Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Advice on 7 year old child wetting themselves

22 replies

mamma2013 · 24/05/2022 21:55

My ds is nearly 8 and is still having accidents. It is so hit and miss and is driving me insane. First he is dry in the day but wets the bed then we have months of the reverse. It's mainly at school if its the day as we nag and nag him to go try if he is at home. I know someone will come along saying it's not laziness but it seems too much of a coincidence that I have to really nag to get him to go with us..he will wait till he is bursting if I dont then end up bolting out of the room.

So any tips for encouraging him to go at school? He is shy so has made me promise not to talk to the teacher and it caused a whole argument so I am trying to just remind him every morning to keep trying every break etc. I cant help but think he is too focused on getting outside to play.

Sorry for the rant I'm just getting fed up.

OP posts:
KangarooKenny · 24/05/2022 21:56

Have school said anything about it ?
Contact the school nurse.

HotPenguin · 24/05/2022 21:57

Have you had input from a doctor? And have you looked on the ERIC website?

Original poster
mamma2013 · 24/05/2022 22:03

The school havent got a clue. They dont notice him, that's a whole other thread.

I am wondering whether I could ring the doctor and ask them for advice but I was hoping for some parent advice first as I cant help thinking it's a case of getting into his head more than a health issue. And before someone asks he has no known development issues, he was delayed in speech but is totally where he should be now in every other area.

OP posts:
RedCheese · 24/05/2022 22:03

Is he suffering from constipation? I had similar issues with 4 year old who was soiling in school 4-5 times a day. G.P. refused to give laxatives, only encouraged more fibre in his diet 😤 despite his diet being full of Weetabix, fruit and veg. After 6 months of Hell, the GP finally prescribed Laxido and the wetting went away.

LyndaSnellsSniff · 24/05/2022 22:03

You say it's mostly at school, what does he do when it happens there?

Porcupineintherough · 24/05/2022 22:09

You were wrong to promise not to talk to the teacher about it. I think that has to be the way forward as he can't manage it himself (whatever "it" is).

Alternatively, when we had this issue, we paid for drama therapy which resolved the problem (not really sure how/why but he was/is an anxious child and I think the toileting was the result of emotional problems.).

CornishPorsche · 24/05/2022 22:11

You need to speak to his teacher - this isn't something DS gets to dictate at his age as his health comes before him being embarrassed.

Have a look on ERIC www.eric.org.uk/ for some practical advice and how to approach this with both your son and the school.

Original poster
mamma2013 · 24/05/2022 22:14

It's a tricky one as he comes home and goes straight to the toilet and I say are you dry and he says yes. Then I notice when he gets changed that his school clothes are damp. He doesn't give me a straight answer when it happens so it's got to be some time between lunchtime and home time. It's not every day but sometimes it's a few days in a row then he is fine.

I have wondered about the constipation thing too , I read about that and its logical but how would I really know as he goes without me now and like I said above he wont give me straight answers about stuff to do with toilets. Embarrassed I think

OP posts:
Johnnysgirl · 24/05/2022 22:14

The school havent got a clue. They dont notice him, that's a whole other thread
If he's wetting himself at school this can't possibly be true.

Original poster
mamma2013 · 24/05/2022 22:16

Porcupineintherough · 24/05/2022 22:09

You were wrong to promise not to talk to the teacher about it. I think that has to be the way forward as he can't manage it himself (whatever "it" is).

Alternatively, when we had this issue, we paid for drama therapy which resolved the problem (not really sure how/why but he was/is an anxious child and I think the toileting was the result of emotional problems.).

I didnt promise but I said if he started going during the day and was dry then we wouldnt have to involve his teacher.

I was at a complete loss and feel like I am mucking it up I'm really doing my best

OP posts:
Claireshh · 24/05/2022 22:19

My son is only recently dry (age 10). He had lots of investigations. At age 5 an ultrasound showed he had a very small bladder. He was having leaking accidents during the day and always wet at night. The day accidents reduced whilst on medication - oxybutynin. The night wetting did not improve.

During lockdown we had a video consultation with a brilliant doctor. This is what he recommended.

1000ml of water throughout the day - the large Ion water bottles are perfect.
At least six trips to the loo during the day
Lift them for a wee when you go to bed
No food after dinner - obviously if he was hungry I would let him have something but I tried to limit food after 7pm

It took at least six months but he is dry every single night now.

Don’t worry, he’ll get there. X ps dm me if you want the consultants details.

FangsForTheMemory · 24/05/2022 22:20

Is he frightened of using the school loo for some reason? You never know what will set kids off. When I was at primary school there was a white paint stain on the floor of one of the cubicles and word got around that it was a ghost and NOBODY would use that cubicle. As there were only three available, it was ridiculous.

PeekAtYou · 24/05/2022 22:20

My kids avoided the loos at school as they were so dirty. Could that be an issue?

Original poster
mamma2013 · 24/05/2022 22:23

Claireshh · 24/05/2022 22:19

My son is only recently dry (age 10). He had lots of investigations. At age 5 an ultrasound showed he had a very small bladder. He was having leaking accidents during the day and always wet at night. The day accidents reduced whilst on medication - oxybutynin. The night wetting did not improve.

During lockdown we had a video consultation with a brilliant doctor. This is what he recommended.

1000ml of water throughout the day - the large Ion water bottles are perfect.
At least six trips to the loo during the day
Lift them for a wee when you go to bed
No food after dinner - obviously if he was hungry I would let him have something but I tried to limit food after 7pm

It took at least six months but he is dry every single night now.

Don’t worry, he’ll get there. X ps dm me if you want the consultants details.

This is great thank you. Kind of what we did for the bedwetting side of things and touch wood it's working at the moment.

Any tips on getting a routine at school? I always say go every break/lunch but no way of knowing if he actually does it which is a pain.

OP posts:
Original poster
mamma2013 · 24/05/2022 22:25

Yes he says the toilets are awful and disgusting. How do I get around that? If I tell the teacher will they even take note?

OP posts:
FangsForTheMemory · 24/05/2022 22:26

mamma2013 · 24/05/2022 22:25

Yes he says the toilets are awful and disgusting. How do I get around that? If I tell the teacher will they even take note?

There's your problem, then.

Original poster
mamma2013 · 24/05/2022 22:29

Thank you all for your help and advice. as you can tell it could be one of a million issues: constipation, wanting to run off and play and knowing he might get to the best ball if he 'wastes time' or even the toilets being dirty. But the question is how do I encourage him to go every break and lunch. At home or on days out we just say right toilet time and if he argues we deal with it but I am not there at school and I seriously cant see the teachers pestering him as they have some bigger issues with other kids like I said above. (Or maybe I'm wrong about that and I'm being too polite and should just ask them)

OP posts:
CornishPorsche · 24/05/2022 22:30

You speak to the school about how it's affecting your son.

Have you seen them? Worth having a look at them to see what the issue is - if anything - or if it's just an excuse.

Original poster
mamma2013 · 24/05/2022 22:34

I'll have a word with them tomorrow, thanks

OP posts:
KangarooKenny · 25/05/2022 06:15

Yes, you absolutely speak to the school. He first get to decide on this.

KangarooKenny · 25/05/2022 06:17

*doesn’t

nometo4 · 25/05/2022 06:25

Please talk to a GP. My child had this and it was down to terrible constipation. We saw it clearly on an X-ray. After treating the constipation, the accidents stopped but it occasionally comes back.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page