To think I'm being pushed out (long sorry)

[denbigh]

Background- I work for a design and build company, very well known.. in C London, joined about 7 months ago.
The department I joined was a mess, complete shambles, I was employed as an Estimator, ended up project managing, and so far.. it's gone well, the projects have few bumps but overall a turnaround from what I walked into.
There is a senior director there who has never warmed to me. Hes only ever spoken to me regarding the problems my department had and at one point did actually say X department is a pile of shit, (it was back then) but as I said has improved.
In January I lost a parent, work were fully aware, before the memorial service (a week after the passing) I attended work for 3 days.
On the 3rd day I was overwhelmed with emotion, at end of day I went to my car and had a solid 15 minute crying session.
At some point Director get in car next to me, so he witnessed this for at least 5mins
I drove off,I was a bit embarrassed that he had seen me.
The next morning I received an email at 6am.
The tone of the email was anger and annoyance at a project which I had no involvement with except to order in materials which were pending delivery.
He stated that the quality of my department was poor and said to my immediate boss. We should just get another company in to sort it and all the xxx department jobs.
Technically, that means I would effectively have no job.
I was on the 1st day of bereavement leave. I cannot explain how upset this made me.
Especially seeing as he had seen me in full breakdown mode less than 12 hrs ago!
Fast forward to May, everything is going well, jobs getting done.
There was a meeting for all the PMs, I wasn't invited but my PM was.
He couldn't make it as there are only 2 of us we get pushed for time. All other departments have at least 4 PM and Estimator.
Following the meeting a number of the other PMs said he had been very annoyed by the fact my department wasn't at the meeting, and had then announced he wa going to shut the department down.
I feel it's so unprofessional to say that to the other PMs and not us, but at no point have I received any advice, any feedback, good or bad.
Now I feel my job is in jeopardy and I'm not being told ..
The company are brutal with their staff, I've seen a huge turnaround already.
I feel .. bullied and victimized. No one has asked to speak to me with regard to my work, I have started to look for another job, but I really want to confront him and my boss, my immediate boss is scared of this Director, I've seen him bowing and scraping around him. I won't do that, he doesn't scare me I'm 46 I've worked with much scarier people. I want him to know I find him rude, unprofessional and following his email in January ..I think hes a nasty person. Would IBU to ask for a meeting and raise the issues above? Or should I just leave quietly, which is not in my nature. I feel I'm being pushed out of a job I'm good at. I should add I'm the only female PM and I'm of Indian origin, the other PMs are almost all white British males.
Thanks for reading. It felt good to get this out.

Your work situation sounds awful so I'm pleased you're looking for a new job.

Frankly, tempting as it must be, I think you would be wasting your breath to tell this director what you think of him.

Your professional sphere are probably aware of the situation at your company - small worlds and all that.

All the best op, not sure what's the best option I guess a list of the advantage and disadvantages of doing x, may help ?

I'd find the new job first. It seems like the kind of industry where reputation is everything. If you want a decent job it would be better to do it before he bad mouths you sadly. Alternatively you could look at the discrimination route - but likely that is just going to harm your reputation futher.

Good luck on getting out.

Sorry this is happening. His behaviour has been awful.

If I was you I’d make a dated list of what he did when, what the impact on you has been, and go see an employment lawyer to discuss the possibility of suing him for bullying and constructive dismissal, possibly claims for racism and sexism too. Seems to you’d have a strong case.

I think it’s fine to tell him but do it after you’ve got another job and after you’ve a reference you need.

OP I’m so sorry for your loss. They sound absolutely awful. I would focus all your energy on finding a new job and just go from there. That bully person sounds too far gone and they will never change. Don’t waste more of your time and headspace on that piece of shit

Find a new job, then say what needs saying. Say it before you tell him you have a new job though!!

In my experience UK is a racist work place for women that are not white in high positions.
However, it could be your age.
Men don't like older women.
So gender, race and age is probably against you.
If this is a family owned business just walk away. No one will fight your corner.
Work for a large reputable company that isn't owned by a small number of people.

Hi, so glad its not in my head, he is a piece of shit.
I may say something at my exit interview, assuming that I get one.
I have massive anxiety issues, I've been on meds for the past 8 years, since I decided to leave I feel much better.
I am interested to see if I can legally use the company @Lavenderlast I feel it is my sex and race that is the problem, its definitely not my work.
I never thought I would be in this position, I always thought if I worked hard and got the results I would be able to do whatever I wanted to in my career.
I don't want to stay in the company, I know that. I just feel I'm being forced to leave rather than it being my choice 😑

Who is your Head of Department? Criticising the department directly affects them rather than you.
Do you report to the PM? Criticism about not attending is based on them not you, because you were not invited.
Why does your team have 2 of you if the norm is 4?
Is the Director part of your line management? (And are you quite sure he was aware of the bereavement? And did he definitely know who you were in the car park?)

