To think this was very scary?

[Eggsforb]

Was out walking my dog at around 11.30am on a grassy area away from the road, my dog stopped to sniff and so as i waited i happened to look around me and there was a man kind of half jogging behind me towards me. I looked right at him and he stopped and started walking. There was no one else around. I immedietly dipped out the side onto a side road that links to a main road and started walking very fast. My dog wouldnt budge though and was staring back and sure enough he had also come out after us and stopped walking towards us again when i turned around and almost acted like he was lost or confused but i immedietly crossed over and continued onto the busy main road.

AIBU to think he was running up behind me for shady reasons? 😦

I honestly think the staring and turning around bit may be being misconstrued. All i mean is i looked up and seen him, before then i wasnt aware he was behind me.

He was NOT out jogging. That was very very clear. He may have been walking hurriedly for another reason but he was not "out jogging" I pass loads of people out jogging every day when i walk my dog and dont bat an eyelid. I definately dont think everyone is out to get me!!

I honestly just thought what if that was a young girl and she didnt notice he was there and his intentions were bad. 😔

Honestly, you're more than likely overthinking. Take whatever steps you need to feel safe but this is not a police matter. People do seemingly odd things all the time.
The other day, I walked past a house, to see if a meeting was happening, it wasn't so I immediately turned round. Likely looked odd because it was just a standard terraced house and there were two women talking on the pavement opposite. No idea what they might think I was doing, probably unsubtly casing the joint or something 🤣

Yes, sounds like a weirdo and you did exactly the right thing. I think some men follow women on purpose to frighten them. They don't intend to actually do anything but enjoy the powerful feeling of knowing that they could if they wanted to and the woman doesn't know that. Or he was actually intending to harm you. Or he was just very strange and confused. No way to know, but always listen to your instincts.

I was followed in a city centre a few years ago when I was with another mum and our young children. No idea how long he was doing it before I noticed, but he looked like a completely normal, handsome, smartly dressed young man. Blended in entirely with all the other suited people around us and absolutely gave me the creeps.

My child's shoelace had come undone so I had to suddenly stop in a fairly busy area to tie it up. I noticed that he stopped as soon as I did, but he wasn't close enough to us to have needed to stop. He could easily have carried on and gone around us. I thought that was odd, but I smiled at him in a 'oops, sorry for inconveniencing you' way, and he returned the smile but just stood there, still smiling and watching us. Him standing there watching me crouched down tying was really unnerving so I kept looking at him to see whether he was leaving. He realised that he couldn't stand there forever, so he pretended to carry on walking, but was watching us in window reflections the whole time. When he thought I wasn't looking, he doubled back and waited a little bit behind us again. I looked right at him and he crossed over the road, walked over there for a bit, then crossed back again when he thought I wasn't looking. I don't know what the hell was going on with him but I didn't want to find out. I 'accidentally' walked right into the middle of a group of people and he ended up walking away in the end. The other mum hadn't even noticed! That blew my mind.

Ignore others saying 'ooh men can't even look at women anymore, ooh men can't even be lost jogging in the woods anymore'. You didn't offend or insult anybody, you just listened to your instincts and kept yourself safe. We all know exactly the looks and behaviours that creepy men get away with in public because they can be innocently explained away by people who weren't there. I believe staring has been added to the list which makes up sexual harassment on public transport. Because we know the difference between making normal eye contact with a man and a man behaving in an intimidating and threatening manner. I believe you and I would have felt exactly the same.

Where do they post about it online?

Dog napper, perhaps?

Maybe. He looked rather old to be a dog napper, not that you can put an age on that i suppose. She is a cavalier king charles so would be desirable.

That actually made the hairs on my neck stand up, especially the part where he was running towards you and stopped when you turned to fully face him. Very strange. Carry some mace and/or a big stick with you although coming up from behind you it might not make a difference, but who knows.

He could've been a potential rapist.

He could've slowed down coz he's scared of dogs (I always slow if on a narrow path passing a dog)

Maybe he thought you were someone else?

Lots of potential reasons, but I don't think someone rapey would generally go for a woman with a dog, personally. Why risk getting bitten?

But sometimes if a situation seems odd and gives you bad vibes it's for a reason. Maybe he had nefarious reasons and then changed his mind when he saw you had a dog with you? Maybe he was going the same way as you but then turned back coz he could sense he'd unnerved you?

No one can possibly know.

You don't watch the news, do you? Maybe start by reading about Julia James.

Yes, OP, that does sound scary. Even if he was innocent of any ill intentions, he behaved very strangely and you were right to take evasive action to be on the safe side.

