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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Taking DC out of school for a holiday - how to tell them?

38 replies

BlueberryMeringue · 21/05/2022 11:22

Slight trepidation about this!

Do I just tell them and prepare for them to tell me that I’ve ruined his education, or do I email them after half term and pretend we were already on holiday and are stuck out there for another week?

TIA.

OP posts:
OwlinaTree · 21/05/2022 11:34

At my school you fill in a leave of absence request. Then you are told it will be unauthorized. I don't expect the school will tell you you've ruined his education.

You might get a fine if you've done it a lot.

Jellycatspyjamas · 21/05/2022 11:35

You email them saying x will be absent from school between this date and this date. No apology, request or explanation, unless you feel like giving an explanation.

TheMysteryLady · 21/05/2022 11:40

is it primary or secondary?

You need to contact the office and complete a form before you go. They will say it’s unauthorised but nothing they can do and a lot of people do it so don’t worry.

You should definitely tell them in advance though.

Hospedia · 21/05/2022 11:53

Don't lie about it. The truth will always come out and then it puts your DC in an awkward position and damages your reputation with school - why would they believe you next time DC is ill?

Be upfront about where/when you're going and why. If you have circumstances you would like them to consider then explain these (e.g., that's the only full week you can get off work, its a rescheduled holiday due to covid and you've had minimal control over dates, etc). They might authorise it, they might not but go anyway and have a lovely time.

Seaweasel · 21/05/2022 12:04

Just own it. Request the term time holiday form, fill it in and return it. Job done. It probably won't be authorised but so what? However, please don't expect the teacher to sort out extra catch-up work if applicable and don't be complaining if your DCs are behind in stuff when they get back Get together with another student and get them to tell your DCs what they've missed. Please don't lie about it. You must feel that this break is more important than school education at this time, or you wouldn't be going, so be confident in your decisions for your own kids.

Sirzy · 21/05/2022 12:06

No way would school believe you where stuck there for another week.

just let them know, fill in the form, it will be unauthorised. You may get a fine. Enjoy the holiday and don’t worry about it

Robostripes · 21/05/2022 12:15

We’re taking DS out two days early next week to go away for half term. DH emailed the school yesterday informing them. They replied saying we have to fill in a term time holiday request form. DH replied saying he wouldn’t be filling in the form as he wasn’t requesting, he was telling them! Honestly the form is ridiculous - includes the question “please explain why you cannot take holiday in the 13 weeks of school holiday your child already has” 🙄🙄

mumsiedarlingrevolta · 21/05/2022 12:19

Can't say without knowing how old DC are?

Seaweasel · 21/05/2022 12:19

Seems like a reasonable question, why not just tell them that these two days are better spent on holiday in your opinion?

Sirzy · 21/05/2022 12:20

I don’t see why that is an unreasonable question at all, seems very valid. You have made the choice to take that time off during term time.

Seaweasel · 21/05/2022 12:21

The question is to help the school work out if they can authorise the time off.

packedlunches · 21/05/2022 12:21

At my school I say I'm taking them on holiday and they reply saying have a nice time

Robostripes · 21/05/2022 12:27

The question is stupid because it says at the top of the form (and is emphasised at every opportunity by the school) that term time holiday will never be authorised. There’s already a separate question which asks you to give any exceptional circumstances (family funeral etc). I’m not expecting them to authorise it, I know they won’t, they know they won’t, so why ask parents to waste my time trying to justify it.

Seaweasel · 21/05/2022 12:34

So just write 'no reason'. Takes a second.

SkoolShoes · 21/05/2022 12:50

Seaweasel · 21/05/2022 12:34

So just write 'no reason'. Takes a second.

This is so irritating. We (as a school) then have to ask what the reason is! Medical - authorised. Opportunity to go to Dance World cup in Spain - authorised. Going to grandmother's funeral in Britanny - possibly some authorised (but the 2 weeks after probably not). Terminal aunts last minute wedding in Croatia - possible authorised. Authorisation can depend on age and if there could be some "other" reason (compassion etc) which may allow the school to authorise it.

2 weeks in tenerife - probably not. But give fucking details. Honestly!

Authorisation is by government rules. It is not schools being arsey.

But giving "no reason" is arsey beyond belief!

