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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Your cooking is "edible"

54 replies

Rahoode · 22/05/2022 20:29

This evening I made Enchiladas for tea.

I was cooking in between tending to the baby and two pre schoolers so I forgot to add the seasoning sachet to the sauce. It was no big deal, you just sprinkle the seasoning on afterwards and it taste exactly how it was supposed to.

I sat down with OH to eat and asked him how his food was, his reply was a disappointed "Errrrrr.. it's edible" making it clear he was unimpressed.

There was nothing wrong with the food it was perfectly nice and taste the same as every other time we've had it, it just so happens that he knew the seasoning was added later on and not in with the sauce and IMO wanted to make a big deal of a single mistake.

Even if somebodies cooking is awful I would always say "it's nice, thanks" and not be so rude.

I have a cracking headache so may be feeling more grouchy than I usually would.

AIBU to think he was being rude?

OP posts:
aprofoundhistoricalnovalty · 22/05/2022 21:40

If someone has cooked you a meal, then you eat it without complaining.

I do all the cooking- DH can't even boil the proverbial egg. he's not a knob, we have a fair distribution of labour. He will,if I specifically ask,say if something isn't as nice as usual- but he never complains. He even ate vegan butter bean bake without complaint (it was truly revolting 🤢)

If this is what your DH is like,then let it go. Perhaps it wasn't up to your normal standards- if on the other hand, he's just moaning and complaining for no reason- then he cooks his own meals, until you think he has learned his lesson!

TheHateIsNotGood · 22/05/2022 21:40

He was just being honest, after all the best we can ask for is that food is edible, if that is met, then job done. He's working nights and you're caring for the babies - at least you speak words and don't just grunt at each other.

Much as I would be grateful for any food placed before me - if I was to recreate packet enchiladas, adding the packet seasoning as an afterthought sprinkled on top - if I was hungry enough to eat it, I woul describe it as "edible" at best.

Sometimes it might be best just to grunt at each other..

Lilbunnyfufu · 22/05/2022 21:42

TomPinch · 22/05/2022 21:35

If my family don't like what I've cooked them I prefer them to tell me so.

Same here I much prefer to be told if they don't like what I cooked so I don't waste my time cooking food that's not liked.

PlacidPenelope · 22/05/2022 21:42

I ask my husband if his food is alright, one reason being that I am vegetarian and he isn't, another reason being that sometimes I do something different to a standard recipe and would like to know if he likes it/doesn't like it, if I've done something too out there he will very politely tell me, mostly he just tells me it's delicious AND he thanks me, and means it, for every meal I prepare for him even if it is just shoving a pizza in the oven, as I do likewise to him it's just basic manners and appreciation.

AdoraBell · 22/05/2022 21:43

YANBU

As he lacks the basic social niceties how does get away with being rude at work?

TimeForGouter · 22/05/2022 21:47

I once told DH the food he cooked was inedible. I feel really bad about it after reading this thread!

toastofthetown · 22/05/2022 21:48

Rahoode · 22/05/2022 21:38

Would you take it well though? If you'd been rushed off your feet all day tending to small children and had a bad headache to boot?

Show quote history

Then why did you ask what he thought? It wasn't an unsolicited remark on your food. If I'd made a change in how I prepared something, I'd ask for feedback and want it honestly. That's not mutually exclusive with thanking you for cooking, but if someone asks me what I think of something, I assume they want to know.

RibNSaucyArseCrack · 22/05/2022 21:49

He is not trained in the ways.

my husband is an award winning chef.

i have literally served him burnt, inedible food and he acts like its the greatest thing he’s ever tasted 🤣

think he’s just grateful to not be the one cooking for a change!

TomPinch · 22/05/2022 21:50

Rahoode · 22/05/2022 21:38

Would you take it well though? If you'd been rushed off your feet all day tending to small children and had a bad headache to boot?

Show quote history

There have been quite a few occasions when I've said "sorry I spoiled the dinner - I'm a bit knackered."

