AIBU to claim child maintenance in this situation?

[TooBrigrs]

I’m close to having baby but got pregnant after feeling messed about by DP changing goal posts as go when to TTC. I came off the pill without saying, second guessed myself and went back on it, but by then it was too late and a few weeks later I found out I was pregnant. DP was shocked initially but said he wanted to carry on. I said I had been sloppy with my pill and that I shouldn’t have been. I asked him a lot if he wanted to abort up until 15 weeks, he always said no.

As it’s got closer to the birth, I am beginning to question the relationship. He’s been supportive and kind generally but he can also have huge mood swings which have altered my feelings a bit. Because of the context of the pregnancy, I feel like I shouldn’t have child maintenance if I now leave him. AIBU to take it? I’ve just looked at it and it’s 950 a month which obviously would help but seems huge.

£950 sounds a lot how much does he earn?

The money isn't for you it's for the child so yes I would claim it. Shitty thing you've done though but you know that. Good luck.

Of course you need maintenance, it's the child's !

You tricked him. It was obvious he wasn't sure about TTC, but you went ahead.
So morally, he should not. For the sake of the child though, he should

Is that £950 if you have the child 100% of the time and he never sees it? What if he wants 50/50?

Don’t make any big decisions about the future while you are heavily pregnant and hormonal or immediately post partum.

Yes you should claim child maintenance if you leave because child maintenance is for the child he says he wants.

The money isn't for you it's for the child so yes I would claim it. Shitty thing you've done though but you know that. Good luck.

Maintenance is a formulaic amount that may be a lot more or or a lot less than (half) of what is spent on the child. £950 would imply £1900 a month is being spent on the child, 23K a year, which is about the after-tax equivalent of one average salary. Not many children have the entire salary of an average working adult spent on them, for all 18 years of their childhood.

Of course you need maintenance, it's the child's !

It doesn't have to be £950 or nothing. She could also ask for any number between the two.

Probably having mood swings because you tricked him. YABU. I would be moody too.

How you became pregnant is a matter for your conscience. This is still his child, he has agreed he wants it, so yes he should support the child.

This. Maybe you should focus on repairing your relationship than how much money you can get from him. You need to build trust again.

A bit shocked people are more concerned about £950 per month rather than the father / child relationship. Bizarre

Yes claim maintenance. Any man who has sex runs the risk of pregnancy, birth control or not. And they should be prepared to step up to the plate financially and also by being involved Or just not have sex.

Typo…fixed the post

Yes claim maintenance. Any individual who has sex runs the risk of pregnancy, birth control or not. And they should be prepared to step up to the plate financially and also by being involved Or just not have sex.

What even if they were tricked into thinking their partner was on birth control? Strange morals.

I've seen people on here encourage women to stop taking the pill to get pregnant deliberately even when the man doesn't want kids yet. This does not surprise me.