To expect teenagers to be respectful?

[BunnyMum2000]

Yesterday, I picked my children up from after school clubs (primary school) and as we were walking home there was a group of 4 secondary school boys in the alley way (FYI - In their school uniforms), using bad language (the F word) I asked them to watch their language in front of young children.

As we walked away from the continued using the F word, finding it amusing.

Today, we again walked past them (3 boys this time) who obviously recognised us and found it funny to shout the F word at us.

This was really disrespectful and quite intimidating for my children, a 9 year old, and 8 year old girl.

AIBU to email their school and complain?

Yes, do. My kid's school would take that very seriously. Little shits.

Yep schools in my area also take this very seriously.

My old school and my kid's schools would take a very dim view of their pupils acting like that outside (in their uniforms). I doubt the kids could be disciplined for it but it would likely be something addressed to the whole school with a few (empty) threats of punishment for those pupils found continuing to act that way.

Yes they’re representing the school. School will take it seriously

I work in a secondary school, it would be taken very seriously by the school. Our Head sent letters to all residents in the nearby streets asking that if there was any anti-social behaviour from our students that he would want to hear from them so he could act upon it.

I complained about all the kids walking past my house after the local secondary school day finished, they called at the shop each day and just threw all their rubbish all over the floor outside mine and my neighbors houses, one boy out of the hundreds of children that walk to the school used my bin for his litter, one!

At first, the woman I spoke to on the phone was quite shirty and defensive asking me how I knew they belonged to that school, I replied that every single one of them wearing the schools uniform was a huge giveaway 😂and she then laughed and said ah well yes, that would do it and she apologised and said it would be mentioned in the next assembly, thankfully it stopped.

We still get the odd child dropping litter but you’ll always get that but it’s nothing like it used to be before I called.

So, in conclusion 😂yes I’d try calling the school.

YANBU. I think I have been quite lucky in not really receiving this kind of back chat. I did ask a gang of very sweary young teens to dial it back in front of the littlies and they did. Most of the teen boys and girls I know are lovely.
I think I must give off Mum-vibes as even unknown to me teens seem to smile politely at me..

I expect everyone to be respectful. No need to swear in front of other people unless you know they don't mind it or you are somewhere like a football match (which are best avoided if easily offended!)

I once came out of Booths in Knutsford and a group of lads, about 24/15, were sitting on a bench, every other word was 'fuck'. I told them off and one of them offered to show me what it meant. Rang Knutsford High and they couldn't have cared less.

Very much depends on the school.

Yes, I would report to the school. Our school wouldn't like it at all.

It's pretty difficult to stop some teenagers from openly swearing at teachers, never mind swearing in front of members of the public. However seriously anyone's local school might claim to take this sort of thing, they can't really do anything about it.

If it were a case of some nice, well brought-up teenagers just accidentally being a bit careless about the language they are using in front of young children, then a word from the Head might chasten them. But there are plenty of teens who wouldn't give a damn about it and would think it was funny. A detention etc won't make the slightest difference.

So YANBU to be annoyed by it, but YABU to think there's much point in reporting it.

I couldn't get upset about a group of teens swearing amongst themselves, I think you over reacted.

They shouldn't be swearing AT you however or intimating/harassing you.

Teacher here. A PP had it right when they said it'd be empty threats and we can't do much.

Some schools manage discipline perfectly well.

If they're wearing the school's uniform they represent the school so the school should take it seriously and deal with it. Yanbu

How long did you listen to them swear before you told them off?

You could email the school and hopefully they will take it seriously but in reality there is likely little they can do that would be effective. Do you even know the names of any of the children concerned?

To be quite honest, the best thing you could have done was pay them no attention at all. Then they would have been much less likely to have made a target of you and your children. As it was, they got an unexpected rise out of you so they latched onto it.

Teenagers in a group like that can be shits. Not all of course. It can be very intimidating. Tell the school, but don't expect miracles. If you know any of their parents and they are reasonable people then you could try that angle too.

In future don't make yourself at target by approaching them and showing your disapproval. They are likely to think that is a big joke and make more of it than they otherwise might have.

Johnnysgirl of course they do, but some other schools don't have the resources or parental buy in to effectively deal with this kind of stuff, unfortunately.

By the way, paying them no attention does not mean that you don't inform the school. You can do both.

Some schools manage discipline perfectly well.

Some schools have different demographics. I've taught in quite a few schools. The only ones who handled discipline 'perfectly well' to the point that they would be able to exert enough influence to genuinely make all kids behave well inside school, let alone outside school, were private schools or selective schools. Among the others, some do it better than others, but their powers/tools are very limited.

Be warned it could escalate as they'll clearly know who has reported them

The irony in some posters referring to teenagers as 'shits'.

Also, how exactly would you identify these children for school to deal with?

OK, behaving like shits. Is that better? Not sure what the irony is. Teenagers are perfectly capable of behaving like shits.

Why not talk to the school by a phone call, perhaps makes it seem you taking it more seriously.