To be terrified of flying

[Twostep22]

To say I'm not good on planes is an understatement. I go away in a few weeks and I'm so anxious. This is my DCs first holiday ,(we went away when she was tiny but this was pre covid and she doesnt remember) and I don't want to make her worried. Has anyone got any tips that could help me?

I read a book by someone who runs courses on overcoming fear of flying. I think it was called Flying with confidence. It really helped me feel better by going through all the various ways that planes are safe - like how far they can glide even with complete engine failure. It also talked through what to expect and what various noises mean, which made me more reassured all was well. I still don’t enjoy flying, but I find it better than I did. I know other people have found guided relaxation techniques helpful too.

I don’t know if this would help, but I used to take a beta blocker when I had to do music exams.
I used to find them terrifying but the beta blocker worked well.
The doctor was happy to give a me a prescription for them as I don’t think they are addictive.
The thing about fear of flying is that you not only have the flight to wherever you’re going but once you get there then you start dreading the flight home!

If you are prepared to spend some money (from £79.99), British Airways do a course that is apparently very good. online.flyingwithconfidence.com/

@Andante57 yup this is me all over by the second day worrying about it again. I wonder if anyone actually enjoys it (apart from pilot and cabin crew ) or do the majority off people just tolerate it ?

I used to get a few Valium from the Dr and take one in the departure lounge so it kicks in just as you get on the plane. They are amazing, but maybe not the right answer for everyone. Depends how scared you are, I guess. It does of course make you a bit spaced out but not out of control of yourself. I would usually fall asleep and let my husband deal with the kids 😬

Strangely, the last time I flew, which was April, I didn’t feel I needed to take any. I found the take-off a bit scary still, but nowhere near as bad as I used to find it. Maybe the long break from it in the pandemic helped.

I hope you find a way to manage this that works for you. It’s so worth it to have lovely trips away with loved ones. Good luck!

Of course some people enjoy it! I absolutely love flying. I’ve had flying lessons too.
obviously I can’t help, sorry! But there are loads of people who like flying so I really don’t think the majority of people just tolerate it.

Twostep I think it varies.
We had a grim time recently when the travel agent made an error and long story short, we had to fly a day later than planned. That was really stressful and also I find the drive to the airport makes me tense in case we’re held up, and recently, making sure we’ve got all the correct covid paperwork is stressful.

However, that’s quite different to fear of flying. Personally I quite enjoy it. I make sure I have something downloaded on my iPad and a book on my kindle and I find it relaxing.
Have a look at Flight Radar. There are thousands and thousands of planes in the air at any given moment and the chances of them not reaching their destination are vanishingly small.

Thank you for all replies will try to take some of the suggestions given

Definitely get some Diazepam from the GP. It’s a game changer. You will be sleepy so you will need some lone to be on the ball with your DC. (Having said that I’ve also become phobic for various reasons and am currently not flying myself but it helps loads of people I know!) Hope you have a lovely time.

Definitely try one of those fear of flying courses if you can afford it. My ex went on one as he just would not get on a plane and the next thing we were off on holiday as it really changed his mindset.

I hate flying myself but I'm one of those that just tolerate it as I wouldn't have missed travelling the world for a bit of fear.

Before you can fix it you need to work out what bothers you about it, and tackle the root cause. Lots of people fear crashes or don't like the feel of take off/landing and medication or fear of flying therapy can help. I can't fly because I'm autism and I can't manage the unexpected movement - for the same reason I cannot be a passenger in a car, it's not something I have been able to solve so I just accept I won't be flying anywhere.

My DH has tried prescribed medication, and hypnosis; neither helped. I'm thinking of booking a course offered by one of the plane companies to see if that helps. I've heard good things so hopefully itll help!

I'm autistic

I'm not autism - all of it

Watch the cabin crew carefully. How do they seem? Calm, relaxed, busy during service? Maybe a bit bored afterwards? if there was an issue, the crew would know about it. If they are getting on with their jobs as normal, it’s just another day at the office for them and you can relax, too. Because there is absolutely nothing to worry about.

Diazepam!

Aw OP have been there - it's horrid. If it helps it seems to go through phases:

Fine as a child/teen
Hated it in 20s and 30s
Became resigned to it in 40s
Now in 50s - almost (not quite) look forward to it

I have had Valium for shortish flights (5 hours or less) and that worked (though tired on arrival)
Doctors are understanding and will give you only what's needed - I was given two tablets for outbound flight and two for inbound
What has really helped recently is Headspace and doing some breathing techniques too - they have a fear of flying bit there too (really helpful if do a few weeks before flight and get familiar with techniques)

I love flying.

If you get in a car / on a bus / on a train there’s more chance of you having a serious accident in one of those and yet we still do it otherwise we’d never have much of a life. You have to risk a little to live a little.