There were probably other occasions when someone was being fussy, and I might have got a bit more arsey then but I tried to keep it to a minimum.

InstaHun88 · 22/05/2022 21:52

I'm not sure, I have a relative whose food is...edible. She doesn't have the patience to cook, gets distracted, and one of the things she frequently does is forget the seasoning. She insists on making elaborate stuff and it always comes out...edible. What you described reminds of that. Seasoning is meant to go in the sauce, not on top, and what you describe sounds "edible". Don't make such an involved recipe if you're busy.

Summersolargirl · 22/05/2022 21:54

I’ve no issue with someone being honest about my cooking, a few times I’ve cooked and my family are like yeah that’s not good. It’s met with amusement and said with amusement, I can’t get het up about it. I’m also honest when my husband cooks and it’s shite, I will say that’s a bit shite and get something else. Neither of us get upset about it. Eveyone has different tastes.

just tell him he’s to say it’s lovely.

Original poster
Rahoode · 22/05/2022 21:56

AdoraBell · 22/05/2022 21:43

YANBU

As he lacks the basic social niceties how does get away with being rude at work?

He's never rude enough to get him into bother, but I'm sure some colleagues will have raised an eyebrow from time to time.

We used to work together many moons ago and there were times I inwardly cringed at the way he responded to some colleagues.

OP posts:
Jules912 · 22/05/2022 21:59

I'm a terrible cook so I'd take edible as a compliment. DH is much better but sometimes has to work late so I end up cooking. I used to always think you should say thanks it's great whenever anyone cooked to you until the third or fourth time DH cooked me something I didn't like ( nothing against his cooking, just something I didn't like the taste of) because I'd been too polite to tell him.

Original poster
Rahoode · 22/05/2022 22:00

Points taken on board about answering honestly if something isn't to your liking.

I do get that.

In this case I can't help but feel it was an unnecessary dig and he wanted to express his inconvenience/annoyance at my mistake.

He knew I was annoyed with myself for making the mistake with the seasoning, he knew I'd had a long day and had a bad headache (along with a flare up of gastritis from taking bloody ibuprofen)

If the roles were reversed I would've definitely just let it go and said "nice, thanks!"

I could have just not bothered cooking, citing all of the above, and told him to throw a pizza in the oven. I wish I had done just that in hindsight.

OP posts:
Original poster
Rahoode · 22/05/2022 22:00

TimeForGouter · 22/05/2022 21:47

I once told DH the food he cooked was inedible. I feel really bad about it after reading this thread!

😂

What was his response?

OP posts:
Summersolargirl · 22/05/2022 22:03

Rahoode · 22/05/2022 21:56

He's never rude enough to get him into bother, but I'm sure some colleagues will have raised an eyebrow from time to time.

We used to work together many moons ago and there were times I inwardly cringed at the way he responded to some colleagues.

Show quote history

But not enough it stopped you being with him? You must have thought he was something if you married him and has kids with him? Three of them? So it can’t have been that bad? Else you’d not have done that?

the thing is fajita seasoning is not supposed to be sprinkled on top, I understand you found it delicious done like that, but he didn’t, and said so.

I think maybe just tell him that you expect him to say it’s lovely irrelevant of if he likes it or not, then he’s no excuse.

Original poster
Rahoode · 22/05/2022 22:04

Summersolargirl · 22/05/2022 21:54

I’ve no issue with someone being honest about my cooking, a few times I’ve cooked and my family are like yeah that’s not good. It’s met with amusement and said with amusement, I can’t get het up about it. I’m also honest when my husband cooks and it’s shite, I will say that’s a bit shite and get something else. Neither of us get upset about it. Eveyone has different tastes.

just tell him he’s to say it’s lovely.

You know, if he'd said it with amusement I'm certain I would've taken it better. I might have even laughed myself.

I think my gripe is because he was making it clear he was ungrateful / annoyed, it's all in the tone of voice isn't it?