SkoolShoes · 21/05/2022 12:56

Robostripes · 21/05/2022 12:15

We’re taking DS out two days early next week to go away for half term. DH emailed the school yesterday informing them. They replied saying we have to fill in a term time holiday request form. DH replied saying he wouldn’t be filling in the form as he wasn’t requesting, he was telling them! Honestly the form is ridiculous - includes the question “please explain why you cannot take holiday in the 13 weeks of school holiday your child already has” 🙄🙄

Again - work with the school. They may try and make it authorised - if they can. If it fits the rules. Education is important. But other things are too. Being arsey with the school really doesn't gain you anything. They have to ask. a) so they can work out if they can authorise it and b) to make sure there are no safeguarding flags. "My child is not coming into school for 2 weeks". Ok Ms Shoes, please can you tell us why?". No.

OK. So is DCshoes on holiday? Having to care for an ill relative with no adult help? Being taken somewhere for FGM? Not at school as parents have left them alone while they fuck off on holiday? Parent in hospital for operation and no-one to take child to school?

Can you really not envisage schools have to know where children are when they are supposed to be at school?

Seaweasel · 21/05/2022 12:59

It wasn't meant to be arsey, perhaps I worded it badly, but for Robostripes who didn't have any extenuating circumstances and thought the form was stupid so wasn't going to fill it in, my thought was at least put 'no reason' if there is genuinely no reason other than that's when they've booked the holiday would be better than ignoring the form altogether or not answering.

Seaweasel · 21/05/2022 13:02

Presuming that they'd already told the school that they were taking the child on holiday. Obviously, you'd tell the school that (hopefully!)

Quartz2208 · 21/05/2022 13:03

PRimary or Secondary?

But simply fill out the form and say you are on holiday and dont be surprised if it comes back unauthorised

@Robostripes just fill in the form - it is then on record for when the attendance officer checks it. It saves them so much admin just fill in the dates and the fact that you are on holiday and it goes in the file.

Robostripes · 21/05/2022 13:05

@SkoolShoes of course I understand that schools need to know where children are - and I’ve told them that DS will not be on school because we’re going on holiday. What I object to is then being told I’ve got to make a “request” - no I don’t, I’m his parent, I don’t need to ask them to take him anywhere - and to try to justify why we’re going on holiday in term time, when we all know there isn’t a good justification and so the exercise is pointless. As someone upthread said - I’m owning the decision!

PriamFarrl · 21/05/2022 13:05

Robostripes · 21/05/2022 12:15

We’re taking DS out two days early next week to go away for half term. DH emailed the school yesterday informing them. They replied saying we have to fill in a term time holiday request form. DH replied saying he wouldn’t be filling in the form as he wasn’t requesting, he was telling them! Honestly the form is ridiculous - includes the question “please explain why you cannot take holiday in the 13 weeks of school holiday your child already has” 🙄🙄

That’s a completely valid question.
What do you think school staff do?

Quartz2208 · 21/05/2022 13:08

Robostripes · 21/05/2022 13:05

@SkoolShoes of course I understand that schools need to know where children are - and I’ve told them that DS will not be on school because we’re going on holiday. What I object to is then being told I’ve got to make a “request” - no I don’t, I’m his parent, I don’t need to ask them to take him anywhere - and to try to justify why we’re going on holiday in term time, when we all know there isn’t a good justification and so the exercise is pointless. As someone upthread said - I’m owning the decision!

Are you in the area for being fined as well? I never see filling in the form as a request for the time off just scope for it to be authorised. You are requesting to see if if it can be authorised.

PriamFarrl · 21/05/2022 13:13

Please don’t lie. Don’t make your child lie either. You will come unstuck.

Kid in my class spent all day telling me that he was going on holiday that afternoon with his great grandma. He was going to finish school early and go off to stay with in a caravan. He told me the place they were going, who he was going with etc.
Dad then phones up to say that the boy had a dentist appointment and would need picking up early.
I don’t think the dad knows that I’m friends with Grandma and knew bloody well that the boy was off on holiday with her.
It didn’t matter, it was a hour of Friday afternoon. It wasn’t important really. But don’t lie.

Robostripes · 21/05/2022 13:27

@Quartz2208 I’m only taking two days so I don’t think we can be fined no. I know there’s no scope for this to be authorised, that’s why I cba filling in the form! Anyway I’ve said my piece - if others want to fill in pointless forms they can of course. Enjoy your holiday OP!

cadburyegg · 21/05/2022 13:37

I'm taking my DC out of school later this year albeit only for a day so slightly different. but I'm just planning on emailing them a month or so beforehand telling them that we are going away for a long weekend and to please let me know if I need to complete any forms etc.