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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

By asking him to delete a certain girl off Instagram

34 replies

Radandsad · 24/05/2022 05:49

So when I was 9 months pregnant with our child literally a day before I gave birth I caught him sending flirty texts to a young girl. I found out they had worked together, because I gave birth the next day I never had the time to really talk it out but I was heartbroken.

We split up but it was at the start of the pandemic so he was stuck with me. 6 months down the line a friend of friend saw a picture of him at her birthday party, looking pretty loved up. I cut all ties with him then and told him to get out. She told me they were just friends and the jokes were just banter. Around a year passed and he wanted to get back together, he told me he was working on himself etc.

The past year has been really different but again our mutual friend had seen a message from him to her that she screenshot. He told me it’s nothing like that, I told him he needed to delete her off social media as it’s disrespectful to me. He agreed but it’s just come back up and it turns out he hasn’t deleted her. He told me no one can tell him what to do, he said he can manage his own relationships and does the necessary for us?
In all honesty I’ve checked out once I discovered they were in touch but am I unreasonable to have asked him to delete her

OP posts:
bjjgirl · 24/05/2022 07:16

Save yourself years of insecurity by getting rid of him now, you deserve so so much better

Beachdreams962 · 24/05/2022 07:31

Almost exact same thing happened to me. Usual cliches (young girl, from work), I found out about messages and asked him to delete/block from social media. He did. I thought they’d stopped talking and tried to move on. When our baby was 6 months old I found out they’d just had a baby together (completely blindsided me). I obviously left him then. But my advice is absolutely do not take him back, you’re worth way more than that and you will never trust him again. So sorry this has happened to you because I know how hard it is, but it’s better than being stuck with a man with absolutely no respect for you or your child

PriestessofPing · 24/05/2022 07:34

I don’t think you’re unreasonable but you shouldn’t have had to ask. He’s clearly not done that much on himself if he is still sniffing around this young woman.

PriestessofPing · 24/05/2022 07:35

That much work on himself.

fyn · 24/05/2022 08:00

She’s 20 now but the start of the pandemic was over two years ago and they’d been talking before that, presumably it started when she was under 18.

lady725516 · 24/05/2022 10:05

How old is he?
He doesn't respect you or your child. Please split up with him, you deserve someone who loves and treats you right

RainCoffeeBook · 24/05/2022 10:20

Don't date shit men. Don't get back together with shit men.

Alcibiade · 24/05/2022 11:19

he can manage his own relationships and does the necessary for us?

Sounds like a total arsehole. Dump the bugger and move on. You deserve better.

Badger1970 · 24/05/2022 11:21

It's not his SM that's the issue, it's his cheating arse.

You're worth better than someone who is always looking over their shoulder "just in case".

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