DH and I have 2 DS 13 and 11. The atmosphere at the house is toxic. I have no friends or family to talk to about this. This weekend has resulted in another row with DH as he’s been moody, snapping at DS at me and when I ask what’s wrong he says nothing. I try to have a conversation with him and he just puts headphones in or walks away.
I haven’t done anything to him and any time he doesn’t have his crutch of choice he’s a nightmare to live with. He pays the rent on the property and he has a shift job which means I can’t fully do my job bc of childcare. He could change his hours but won’t. Anytime there’s a disagreement it’s “ who pays the rent” He always spins every argument round to be me or my fault. In recent months he’s had me by the throat (drunk) I’ve asked him to stop drinking but he doesn’t so I’ve got to go upstairs or out the house. called me a b in front of boys for coming in our room to do laundry while he “was sleeping” ripping light shades down when I said I wouldn’t leave the room as it’s my room too, Moans at me for coming in my room to get dressed, I’ve been sleeping on the sofa for the past few years as I can’t sleep in the same bed as him.
Thing is he’s a great guy a lot of the time but never owns up to his own actions and will never talk about things rationally to try and resolve them. Honestly feel so stuck. He just shuts down and I’m left feeling frustrated that I haven’t done anything wrong and being treated this way. If he hates me this much then why would he stay? I don’t want my kids around that kind of nastiness.