I'm getting married soon. I planned to have two bridesmaids (a friend I've known since we were in primary school and my old uni housemate, who's also very close) but I felt pressured into choosing a third friend when she told me outright she'd feel hurt and offended if I didn't ask her. Yes, I know this was a stupid move on my part. She'd have got over it. Unfortunately I'm useless at handling confrontation unless I know it's coming and I can plan what to say. I'll call this friend Lucy.
None of these three know each other, but Lucy has already decided she doesn't like my uni friend because of anecdotes I've shared. (Nothing bad, just little snippets like the fact uni friend is vegan, teaches yoga, used to be assistant to an MP in a party that Lucy doesn't support, etc.) Lucy told me that she was sure they wouldn't get on, and it's a "big ask" for me to choose them both as bridesmaids, but she was going to "be civil for my sake". (OK...just writing this I can see that I'm definitely not being unreasonable with this bit!)
I've had to push back against Lucy on a few things, such as when she invited one of her own friends without checking with me (someone I've only met once!). I told her she couldn't do that. She uninvited the extra guest but has told me a couple of times that I was "oversensitive" about it. Yesterday she was here for dinner, and it was the final straw - she started talking about my childhood friend, someone who lives on the other side of the globe in New Zealand, as though she's a personal friend of hers. It was, "I love her so much. She's such an amazing person. I can't wait," until I rather bemusedly pointed out the obvious - they've never met. She went silent for a bit and changed the subject. This made me worry that she's decided to latch onto childhood friend out of her irrational dislike for uni friend, either as a way to avoid her or to freeze her out or something. I don't know.
I'm thinking about either telling her I don't want her to be a bridesmaid (nuclear option and I think it would be a bit harsh considering I didn't put my foot down at the beginning) or organising the whole thing so that Lucy has very little to do other than stand there in the photos and I don't have to worry how she's going to behave with the other bridesmaids. I feel like she's muscling in and trying to take over. AIBU? My fiance thinks I might have interpreted the dinner conversation yesterday and maybe she's just looking forward to meeting someone she knows is important to me, but is it really normal to start announcing you "love" people you've never even spoken to?!