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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is this in my head?

11 replies

AmiCrazy11 · 24/05/2022 10:23

named changed for this.
I don’t know if it’s in my head or not.
Been with my partner for 8 years, recently his brother met someone who’s been with her a year now. But I have this feeling my partner has feelings for her or just respects her far more than he has ever done me.
Since meeting her he’s changed towards me in a massive way he puts me down all the time saying I’m a terrible mum, he compares to me to her all the time saying she’s a nicer person than me, she’s better than me she’s got a better job she has more about her than me…Tells me I’m jealous of her (I’m not) He invited her over to our house with his mum, fine but then she verbally attacked me saying that my eldest child doesn’t have autism I’m making it up (again I’m not he does have it he’s been diagnosed) saying it’s my fault cos I have mental health starting calling me names putting me down id not long had a baby either so she called me fat and pathetic. He did nothing to defend me at all and told me i was wrong for asking her to leave. He has a child from a pervious relationship he told me today that he as in his son was rude for not wanting to talk to her and i said well i dont blame him when she talks to him she goes on like his mother and constantly tells him how horrible and naughty he is. (hes 13 so has his own mind) she also accused him of theft he didnt do it. but again he defended her and told me to fuck off its his son and shes innocent and again told me how I was a nasty person and was just jealous of her, told me if I didn’t fix up and stop being horrible to her he would leave me. And that’s just some of the things that’s happened I could go on.
anyway he clearly doesn’t love me anymore does he? Or value me as a person, this isn’t really to do with her it’s more the way he his towards me but clearly he has something for her right?

OP posts:
winepleasenotwhine · 24/05/2022 10:31

Forget about whether he has something for her and stop and think if the way he is treating you is the example you want to set your kids. If it's not, then change it (eg stop accepting behaviour). If he doesn't change his behaviour, you need to decide what you need to do to set the right example for your kids.

winepleasenotwhine · 24/05/2022 10:32

I say for your kids because often we think things will get better but instead take the advice you'd give your children

AmiCrazy11 · 24/05/2022 10:42

@winepleasenotwhine you’re so right I need to leave him I’ve wanted to for a while I just need to get things sorted first

OP posts:
ChickensandCows · 24/05/2022 10:55

Wow have a massive LTB from me and tell her to fuck off next time she's around. She wouldn't be allowed in the same place as me after that outburst.

MistyGreenAndBlue · 24/05/2022 11:04

Sounds like he's already sleeping with her to me. She's using his voice when she attacks you, suggesting he's been complaining about you to her to get sympathy. And she's eating it up.

Sorry.
Get rid. They deserve each other but I suspect, once he's free, she'll run a mile. Serve him right too.

MistyGreenAndBlue · 24/05/2022 11:06

Her acting like she's his son's mum is another hint as to them being in a relationship on the sly.
She's not too bright is she?

10HailMarys · 24/05/2022 11:12

Frankly, you should leave this man whether he fancies his brother's girlfriend or not, because he is being absolutely vile to you.

KellyJonesLeatherTrousers · 24/05/2022 11:49

Your DH is just awful, time to leave. And then you get rid of her at the same time, it’s a BOGOF deal!

ElenaSt · 24/05/2022 11:52

Regardless of whether he has the hots for her or not he's a nasty worthless piece of crap.

Justcallmebebes · 24/05/2022 11:55

I wouldn't have her in the house if she spoke to me like that or my DSS. Regardless of how she treats you though, your OH is the problem. He is vile to you so I would just leave them together. Sounds like they deserve each other. You deserve far better OP

AmiCrazy11 · 24/05/2022 13:51

Thank you everyone don’t worry I have every intention of leaving him. Just sorting finances out before hand. This was more for my own sanity like I wasn’t just imagining things but I agree it’s more him than her that I blame

OP posts:
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