Lots of potential reasons, but I don't think someone rapey would generally go for a woman with a dog, personally. Why risk getting bitten?

Again, read about Julia James.
And Rachel Nickel.

I knew by the title that this would involve a man.

I also knew that the answer would be no.

Are women really this pathetic around men?

Sounds really odd. I would be careful going back down there alone. If it's a closed space and he went back into it after you managed to get away doesn't sound good. I would be thinking the same from what you said. Hope your ok To be safe wouldn't go alone, even if he didn't mean it like that he needs to be careful

Don't understand why people have to break it down to being a "man" if a women done the same i would still find it strange lol

Some women have been followed in my area, both on foot and in vans by men trying to steal dogs. They either sell them or use them for dog baiting. I'm a dog walker and have to be careful when I'm out and about. Dh sometimes comes with me depending upon the area.

I was thinking very much about the tragic recent case of Julia James when a similar thing happened to me a couple of weeks ago.
I have very large dogs and - like lots of other women - I mostly walk them in isolated woodland, so that they can run free and other dog walkers are not intimidated.

A younger guy started to walk behind me on a completely isolated narrow path ( 15 minutes walk from the nearest houses)
I stopped so that he would walk ahead and we didn't exchange any pleasantries. He strolled in front of me so slowly I was irritated and uneasy in equal measure. After a while, he simply stopped still, pretending to look at the trees or something? 🤔
I was so annoyed by now, I took out my phone and videod him ( on the pretext of videoing my dogs who were ambling in front 😁)

To cut it short, i had to get my dogs on leads a short time afterwards as we were approaching a lane that cars use ( took a while as they were wrapped around me) and he strolled past me again, looking directly at me but saying nothing.

Nothing happened and I mention that he looked like he was from overseas because I wonder if it was a cultural thing?
I see it a lot in Europe - strolling slowly, direct eye contact but no smiling, lack of awareness how their behaviour may be affecting a line female etc..
If I hadn't been with my dogs, I would have been quaking in my boots and I realise this is a false sense of security.

AIBU to think he was running up behind me for shady reasons?

If his intentions were shady, being "looked at" or "crossing the street" would not have prevented him from carrying them out.

Unless you have some kind of Superpowered Glare OP.

You what now?

"Hello - cop shop? A random man was running behind me & when I looked at him he started walking instead. Then he looked lost or confused so I crossed the street, & now he's gone."
Police: WTF?
"But MY DOG LOOKED AT HIM TOO"
Police: "Stay in & lock your doors, we're sending a squad car & helicopter, plus a translator for your dog's statement."

From past experience that would have unnerved me. Better to be aware and safe rather than sorry.

That’s not always the case. Sometimes of the element of surprise is gone it makes some people think twice.

I'd do exactly as you did in that situation, it's better to be safe
Who knows what his intentions were, it was certainly strange behaviour
I've had a similar experience to you OP, when walking my dogs in the park, man behind following (no dogs with him, just on his own)
When I stopped walking to let the dogs sniff around in the grass, the man behind decided to stop also
We were in a big, open, grassed area of the park, with plenty of room for him to walk past us, but no, he didn't
I thought this was odd, so I decided to about turn and walk back the way I had come, he did the same, following behind
Getting a bit nervy because of this, I quickly exited the park through a side entrance
He stood and watched but didn't follow
He may, or may not, have been the same man who was peeking from behind a tree in the wooded area of the park, on another occasion when I was walking with the dogs
As I walked along, he would jump from behind one tree to another, albeit at some distance away from me, but still, what strange, unsettling, behaviour
As a previous poster has already said, I think there are men who like to make women feel uncomfortable
And that is the lower end of the scale!
You are not being unreasonable

Surely if he meant you harm, you'd have been harmed?

I think it's more likely his watched beeped to tell him his workout was over.

There’s a podcast I listen to called ‘let’s not meet’. It’s about situations like this which I would find pretty scary and usually the message is to trust your gut. Most of the time on mumsnet you get told the same.

For those saying if something was going to happen, it would have. A friend was told on a self-defence couse that if you suspect someone is following you and up to no good then looking directly at them confidently and thereby letting them know you know they are there is advised as that often makes them think twice.

I can tell people are going to run with the jog/workout thing despite me saying several times he was NOT working out or jogging. He was wearing jeans and a waterproof type coat. He was speedily heading in my direction until I stopped and turned around when he stopped his pace before WALKING out of the same exit as me again until then turned back and went the same way he had been come towards me from. It was obvious to anyone who seen him he was not exercising. Even if it was completely innocent which of course it may have been.