To feel like motherhood is just giving in/up

[Dowhatdowullywup]

I have 2 dc 6 months and 2 yrs old.

Tonight my son had a bowl of chips and ice cream for dinner. His diet today consisted of puffs and some fruit. We make him salmon, mince, curries, stews, pasta etc.. All go on the floor. He has to eat something. So I give in.

He harrangs me for TV. I try to read books or play with toys. Not interested. We end up watching paw patrol on a loop. Again I give in.

He doesn't want to get in pram. I try and wrestle him in. Lure him with snacks. No joy. It takes us about an hr to get home with the baby screaming instead. I gave in.

Tonight when trying to get them both ready for bed alone I huffed and my ds muttered. Ffs. Not the first time either. He heard me say this a while ago when very exasperated and has latched on to it. I'm mortified and don't know how to stop it.

I'm basically the type of mother I judged and said I'd never be. More fool me, eh. I'll never judge again. AIBU to feel like I'm failing at this having 2 kids gig or does anyone else find it rough?

🙄
i love the comment about being amazing at motherhood until you became one. So accurate! It’s the hardest job and some days you win, others you lose but really, as long as your child is nurtured it’s about the long game.

Parenting isn't giving in. Its picking your battles. Sometimes it is necessary for your sanity. Start again the next day.

No one gets it perfect every single day. Mum guilt is the worst. I get it all the time, mine are 16, 13 and 12 now, but often I feel guilty about not playing with them more, not being able to give them more etc etc. All 3 are well adjusted, happy and secure. So I take it as a win and realise the standards we hold ourselves to are just not realistic sometimes.

Pick one thing you are going to stick to and focus on that until its established. For example, I would probably go with food because the TV to be honest with a 6 month old is a sanity saver at times.

But most of all, don't be too hard on yourself. 2 children under 3 is hard, hard work. You feel outnumbered and outvoted (makes me wonder how on earth I managed with 3 under 4s now!).

I know it is a cliche, but eventually it DOES get easier and you do come to miss those years.

You're not failing, you just have your hands full!

If you do want to make some changes, focus on the easy wins. Distract and manipulate!

Shove 2 yo into the pram with a snack or, failing that, Paw Patrol on your phone. You'll be on your way before he remembers to be outraged. We bought an additional chest clip for ours as our DC could wriggle out with just the usual straps (and used to love showing us he could do this!)

Give him food when out and about... they're hungrier in the pram! Mine used to eat carrot and cucumber sticks, nuts and mini chicken and cheese sandwiches in the pram when we were on the move. He never ate those at home...it was just being hungry, in the fresh air and no alternative. Then at home you don't need to worry too much about dinner and offering alternatives... either he eats or he doesn't!

To get my DC to play and not whine for TV, I used to 'play' myself. Get down on the floor with the toys and totally ignore him while you build a duplo tower or crawl through a cardboard box or whatever... ime very few children can resist an adult playing it cool in this way. They're programmed to be interfering little buggers.

😂

You are not failing. Two at those ages must be exhausting. Remember tomorrow is anoyher day. There is always something to feel guilty about and you can only do your best. Think food groups across a week and don't fret if there are bad days where all they eat is junk. Sometimes tv os an easy fix especially if you are home feeding and dealing with a baby. As everyone has said, pick your battles. If you feel resilient and have something else you can distract him with go and do it. If you need a break whack paw patrol on. It won't ruin his brain. My 11 y/o ds watched non stop tv tje year I breastfed my youngest. He is a very well rounded, sporty, creative and clever boy now....watching Toy Story on repeat didn't rot his brain. My daughter was and is a fussy eater. Lived off brrad sticks and baby bel for a couple of years. Yesterday she at stir fry with vegetables in....we've come a long way!! Also, yours isn't the only child who has been exposed to and copied a swear word. The parents who.are failing are the ones who aren't worried about any of this. Things will get easier. I think 4 is a great age!

I only have one toddler and you're doing way better than me. DS stayed up until 9pm watching Paw Patrol tonight. He was happy. It's all good. I'm firm when he's doing something dangerous but if he wants not to wear trousers? Fuck it, no trousers. If he wants to only eat beige carbs? Who doesn't?

Like I say, maybe I was just an old dragon but I think it makes the tanrtums more likely to happen if you cave in all the time. Everyone has bad days, I did have plenty, but lots of things in the OP are quite easy to fix once and for all.

Omg I could have written this exact post myself today as it rings so true! I give in constantly as I'm too exhausted to fight all day long. I never thought I'd be like that.

My 2 year old has watched so much TV this morning that the Netflix "continue watching" option came up. I really thought my kids wouldn't watch any TV before I had them but sometimes I am just so completely defeated within an hour of them waking up...

It’s not about giving up or in, it’s about picking your battles.
Your kids are at a very intensive stage, yesterdays battle to choose wasn’t the one about food.
You’re doing great!