mumsnet post today -its been educational folks! :-)

It just baffles me why you'd go through someone elses garden so close to a window when you could use your front door. We are on a cul de sac too so they literally go through my garden round the side then past the front of my house and their own front door

OP posts:
Johnnysgirl · 26/05/2022 22:11

It's to bring bikes, bins, sacks of coal; in the old days, whatever mucky stuff you don't want to drag through your house round to or from their garden.

crowsfeet57 · 26/05/2022 22:11

It's not that common to have access through your neighbour's garden even in terraced houses. Most of my family live or lived in terraced houses. I've owned a couple and not one had right of access through the back garden for neighbours.

Unless your landlord tells you differently I'd lock the gates.

SlightlyGeordieJohn · 26/05/2022 22:15

crowsfeet57 · 26/05/2022 22:11

It's not that common to have access through your neighbour's garden even in terraced houses. Most of my family live or lived in terraced houses. I've owned a couple and not one had right of access through the back garden for neighbours.

Unless your landlord tells you differently I'd lock the gates.

You’re ignoring conditional probabilities here.

In a terraced house with a gate between the gardens, in which the neighbours are using the garden for access, then it’s incredibly common.

If the neighbour’s garden doesn’t have a Kane at the back of it, meaning that the only other way out is through their house then it’s nearly certain that the neighbours have access rights.

Original poster
KTMP16 · 26/05/2022 22:22

NiceTwin · 26/05/2022 21:52

I used to have an end terrace, the house attached had right of way across the back of the house and down the side.
The other 2 middle properties went through the other end terrace.

Didn't used to bother me, I'd rather them take their bins round the back of mine than leave them on the street.

@NiceTwin what was your house layout though? Where they going past your kitchen or living room??

This has got me so confused! The gate at the side doesnt lead to the street/pavement - its my driveway! We all have front gardens too....im sure the houses all along have their bins at the front! Il be checking tomorow!
Im like 90% sure NDN is just a cheeky so and so

OP posts:
ermagerdabear · 26/05/2022 22:38

We rented a house like (we were end terrace and the house next door had right of access). It was complete fucking pain. They NEVER used their front door because their sofa was in front of it, so were always walking through our garden day and night. The kids would never shut the gate so it would flap in the wind and they'd often just leave stuff in our garden and even just stand and chat in front of our back door. Even the postman came round the back.

We moved in the end. It was so intrusive. I don't think you'll be able to do anything OP. If it's an oldish terrace (i.e Victorian or earlier), it comes from the days when some of the backyards were a sort of free run without fences or walls in between. As they were sold later on, the back bit got divided up, but if there was no other way to access the back door, there had to be access across the neighbours gardens/yards, for bins etc. It's very common where I live but some people are more considerate about it than others.

Tulips21 · 26/05/2022 22:40

Happyplace88 · 26/05/2022 15:28

Sorry but why did you unlock it in the first place?! You’ve been a pushover. Padlock it now, and just don’t unlock it! If they ask tell them to use their own front door. This is so so easily solved

Agree

TheGoodEnoughWife · 26/05/2022 22:40

I think neighbour has right of access and is using that. Use it so you don't lose it as it were.

Why would you take a muddy bike through your house when you can get round the back?

Landlord should have told you though and you have been screwed over by them.

Lellochip · 26/05/2022 23:04

It just baffles me why you'd go through someone elses garden so close to a window when you could use your front door. We are on a cul de sac too so they literally go through my garden round the side then past the front of my house and their own front door

Depends on the size of the houses I guess, if I want to use my front door I have to move furniture, and it bolts from the inside so can't open from the outside.

2bazookas · 26/05/2022 23:08

Just put a n ote through the door to say " For security reasons, I'm going to keep the gate locked. Please don't ask for access".

Desdemonadryeyes · 26/05/2022 23:11

But they probably have a right of access.

Why are posters finding this so hard to understand?

Johnnysgirl · 26/05/2022 23:11

2bazookas · 26/05/2022 23:08

Just put a n ote through the door to say " For security reasons, I'm going to keep the gate locked. Please don't ask for access".

Seriously? She'd be very ill advised to do that.

worriedatthistime · 26/05/2022 23:23

@Desdemonadryeyes just goes to show how people are so entitled today

worriedatthistime · 26/05/2022 23:25

@Tulips21 how can you agree , if the neighbour has right of access then op will be in the wrong and can be taken to court
People on here don't seem to understand if a house has right if access that is a legal right

worriedatthistime · 26/05/2022 23:27

@crowsfeet57 depends where you live as its very common around here, more have this set up than don't

SlightlyGeordieJohn · 26/05/2022 23:30

worriedatthistime · 26/05/2022 23:23

@Desdemonadryeyes just goes to show how people are so entitled today

You mean the OP, trying to deny neighbours their legal right of access?

SummerWhisper · 26/05/2022 23:31

He sounds creepy and domineering. Yuk
Keep it locked and tell him it's an invasion of your privacy.

JayAlfredPrufrock · 26/05/2022 23:54

But it’s quite probably not 🙄

Batmannequin · 27/05/2022 00:08

This sounds extremely intrusive and would piss me off royally. Barring any legitimate reason to be in your garden i.e bin day (although I'd be inclined to suggest he keeps his bins at the front of his own house) I'd keep the gate otherwise padlocked, and reiterate your point that your child's safety comes first. Also you would like to enjoy your own garden without random strangers traipsing through.

SlightlyGeordieJohn · 27/05/2022 00:14

Batmannequin · 27/05/2022 00:08

This sounds extremely intrusive and would piss me off royally. Barring any legitimate reason to be in your garden i.e bin day (although I'd be inclined to suggest he keeps his bins at the front of his own house) I'd keep the gate otherwise padlocked, and reiterate your point that your child's safety comes first. Also you would like to enjoy your own garden without random strangers traipsing through.

It’s as though you’ve read literally nothing on this thread other than the first post.

Zemw · 27/05/2022 00:32

Sounds like a CF to me.

Nat6999 · 27/05/2022 00:44

We lived in a passage mid terrace house when I was a child, the neighbours walked right under our kitchen window because everyone used their back doors.

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