AIBU to not buy gifts for most of my cousin's children?

[Greenbeanmcgee]

A friend was shocked that I don't but she has 7 first cousins and I have over 30 first cousins. Of my 30!first cousins about 3/4 have children and many of those have 4+ children(Religious family). It's just not doable.

I do give some of them money, the children that I'm close to but I have literally never set eyes on some of my other cousins' children even though some are 7 now.

AIBU and where do you draw the line?

Cousins' children that should read. Apologies for the typo.

YADNBU.

YANBU at all!

I don't give gifts to any cousin's children, you have to draw a line somewhere

I think I would have to stick to giving to none. I’d feel really awful if they found I’d bought for some of them but not for others.
all my nephews & nieces get the same spent on them, even the one I’ve never met because the mum split from DB in early pregnancy and returned to her country of birth!

Cousins’ children? Is she mad or loaded. I haven’t even met some of my cousins’ children.

We don’t do gifts out that far in our family. It would just get ridiculously excessive or people would have to buy such tiny token presents as to be ridiculous. Nieces and nephews is our line.

My ex has a large family with lots of cousins and when we all started having a few kids we decided not to buy for cousins anymore as there was too many so just stuck to siblings children

We don’t go beyond nephews and nieces here. And when I was little most of my aunts and uncles didn’t send us presents. Family is far flung and we meet up at most annually!

I don't even know my cousins. I think we lost touch shortly after my Dad died when I as quite young. My nieces are quite close to me in age so I did 18th presents jointly with a couple of siblings. My nephews I bought presents for until their 18ths. Only my sister bought for my children. I did buy a few presents for great nieces and nephews but DH put his foot down after a few years with no acknowledgement. Sent some money or a token for 18ths, though.

I'm the same as you @Greenbeanmcgee. I have 25 first cousin. Many of them had 4 or 5 children.
I don't know thier names, wouldn't recognise them in the street.

I come from a large religious family. There are so many people I am related to.

I've had this conversations with other people who have large families, but do you forget a lot of family's names and have a nickname for them?

My mum has about 40 cousins herself. One of them visited when I was a child, but I can never remember her name. I call her 'yellow fluffy jumper lady'. She wore a yellow fluffy jumper that shed fluff all over the house. We found yellow fluff for weeks.

I also have a number of Uncle Dickheads 😂

I couldn't tell you if all my cousins even have children. In fact I can't remember all my cousins' names.
We don't buy presents for nephews and nieces either apart from the couple who are still little children. Our family is far flung. We don't see them that often and I don't see the point in buying token presents for people I don't actually know that well, just because they share a percentage of DNA with me/DH. Nor do I expect them to buy for us. I guess in the days when people didn't move around so much and families lived close to each other, more people had close relationships with their extended family so it would be natural to buy them birthday and Christmas presents but I have friends and their children who I am far closer to than a lot of my relatives, and I don't think that's particularly unusual nowadays.

Why didn't you point out the difference to her. Why would you buy for some of them who are strangers to you.

I don't give gifts to my cousins let alone their children.

I stopped buying gifts for all friends and familys kids as it was getting ridiculous, now I'll buy something for a new baby but that's it!

Thanks all. I did point out to her that I have far more children to pay for than she does but even then I don't think people with only a few should have to buy their cousins' children gifts if they don't want to. It can quickly add up even with a few and as in my case, you may not even know them.

I'm relieved to see that this isn't the norm and that I'm not being mean.

I dont get my nieces or nephews anying- 5 in total,my siblings dont get mine anything (4 total) , we all feel the children have enough gifts on occassions so no need to add - not once have our kids even noticed either, its a non issue in our family.
I certainly dont get my cousins kids anything (3 total) I rarely see them.

You aren’t being remotely mean! I don’t buy for my cousins’ children and they don’t buy for mine - we so rarely see them and live 2 hours apart.

I think my children could identify maybe one of my cousins at a push, certainly not the rest.

minou123

I definitely have nicknames for extended family members and yes there might be an Uncle Dickhead or two. I'm glad that I'm not alone in that. I can't keep track of them. I worked in a family owned deli for a while and I'd regularly have random relatives appearing and announcing that they were related to me but most of the time I had no idea who they were.

I only have contact with one cousin and I've never met his children. Unless, I saw the children on a regular basis, I certainly wouldn't be buying for them.