OP posts:
SlightlyGeordieJohn · 22/05/2022 22:05

ShirleyPhallus · 22/05/2022 21:21

But you were fishing for compliments - because you asked him if he was enjoying his food, he was honest and you didn’t like that answer.

If you think it was delicious why ask him? You’ll only be disappointed with the answer if it isn’t what you want to hear.

If, on the other hand, this is part of a significantly bigger issue where he’s always rude and ungrateful then that’s a separate thing.

Show quote history

People taste things differently. The fact that the OP can’t tell the difference between adding the seasoning at the end and earlier suggests she may just not notice differences that others would.

I always ask my wife for feedback and want her to be honest. If something was just OK I’d want to know.

Asking for feedback then getting upset by it is childish and unreasonable.

Original poster
Rahoode · 22/05/2022 22:06

Summersolargirl · 22/05/2022 22:03

But not enough it stopped you being with him? You must have thought he was something if you married him and has kids with him? Three of them? So it can’t have been that bad? Else you’d not have done that?

the thing is fajita seasoning is not supposed to be sprinkled on top, I understand you found it delicious done like that, but he didn’t, and said so.

I think maybe just tell him that you expect him to say it’s lovely irrelevant of if he likes it or not, then he’s no excuse.

Show quote history

Of course he has dozens of redeeming qualities, he's not a rude arse 24-7.

OP posts:
Original poster
Rahoode · 22/05/2022 22:07

SlightlyGeordieJohn · 22/05/2022 22:05

People taste things differently. The fact that the OP can’t tell the difference between adding the seasoning at the end and earlier suggests she may just not notice differences that others would.

I always ask my wife for feedback and want her to be honest. If something was just OK I’d want to know.

Asking for feedback then getting upset by it is childish and unreasonable.

Show quote history

I'll take unreasonable as its AIBU but childish, really?

OP posts:
TomPinch · 22/05/2022 22:07

Jules912 · 22/05/2022 21:59

I'm a terrible cook so I'd take edible as a compliment. DH is much better but sometimes has to work late so I end up cooking. I used to always think you should say thanks it's great whenever anyone cooked to you until the third or fourth time DH cooked me something I didn't like ( nothing against his cooking, just something I didn't like the taste of) because I'd been too polite to tell him.

Cooking is one of the ways I show affection for my family. I'd be a bit mortified if after the fourth time I made something they said they didn't like it after all after previously saying they did. Perhaps mortified is putting it strongly, bit something akin to that.

SlightlyGeordieJohn · 22/05/2022 22:12

Rahoode · 22/05/2022 22:07

I'll take unreasonable as its AIBU but childish, really?

Show quote history

OK, sorry, and it’s just a bit unreasonable.

MiddleParking · 22/05/2022 22:13

Yeah I don’t mind feedback from my husband on a new dinner (or sometimes he’ll give me a cooking tip if I ask ‘why doesn’t this taste right?!’) and I find it a bit annoying when he asks how his cooking is when I’m trying to eat it in peace, but I’m always polite and grateful, responding ‘er, it’s edible’ is rude and pathetic. The ‘er’ would annoy me as much as the ‘edible’.

IcakethereforeIam · 22/05/2022 22:20

I'm not the world's best cook but I think I'm okay. My fella can't cook for toffee, he once burned waterConfused set the smoke alarm off. However, he thinks he can give me advice on cooking and it really pisses me off. Now,, if he asks what's for tea, I won't tell him. He can have what he's given and be bloody grateful for it.
I think if someone has gone to the trouble of cooking for you, you should be bloody grateful. So, in conclusion, YANBU!

billy1966 · 22/05/2022 22:22

Honestly OP, I wouldn't bother getting upset or into it.

I would feed the children and start telling him to sort himself.

I'd be damned after running around all day after 3 children, would I spend time cooking for meh....my arse.

My husband has been given soup and told to make toast with it when my children were small and I never got anything other than thanks for that.

We teach people how to treat us.

You need to pull back from doing so much if his response is meh.

CF.

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