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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To view community events in my hometown with disdain?

45 replies

Oneborneverydecade · 22/05/2022 17:33

As an example Platinum Jubilee celebrations. If I know there's a for e.g. street party happening in our town centre I'll avoid it. I assume it's going to be rubbish. If I heard of a similar event in a nearby town I'd consider going. I just automatically assume it would be better - more fun, more variety, better organised.
For background I live in the large SE market town in which I was born 44 years ago. Never moved away. We'd like to move but tied bc of schools atm. It's not a bad place to live.
So is this a normal response, or are most people enjoying local events, be they Jubilee, Christmas, Easter etc?
AIBU?

OP posts:
Momicrone · 22/05/2022 17:35

I love a local event, I don't care about the quality!

PonyPatter44 · 22/05/2022 17:36

You'd consider going to a party in a neighbouring town, but not your own? How odd! Are you worried that people you know might see you enjoying yourself?

orwellwasright · 22/05/2022 17:38

I get it, OP. Perhaps we live in the same town 😄

100problems · 22/05/2022 17:41

Are you worried that people you know might see you enjoying yourself?

On the strength of the OP I'd say that's a vanishingly small probability.

Saucery · 22/05/2022 17:42

The Gala Day where I’ve lived for 25 years isn’t a patch on the Gala Day in my home town, but I know I’m seeing that through the rosy glow of being a child for much of the latter. But it’s still a bit crap Grin
It’s been Life Stage Dependent for me. I enjoyed the Christmas and Easter things when DS was little, but wouldn’t bother with them now. Things like the local steam railway too.
There was a lovely community feeling around during the Lockdowns but everyone’s drifting back to events in local pubs and centred around their specific school or club. None of which I am part of any more.

I like the more traditional church parades etc so yes, I’d be interested in that sort of thing elsewhere but not some thinly-veiled local piss-up down the football club.

MadMadMadamMim · 22/05/2022 17:43

That sounds a bit odd to be honest. It does sound like you've spent your whole life in a town you think is a bit shit and you look down on.

I'd suggest that the grass isn't always greener, and that often there are lovely areas to any town and community events are often great fun and show that other people do care about the place they live in and their neighbours.

Maybe give it a chance.

Original poster
Oneborneverydecade · 22/05/2022 17:46

I'm trying to decide if I'd rather not see people I know. I used to work in a customer facing role in a major supermarket, that and almost half a century in one place means that there are a LOT of familiar faces.
But I don't think it's only that.
@orwellwasright maybe we do ha

OP posts:
worraliberty · 22/05/2022 17:47

Yes YABU.

You sound like one of life's passengers who leaves the organising and planning up to other people, then sits back and criticises their efforts.

godmum56 · 22/05/2022 17:47

greener grass syndrome?

helpfulperson · 22/05/2022 17:47

If you don't think local events are good enough you could get involved in organising them better.

DDivaStar · 22/05/2022 17:48

Some towns have better events than others of course. However if more people made the effort to get involved or just attend the event its likely to be more enjoyable for all.

TonTonMacoute · 22/05/2022 17:49

100problems · 22/05/2022 17:41

Are you worried that people you know might see you enjoying yourself?

On the strength of the OP I'd say that's a vanishingly small probability.

🤣🤣🤣

Original poster
Oneborneverydecade · 22/05/2022 17:53

worraliberty · 22/05/2022 17:47

Yes YABU.

You sound like one of life's passengers who leaves the organising and planning up to other people, then sits back and criticises their efforts.

You're not wrong. Outside of my family I don't get involved in organising anything. I also don't criticise - I just avoid.

Don't most people think the town they grew up in is a bit shit though?

OP posts:
LemonMuffins · 22/05/2022 18:00

I currently live in what I think is a shit Berkshire town. I have a fondness for the north London suburb I grew up in though. I don't really feel at home here and the town center is currently dire so I don't relish local events. Other nearby towns and villages are more picturesque so I'd happily go there for a nosey at their street parties.

