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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Feeling lost after chemical pregnancy

19 replies

blueberry23 · 23/05/2022 20:51

IAB totally unreasonable as we've not been trying long but I feel it's never going to happen...

Background - breastfeeding my 16 month old. Only once during daylight hours and then probably latches on a few times each night (we cosleep very happily).

I'm so desperate for no2 now for many many reasons. We started trying 4 months ago and my luteal phase was 3/4 days (!!) so didn't catch at all. This month my luteal phase was longer and this morning on 8dpo I got a faint BFP. Three hours later the bleeding started and I got my period.

I understand it's going to be very difficult to sustain a pregnancy with a short luteal phase and even 8 days is way too short hence the chem preg. I just feel so sad I was absolutely elated when I saw that second line appeared and it felt so cruel to start bleeding just hours after.

Does anyone have any words of wisdom for me? Success stories? I feel like I spend two weeks each month wishing time away (the 2WW) and then the other two weeks obsessively pestering DH to dtd and peeing on ovulation sticks.

I don't want to stop bf but maybe I'll have to 😣

All and any advice welcome! Please be kind feeling fragile!

OP posts:

HippeePrincess · 23/05/2022 20:54

Honestly just stop testing at 8dpo, nothing good will come of it that early. Obsessing won’t change a thing, wait til your period is due and save yourself the heartache.

Original poster

blueberry23 · 23/05/2022 20:55

@HippeePrincess I did think this but tbh I've had suspicions that even if I could get pregnant my body may not sustain it and I would rather know it this keeps happening as it will all contribute towards my decision as to whether I stop breastfeeding or not.... I think knowledge is power?

OP posts:

Original poster

blueberry23 · 23/05/2022 20:56

Also - I have no idea when my period is due as my luteal phase was 3/4 days and now it's 7/8 last two months - all due to breastfeeding if I have researched correctly

OP posts:

orwellwasright · 23/05/2022 20:59

Sweetheart, I'm sorry you're feeling so low. It's horrible to have those hopes then nothing comes of it.

Do you know why you LP is so short? Was it like this with your first? It's hard to develop a decent womb lining with such a short LP so it might not be a good time for you right now.

Is it a breastfeeding/post baby thing do you think? In which case you might just need more time. Or you could talk to your GP about your cycles and see if anything will help.

jamapop · 23/05/2022 21:01

I got pregnant whilst breastfeeding. Unlike you I didn’t have a short luteal phase but my periods took longer to return - more like 18/19 months after both children.

It must be good news that your luteal phase is lengthening. From research I did at the time (I was so desperate for my periods to come back so we could start trying) it is almost always just time. Some women return to full fertility once away when their periods return but it can take longer (like me), and some start having periods again earlier but it takes a number of cycles for cycles to be long enough to actually get pregnant.
The average (breastfeeding) woman’s cycles return to normal between 1 and 2 years I recall so it’s very likely that your cycles will sort themselves out, breastfeeding or not, before too long.

Hope it works out sooner rather than later for you.

ThreeLittleDots · 23/05/2022 21:02

Talk to your GP, they may be able to supplement your luteal phase with progesterone, or refer you to gynae for the same

Tandora · 23/05/2022 21:06

so sorry to hear that OP 😢. TTC can be so stressful and heartbreaking. Four months is not that long - although I know it feels like forever when you are going through it. Was your luteal phase previously this short or is this a bf thing? I took 7 months to conceive my second (first was almost instantaneous)- I was also breastfeeding (much more frequently than it sounds you are) and was feeling like maybe I was going to have to stop. But then I got pregnant , and now have two gorgeous babies. Best advice I can give is try not to stress too much at this stage- it’s early days. I put so much pressure on myself and caused myself a lot of unnecessary misery and worry. Sometimes these things just take a bit of time xxx

jamapop · 23/05/2022 21:08

Do you know why you LP is so short? Was it like this with your first? It's hard to develop a decent womb lining with such a short LP so it might not be a good time for you right now. This is a very common thing to happen when you are breastfeeding and your periods return, it usually doesn’t last too long but it’s quite a normal thing for people in breastfeeding groups to spend their time discussing and agonising over! Apparently it’s most likely to affect those whose periods re-start earlier.

orwellwasright · 23/05/2022 21:10

jamapop · 23/05/2022 21:08

Thank you

And I suppose you'd only realise if you were trying for another.

Original poster

blueberry23 · 23/05/2022 21:42

Yes definitely breastfeeding related. My cycles were fine before my first was born.

Thank you everyone for some lovely and kind advice. I feel very empty this evening. My DH doesn't really understand why I'm upset. He says we haven't 'lost' anything - but I'm obviously hormonal and feeling negative. Tomorrow is a new day ❤️

OP posts:

Kerryw93 · 26/05/2022 14:24

Hey!
I am sorry i can't offer any advice but I had a chemical pregnancy last month and am now 5 weeks pregnant. There is light at the end of the tunnel. I am absolutely petrified it's going to happen again BUT every pregnancy is different. There is still hope darling ❤️ sending hugs your way! X

Original poster

blueberry23 · 31/05/2022 20:33

Guys

A week on from this post

I've just had a positive test on FRER. I have had a metallic taste in mouth and a headache for 24 hours.

I'm so confused - could I actually be pregnant despite the bleed?

OP posts:

geminibluez · 31/05/2022 20:34

I can't confirm exact ovulation so I could be anywhere from 13-16dpo I think.

Kerryw93 · 02/06/2022 19:49

@blueberry23 it only took me 23 days after chemical, so you absolutely could be pregnant again! Congratulations

DashboardConfessional · 02/06/2022 19:55

I had sex end of Feb, bled early March and then tested positive end of March so yes you can!

buckingmad · 02/06/2022 20:12

Could the bleed have been implantation bleeding?

Tandora · 02/06/2022 21:21

It’s possible OP 🙌🏻🙌🏻. Lots of people have bleeding in the early days/ weeks and go on to have a viable pregnancy. On the other hand that line looks a little faint for 13-16 dpo , so it’s possible you have some residual hormones but it’s not developing. (Sorry to add the negative side- just thought it’s good to be aware/ prepared for either outcome) xxx

geminibluez · 03/06/2022 06:40

Thanks everyone.

The lines are really dark now and I got a digital which confirmed too that I am pregnant.

I can NOT believe it. I had what I deem to be a normal period and we haven't had sex since. Mine is blown!

A little worried about the bleed but will wait for the scan with fingers crossed. I'm 5 weeks :-)

marijammmm · 05/09/2022 08:55

Hi, I am sorry for being a pain here. But I got 3 faint lines on FRER and BFN on CB on 28+1. Today I am on 28+2 and got period like cramps and a very very light bleeding. Pictures below. I am so worried as to what is going on .. is this a pregnancy starting or a MSC? I had some strong cramps on 11-14DPO days and some nausea and breast tenderness. Then it all stopped around 28 and 28+1. And this morning I got period like cramps and that very light bleeding. Can anyone please help… hopes raised up but now dipped completely

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