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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbour dispute

9 replies

Ihaveasorehead · 24/05/2022 20:16

I recently had a dispute with my neighbour and was curious for thoughts on whether I was being unreasonable.

Neighbour lives above me and has his living room above my bedroom. His living room is uncarpeted and he's a night owl so I unfortunately hear quite a lot and it often interferes with my sleep. Mostly it's just him walking about/playing on his Wii thing/playing music so I haven't mentioned it to him and just make do with earplugs and white noise. The music does get quite annoying because his sound system seems to be just over my bed.

Last weekend he had a party and was blaring music that I could hear word perfect. I held put for as long as I could but at 11.40pm I was desperate to sleep and went upstairs to speak to him. He came out just as I was getting to the top of the stairs and I asked him to please turn the music down. He had to ask me to repeat myself 3x and close the door to his flat because he couldn't hear me over the music. He said "ok". When I went downstairs, the music was turned up for a few minutes but was then turned down.

The next evening, the neighbour knocked on my door and told me never to knock on his door or go neat him again. He said he's a very quiet neighbour and it's my problem if I want to go to bed early at the weekend. He said he bought his house and will have a party if he wants. I felt really uncomfortable - he's a really tall guy in his late 50s and I'm female in my early 30s. I'm a single mum and was in my house alone with my 2 kids at the time. I felt he was quite aggressive - physically coming close to me and the tone qas quite menacing. I was really polite and apologised for the inconvenience but said I was trying to sleep and was only asking for it to be turned down. He kept repeating never to knock on his door again and to stay away from him. I didn't even knock on his door because he came out before I had a chance to. I have anxiety and since it happened, I've been questioning myself and whether I was being unreasonable, but it's also made me feel really anxious about running into him in the communal stair. AIBU?

OP posts:
Bixlepie · 24/05/2022 20:47

It doesn't sound like you were being unreasonable, he sounds a bit unhinged tbh. I'm not surprised you felt threatened. Sorry this has happened to you.

Cliftontherocks · 24/05/2022 20:50

Bixlepie · 24/05/2022 20:47

It doesn't sound like you were being unreasonable, he sounds a bit unhinged tbh. I'm not surprised you felt threatened. Sorry this has happened to you.

His issue not yours

LittleOwl153 · 24/05/2022 20:53

It's his issue. He's trying to intimidate you into not making any issue of his behaviour.

Look up your council rules on noise control. Music blaring over 11pm is definitely something they would listen to if reported. If you are renting make tour landlord aware of the issue also.

NellesVilla · 24/05/2022 21:00

He’s a cunt. You’ll have to report him if it happens again and mention his intimidating demeanor to a mum and kids.
Shame that you didn’t mention about the general annoying nocturnal noises before though.

WiddlinDiddlin · 24/05/2022 21:07

Don't let the fucker intimidate you.

You were perfectly reasonable.

I would try to find out whether he is actually permitted to have a bare wooden floor in his flat - he may not be, and owning his flat would make no odds there!

I would record dates/times and make a complaint to the local authority if the noise issue continues - you can let them know you have tried discussing it with him and his response was to attempt intimidation and to tell you to never address him again.. so you now have no choice but to take the matter further.

Definitely let your landlord know - the other resident could easily be lying about owning his flat too, you only have his word for it and thus far he has proven himself to be an arsehole!

ThreeLittleDots · 24/05/2022 21:13

Do you own or rent?

If you own, don't make any official complaint to environmental health or approach the neighbour again. You have to declare problems with neighbours in the property info form.

If you rent, I would probably still look to move, but may consider reporting to environmental health or the police if he is abusive or threatening.

godmum56 · 24/05/2022 21:18

ThreeLittleDots · 24/05/2022 21:13

Do you own or rent?

If you own, don't make any official complaint to environmental health or approach the neighbour again. You have to declare problems with neighbours in the property info form.

If you rent, I would probably still look to move, but may consider reporting to environmental health or the police if he is abusive or threatening.

  1. depends how long you plan to stay, nasty neighbour might leave first
  2. I think you have to do something because of the intimidation. When I had similar from a neighbour, I phoned the police for advice and to stick a flag in the ground incase it escalated.
Luna6CR · 25/05/2022 11:09

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10HailMarys · 25/05/2022 14:56

You did nothing wrong and your neighbour is a dreadful cunt.

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