Miss my old friends

[Lagertha6]

Try to keep this short.

In my third serious relationship and we have a house/cat been together 7 years, trying for baby.

My two prev relationships I ended up losing both of my friendship groups, with the last 1 including all my school friends. I cut them off as my friends fiancee was best friends with my ex.

My ex sexually assaulted me and mentally abused me, so I ended up depressed and on strong tablets. I needed fresh start whilst I healed. Also had mental health probs since primary school which they knew about.

Few years back feeling stronger I contacted some of my old friends, was ignored an told to sling hook. When our friendship ended none of them ever contacted me to see if I was ok and they knew of my mental health probs as had them since school.

Friendship was always me contacting them etc.

Later on, I also broke up with my best friend (separate from other friends) as she didn't like my current partner and I felt like it was all me doing the effort. She played mind games at times and I never felt good enough for her.

Also I had tried to kill myself and she didn't come the hosp after I asked her to come. I'd supported her through getting abortion behind her bfs back and other stuff. However she was my social life.

I don't really have a social life now. My bf is in Police so every weekend I'm alone with my cat.

Just feel really sad at 37 I don't go out or have anyone to talk too. I miss my old friends. I miss my best friend.

I've reached out to them all several times and been knocked back. What do I do?

My mental health is ok and I feel more free now. I do have depression and have self harmed in the past.

This sounds really difficult.
Your old friends don't really sound like particularly nice people, so I would focus on starting again with a brand new start.

Can you meet your partner's friends? How about neighbours? Local groups, community centre, church? Do you work OP? Are there any people there you could meet up with on the weekend?

They don't sound like friends OP.

You've reached out several times and they are not interested. Start looking for new friends. Join a hobby to meet people with similar interests. There are apps that can help you meet up with others looking to make friends.

This is a difficult one, not knowing you personally but it sounds like there's something which has made them not want to be in touch. Sorry to say this so bluntly but sometimes struggling with social skills can unintentionally push other people away. do you think you might have undiagnosed ASD? or have you been quite difficult to be around because of your mental health difficulties? I'd ask your partner what he thinks the reason is, as someone you know would give you some kind but honest feedback.

Even if this isn't the case, getting back in touch after 7+ years rarely works well - people have moved on with their lives.

Otherwise, focus on joining new social groups. Volunteer. Join a club. Anything other than sitting in with your cat, that's one certain way not to make any friends!

They were never your friends, time to organise some fun weekends and make new friends op. You won't achieve that by sitting at home. Choose a lifestyle that works well for you and gives you a sense of excitement or happiness.

Time to move on and leave the past behind. Count your blessings and your new chapter and be glad you no longer have vacuous useless friends and have many chances now to enjoy a happy life with your dp.

Thanks so much. I've joined the gym recently so maybe something will turn up with that. Also hoping to start night class in Sept.

I'm 37 now so find it difficult to get my friends or sister out now as they all have families and partners who are off at weekends.

I usually have one of my friends over or me to them for food an drinks every month or so.

Get out there and try new things 😁 I've met friends from exercise classes and book club.

Yes I was very difficult at times. I think I ended up having a nervous breakdown if I'm honest. I was in a lot of pain and I do feel they ignored this.

I have Dyslexia and Dyspraxia. My sister thinks I have Aspergers too but only slight.

I've demonstrated really really difficult behaviour with my partner and he's still here as he can see past it.

Thanks for your advice xxxx

Thanks very much. I'm nervous going along to these places alone. But suppose my life isn't going to change if I don't make the effort xxxx

Thank you very much. Feel lots better xx