I don't doubt it's a difficult environment, but it does look like you're absorbing all criticism and making it about yourself. It's possible that he perceives you to be a junior and the comments are based on others who are supposed to actually run the department. Clearly they aren't doing a good job, because as you say yourself it's a mess and you're struggling to fix all the issues due to being short-staffed. The best initial approach (while looking for another job) is to meet with your line manager and document issues raised about the department, as well as that you're uncomfortable with the aggressive tone / atmosphere. Give them a chance to follow up.

@MRex I'm technically the Head of my Department,

He definitely did see me in the car park
And he definitely knew I was on bereavement leave
I have asked for other staff, and I have interviewed someone, however, my direct manager has been disengaged with the process.. that's not like him, hes normally very attentive to what we do, however since the meeting I wasn't invited to and to which my colleague couldn't attend (sent apologies prior to the day) since then.. its been very quiet.

Please tell him what you think of him when you’ve got another job. I wish I was able to do this, I can stand up for myself, but hate confrontation. This man needs taking down a peg or two and be told some home truths.

On the face of it you might have a case for discrimination. Call Acas and talk to one of their conciliators. They are great listeners.

If it's a biggish company and you are sure you want to leave, going into 'early conciliation' could secure a few months and agreed reference now. (Not that the company size is everything, just that HR will manage the process and should always be open to a mutually agreed exit).

You might want to put a grievance in but honestly this can be horrible and why be around for it? A grievance can be submitted in parallel with conciliation in some circumstances.

As a competent woman in the construction industry, you’ll be making lots of male arseholes feel very uncomfortable.

That's useful clarification, apologies as you'd said you were an estimator doing some PM.
I'm a bit confused why you didn't attend this big meeting if your PM couldn't, or didn't chat with him about it to give a heads-up.
Given your role, I'd start by getting the metrics sorted. What was the status in the 12 months before you joined, what's the status now, show the improvement. Add in what the major blocks are on progress, and it's fine to add "troublesome communication with X dept" to make the Director. Then sit with your direct manager and talk it through; be really blunt: you've come into some crap and been fixing it, but you're not being supported to finish the job, what are the next steps? Then wait silently.
Calling ACAS is a good idea too, but you need to show you've followed some kind of line management steps before jumping into HR procedures.

That's really useful advice above, thanks .. .I will get the figures done from.last year to this year, then I will speak to Acas.. and finally my immediate boss

Hi great advice here nothing to add support for you, these things are so toxic and in all organisations unfortunately

Just a final heads up.. I've checked last years profits against my own and I'm up by a substantial amount. None of my jobs have fallen below the critical margin point, they are all healthy.

Much of the same snide comments and attitudes this week, I can only surmise it's me they have the problem with because the figures speak for themselves, I e saved all the information so i have access should I need.
I will wait to see how my interviews go and what work will do next. Even for dismissal they have to go through a process, I'm armed now, will wait and see. It's just so disappointing I have to do this.
Thanks for the help and support

It's great to have that evidence, and to have a personal copy (anonymise for data protection if there is anything, before you remove from the company machine). Now the figures are good; can you compare with overall company performance and any other teams to show you are outperforming? Do you also have any email compliments from anyone else that you can use, or repeat business to highlight? Anyone you expect to be positive only, can you ask them personally for feedback on your work for performance purposes? Depending on your specific area, can you point to (and/or quickly start) any future project plans e.g. collaborating with your company's net zero teams.

Have you thought any more about roping in / making this your direct line manager's issue? If they want to get rid of you too then your figures will show them clearly that you will fight against any performance allegations, whereas if they want to keep you then you have similarly armed them. Good luck and let us know how it goes.

Got the email today, a meeting to discuss the "quality " of the work.
Will ring acas 1st to get advice. If they have already decided to close department I would expect them to cite problems that occurred weeks ago.
To justify closing the department, the issues will be from 3 weeks onwards.
It's so cowardly, close the department, but be honest, the issues they have raised are all negligible and have just cause.
Feel so crap

Sorry to hear that. Get the advice, but presenting your stats to show improvement will at least help your case for being paid out. Good luck!