Genuinely don't know if iabu

[Sudscameraaction]

So I used to work full time but now look after our sn son. As a result I do the general cleaning and cooking, including washing clothes but DH is pretty good and tidies, cleans the kitchen most evenings.

We're both a bit messy and have a floordrobe but I generally deal with mine every few days whilst his just stays in a pile until I get frustrated and wash it.

I've accidentally put things that shouldn't have gone through the wash before because DH leaves things in his pockets. His view is that as it's not in a washing pile I should check pockets. My view is it basically functions as a wash pile so he needs to be more careful as I am not used to having pockets that hold anything so don't always think to check.

Anyway, absolutely gutted because I put his jeans in the wash and when I emptied it I realised it had our camera in it. It had lots of unbacked up photos of Ds in it and I'm gutted. It also wasn't a cheap camera.

Basically, should I be kicking myself anymore than I already am or is he partly responsible when he knows I'm not always great at remembering to check?

I'm thinking to try and insist on a new system, but I don't want it to end in an argument where I'm accused of being a hypocrit.
Aibu or is he?
Or are we both sillies?

He shouldn't have kept something so precious in a pocket on the floor. You should have checked if you were going to wash it, as you know he's useless at emptying.

You both need to be more organised about how you manage your clothes/laundry. If you insist on having a 'floordrobe' then at the very least, get a laundry basket as well so stuff you'll wear again goes on the floor and stuff that is definitely dirty goes into the basket. It's not any more arduous to shove something in a laundry basket than it is to shove them on to the floor. I'm not a tidy person but even I can manage this.

The camera itself is probably fucked, but presumably it has a memory card? The memory card might still be OK, so it's worth taking it out and seeing if you can export the photos.

This is a very weird situation.

It's fine to wear clothes multiple times, but normally you'd keep them on a chair or something.

Who even has a camera, let alone one they leave in their pocket while they peel of their jeans and throw them on the floor.

How is it possible to put jeans with a camera in the wash and not notice.

Memory cards can survive water, the camera being ruined doesn't relate to the memory card.

Yeah yabu

You shouldn't be picking up after him

Leave his stuff alone

Wearing trousers a couple of days in a row (surely must people do this anyway) is not a "good reason" to leave them on the floor.

Good lord...how old are you both! A 'Floordrobe' is not something I'd expect to see outside of a teenagers bedroom or a student flat!

You're both grim! Your child will learn from you...time to start adulting!

Why are you washing things not in the washing pile? Just stop.

I don't check pockets pre-wash. Not my clothes, not my responsibility. This includes the kids (though they get reminders).

You are both unreasonable for not hanging up your clothes and acting like a 'floordobe' is a normal thing that exists in adult life.

He is unreasonable for leaving a camera in jeans pockets.

You are unreasonable for not checking the pockets as the person who puts the items in the washing machine.

You're basically looking to assign blame. This is a problem the two of you built together. Do you generally need to assign blame before you can look for a solution?

Stop messing with his stuff. If he's keeping it on the floor and it's bothering you, find a solution, together, for that. He should be interested in stopping doing things that piss you off. What happens when you tell him his stuff is in your way? What's his attitude in response to that?

Why do you feel compelled to wash stuff he's left on the floor? Can't you just bag it up?

I think if you're the one putting clothes in the washing machine then you're the one responsible for making sure a camera doesn't go in with it.

I have a 'floor drawer' which is basically a step up from a floordrobe, anything that can go another wear gets chucked in the floor drawer if I can't be bothered to hang it back up. Anything dirty goes in the washing basket. Tidy room meets can't be arsed and no confusion about what wants washing.

He is unreasonable to be leaving clothes all over the floor for any length of time. You shouldn't have to pick up after an adult just to run the hoover round.