Ragwort · 22/05/2022 18:05

I love a local community event, I've moved around quite a bit but I really enjoy getting involved (& helping to organise) whatever is going on. I went to a local event last night and I just love meeting people I know ... I also work in retail so a lot of people recognise me (I like that Blush).

Last weekend I was back in the village I grew up in ... I left over 30 years ago but went to a community event and still recognised and chatted to a few familiar faces .. it was genuinely lovely.

BananaShrimp · 22/05/2022 18:05

Where I live they wouldn’t spend a lot of money on community events. Wouldn’t have a lot of money to spend I suppose! So it would be a bit crap for that reason. I’d be more likely to go to events in a nearby town where I know they have more funds and access to more grants, so the events would be better.

worraliberty · 22/05/2022 18:06

You're not wrong. Outside of my family I don't get involved in organising anything. I also don't criticise - I just avoid.

Eh? Is this not criticism? Confused

I just automatically assume it would be better - more fun, more variety, better organised.

Fairislefandango · 22/05/2022 18:10

Don't most people think the town they grew up in is a bit shit though?

No, I expect it depends on whether the town actually is a bit shit or not. A town isn't automatically shit just because you grew up there. On that basis literally all towns would be shit!

I grew up in a village. I haven't lived there since I was 22 (I'm 50). It's nice. They'd throw a lovely Jubilee event, if you like that sort of thing. I'm very much a republican, but I expect I'd set aside my principles for a cream tea and Pimms on the village green 😁

aaronsnorkelling · 22/05/2022 18:11

100problems · 22/05/2022 17:41

Are you worried that people you know might see you enjoying yourself?

On the strength of the OP I'd say that's a vanishingly small probability.

😂

Loopytiles · 22/05/2022 18:15

YANBU not to enjoy this stuff, but YABU to say you’d go to similar in another town! Unless perhaps not wanting to see certain local people is the thing putting you off.

ComtesseDeSpair · 22/05/2022 18:19

I can’t imagine choosing to live and staying somewhere that I felt such disdain about. So to me - no, it isn’t normal. But then, I’ve also left my hometown and lived in a number of other places: maybe it’s a more common attitude amongst those who haven’t. As much as you say you “can’t” leave for various reasons - what a waste of a life, to stay somewhere where you don’t want to be just for vague reasons about schooling - when there’s so much evidence which shows that overall success is about far more than that.

We’re not enormously fond of community events, we aren’t especially Royalists, but we live in a nice neighbourhood, we aren’t doing anything next Friday, and DP is our street’s token American who is gregarious and loves to run a bar and pour drinks. So we’re joining in, dishing out the Pimms, and we’ll have a brilliant time regardless.

coffeecupsandfairylights · 22/05/2022 18:21

Oneborneverydecade · 22/05/2022 17:53

You're not wrong. Outside of my family I don't get involved in organising anything. I also don't criticise - I just avoid.

Don't most people think the town they grew up in is a bit shit though?

Show quote history

No. I love the town I grew up in.

I love where I love now too.

Original poster
Oneborneverydecade · 22/05/2022 18:24

worraliberty · 22/05/2022 18:06

You're not wrong. Outside of my family I don't get involved in organising anything. I also don't criticise - I just avoid.

Eh? Is this not criticism? Confused

I just automatically assume it would be better - more fun, more variety, better organised.

Fair enough. I assumed you meant out loud to people who knew where I was talking about

OP posts:
RampantIvy · 22/05/2022 18:25

I also don't criticise

But you just have.

I liked where I grew up, but it has gone downhill a lot since I moved away. It has been in the news a few times recently, and all for negative and unpleasant reasons.

I support local events where I live now. We are having a beacon lit in our street for the jubilee.

Original poster
Oneborneverydecade · 22/05/2022 18:32

@ComtesseDeSpair to clarify I chose not to move DS away from his Dad, to facilitate their relationship. He unfortunately died since DS has been at secondary school. I don't think many parents would chose to move their kids mid GCSE study bc they thought their hometown and it's events were a bit rubbish? If I never move away I'll be disappointed, but for now it's far from the worst place to live

OP posts: