AIBU to padlock my gate?

[KTMP16]

Im the last in a row of houses so mines a semi and iv a sidegate....
So my problem is my next door neighbour (and often his kids) will leave the back of their house...casually stroll through my garden and out of my gate, leaving it unlocked for when they come back.

They seem to just think they have the right to do it - theres a gate in the fence (there before i moved in) its just feels so intrusive and I dont know what to do im not a confrontational person. I did padlock it in the past and say i didnt want it unlocked as my young kid would spy his chance to leg it. They just kept knocking on every other day with a plea for me to undo it for them for one reason or another so i gave up. I dont understand why they cant use their own front door?! It doesnt make things quicker!

The guy has literally just walked past my window wheeling his bike and Im fuming and thought id turn to the wise people of mumsnet for advice!

Do they have a right of access? Ask your landlord.

Your post is a little confusing. If there is a row of houses and you are on the end then surely you are an end terrace? If so then likely the gate is a right of access and nothing can be done about this. If you are a semi detached i.e only you and the neighbour are joined together tell them to use their own access up the side of their own house. Definitely approach them about the bin noise and leaving the gate swinging open. Even if they have access it's rude to unnecessarily wake the whole house up or risk your toddler running out an open gate.

They probably have right of access but you can check the deeds for both housers. You can order a copy of the deeds for about £3 here search-property-information.service.gov.uk/?_ga=2.227252893.1011285419.1624257816-2123334908.1623227908

If your renting this should be spelt out in the property details...if not I would lock and direct them to rhe agent/landlord ......
I would also move if they do have this right as would hate it.....
Lived somewhere with it before and the gate was at the far end and a fence separated the accessnpath which was much better as garden private...

Buy that padlock today OP!!!!

Get on to the estate agent/landlord.

I wouldn't like this and if they have right of way for whatever reason, that should have come up before anything was signed!

Just check with the Agents. If they don't know they can ask the landlord

Looking at the diagram, I'd be tempted to move the gate to the end of the garden, then put a path across the bottom and side so they are not crossing your garden right outside your window.

Do they have right of access? If not, lock it.

If it's a row of four then the middle 2 probably have right of way over the back of their neighbour. It's not uncommon, goes way back, usually for coal deliveries.

Irritating as it is he isn't doing anything wrong. But the agent should have made it really clear to you before you signed up.

Yes - ask your landlord.

Then - if there IS no right of way - get used to saying "no".

It's a pain in the arse, & if it's not a legal requirement, there is no reason at all for you to keep pandering to it.

You mentioned feeling hesitant because you came to live here as a single mother. That is ALSO no good reason to keep pandering to cheeky fuckers.

Here's some homework dear OP - www.amazon.co.uk/Woman-Your-Own-Right-Assertiveness/dp/0704334208

Why can't you just check with your landlord? It seems the simplest solution.
Don't go fannying about with padlocks until you know whether he has the right to enter or not.

I once lived in a row of terraces and at about every 5 houses there was a shared side passage that gave all of us access to a back lane (not a road as such). I needed to use it when moving house to get a big table in & out of my dining room. We all had keys to the side gate. But we were all quite careful because we knew that too-easy access could affect the security of our houses.

when you say they have space for bins in front of their house - you mean that is where they should leave them? aka front garden? Op as others have said its sounds like they have right of access & I suspect landlord/agent didn't say anything because it would put you off
& I bet the landlord is still not going to admit they have because its not in his interest.

On the deeds right of access is usually shown as a line across your property leading to the front from theirs

Why does he need to use your garden to get out? Can he not get out of his own garden?

Ask the landlord if it’s ok to put a padlock on it, they’ll know whether there’s a right of way through it or not.
YANBU it would irritate me too.

My house is similar and our next door neighbours use the gate at the side of our house, they are legally allowed to do this as it is a right of way which we knew about when we bought the house. You need to check to see if they have a legal right of access first before you do anything.

We had this when we rented. We were end terrace in a row of 4 and all the gardens had gates in the fences with access. Landlord didn't inform us and we didn't realise until NDN started kicking off about it. We refused access and locked it as it was during COVID lockdown and we have dogs that could have escaped if they left the gate open. They wanted access whenever they felt like it, we wanted them to ask each time so we could secure the dogs inside. It didn't stop her bloke visiting other neighbours by climbing over our fence instead. They did use the end gate at the other end of the row but the whole thing started off a nightmare campaign of abuse, petty behaviour and complaints to our landlord.

I can understand you've got yourself into a tight spot with this, and there's no need to point that out further, you need ideas. Mine is, once you've got confirmation that they do not have access rights then lock it, straight away. When they catch you out you can breezily say, "oh that, meant to catch you, bit if a lifestyle shift in our house so it has to stay locked now" and breezily walk away. If they ask you to undo it or give them a key then you say "do you mean the gate to my property? No I wouldn't do that", and if you're up to it maybe given them a critical look that says "odd request there mate", but again just say it quickly, just get the words out, and then literally move on. If they ask what the lifestyle shift was just swat the question away "it's not interesting to discuss" and walk away, smile and whatnot but move on. If they knock on your door either don't answer or pick up your phone or baby and be too busy to engage them on the topic.

Once you do it once it will be easier to reinforce. They'll take a long while to get used to it, they'll assume you'll cave, they'll come in with one off requests that you might think are reasonable, but hold firm, your stance is "my property, my gate, no access". Whatever you do, never apologise. It recognises hardship or a mistake and gives them a way in. It will feel so hard to you, but it won't help.

So, get your facts, then practice your statements and the walk away, and then never ever back track.

They've always acted like they have the right to do it unquestioned!

I'm afraid this is probably because they have the right to do it unquestioned!

This is why I'd never want to live in a terrace - had an ex bf and his DPs home all the neighbours were constantly traipsing through each other's back gardens. Even walking past their own front doors to do so. Bonkers.

Yeah you need to find out about that, it would be very unusual and very cheeky for there to be a gate into your garden from theirs if they don't have a right of way through

They will whinge about unlocking the gate as long as it remains there. If you don’t use it I’d replace it with a fence panel.

We refused access and locked it as it was during COVID lockdown and we have dogs that could have escaped if they left the gate open. They wanted access whenever they felt like it, we wanted them to ask each time so we could secure the dogs inside.

That is very unreasonable. A right of way is a legal right of access.

I don't know...do we need the diagram for padlock situations or just parking issues? 😂