Why are teenagers so destructive?

[Tinkerblonde1]

Not all teenagers of course. The majority are great but the mindless destruction. Why?

Last night an old garden seat in my summer house was burnt in three places by a 14 year old boy. Friend of dd. ( not anymore)

I am a teacher and in the last week. A boy has stamped on a pen until it shattered. Another banging cupboard doors over and over. Board displays ripped down, rubbish thrown. Glue stick pulled apart and thrown at the ceiling.

My dd has also noted a teenager walking around with a dead squirrel in the local park. Flower beds being destroyed.

My friends daughter went to a party they stole food. One sat on the kitchen work top and it collapsed. My friends daughters phone was thrown out of the window and stomped on.

I know its not a new thing. My garden chair was ten years old but its not the point. I am noticing it more am my dd is that age now.

Just not something I would ever do myself even as a stroppy teen. I can't understand the mindset.

@ellebelli totally agree that YouTube has made ‘wasting stuff’ a genre in itself. I think the growth of ASMR has also legitimised some destructive behaviour- eg. Soap cutting and ‘mixing 100 different types of slime’ videos etc.

I think this acting out is because the teens concerned have poor ability to (1) know what they are feeling and (2) be able to express it verbally,

Basically it is poor emotional development.

A well developed teen can know what they feel, and they can put that in words, and make people understand what they feel using those words. "I am feeling so angry about my mother's stupid rules about tidying and it makes me feel really like smashing my room up just to SHOW her!!

A teen with poor emotional intelligence (a) hardly knows what it is they are feeling (b) would not be able to translate that into words and (c) communicates what they are feeling to people by acting it out, by doing it in a concrete way. I am feeling very angry and frustrated, I smash something up, I almost put my bad feelings INTO those around me.

Hence this post - we see this destruction and we feel rage about it. We have been made to feel the same as the teen felt who did it. It is a way of communicating with us in the absence of any more well developed strategies.

In my grandads time 16 was adult you were working. He'd be confused about today's teen-agers

That's not 'teenagers', that's ill-brought up kids who've probably witnessed nothing but violence all their lives.

There's too many of them now to really do anything. They clutter up mental health units and special schools and all the rest of it, but at the end of the day, what are you supposed to do with a large portion of society that doesn't want to engage with the rest of us and would rather just destroy everything they see?

Maybe then their breeders should have the responsibility of making good the damage, they may up their game then and teach their sprogs right from wrong.

I wouldn't be proud of being an idiot.

Lack of good role models and/or meaningful consequences? Being sent to your room or grounded isn’t the same when you have your smartphone and tablet and everything else around you.

Breaking or damaging things through thoughtlessness or by accident is annoying, but it’s a mile away from willful destruction.

I'd say that it is 100% due to them having absolutely no respect for other people or their property. They think that they are untouchable and they can do whatever they like without any repercussions.

They have never been taught politeness, good manners or consideration for others, or at least if they have, they think that other people have to earn their respect first.

ParsleyRosemarySage · Today 12:10

Internet, social media, the culture they’re ensconced in… too many of them want to be nothing more than destructive because it’s so cool.
There’s always been poor parenting, but destructive teens are on the rise from what I’m seeing.

That is one side of it. I strongly suspect that the other side - a lot of the time - is that they know (even if they can't articulate) that society doesn't give a fuck about them, or their parents, or "normal people" or women, or poor people, or disabled people, or whether the planet is habitable, and they respond in a completely rational way. They treat society like they feel society treats them. Like shit

The whole idea that we live in a society where everyone loves their rights but no-one is willing to accept that with rights come responsibilities, does not help

There’s a difference between clumsiness, carelessness, and criminal damage.

Mindless, destructive vandalism? There's something wrong with you!

When I was in year 8 a boy in my class kicked over a headstone in the cemetery next to our school.

Some teenagers are shit bags. Hopefully they grow out of it soon.

Because at this stage they are not aware of the time, cost and effort involved of creating things. Nor are they responsible for finding the money to buy something, or its physical maintenance. And what one teen boy wouldn't dream of doing alone, he will do quite happily in order to show off to his friends, especially if alcohol is involved.

No respect for property as it isn't theirs anyway.

CatsArePeople · Today 14:03

No respect for property as it isn't theirs anyway.

I agree with that. But I also think that they have no respect for "society's property" because -

(1) They know for a fact society has no respect for them
and
(2) They know they have little chance of ever owning significant amounts of property because society is deeply unequal, therefore why should they care if property is damaged

I am not sure what is more disgusting. Entitled teenagers mindless destroying things because they think that they have a right to do what they want, whilst having no responsibility to anyone or anything... or society which thinks it has a right to expect fantastic behaviour from teenagers whilst not having any responsibility for giving teenagers anything back - things like hope or respect or opportunities or kindness.

One might also pretty much assume that by definition society gets the teenagers that it deserves - the one's it creates and nurtures.

My dd has also noted a teenager walking around with a dead squirrel in the local park.

Maybe the squirrel died a natural death and the teenager was doing a kind action by removing it before it went liquid and someone's dog rolled in it. Well, you can always hope.

Then they used the mask string from face masks to saw cuts in the plastic chairs.
That's another one.

Then they used the mask string from face masks to saw cuts in the plastic chairs.

That's another one.

How do their parents react when you send them the bills?

Leadership deal with it. Not sure what happens to be honest.

That's not 'teenagers', that's ill-brought up kids who've probably witnessed nothing but violence all their lives.

Not true at all. I grew up in an affluent middle class area and the more "alpha" boys, who generally came from stable and living homes were the worst for mindless destruction. It was an immature expression of dominance.

The year 11 who stomped on the pen and slammed the cupboard doors is very affluent and no SEND.

He just isn't a nice person.

Wild hormones.
poor impulse control.
desire to impress peers.
desire to look macho/ cool.
poorly developed empathy.
general twattishness.

generally destructive behaviour happens in groups where the individual people are fine but when together they follow the leaders.

It's testing boundaries. Boundaries of society, of friendships, of families. Human beings usually crave boundaries but at some stage they have to learn to self impose. Same reason they drink, take drugs and stay out all night. Because they can and they want to/need to learn and develop boundaries.

Lack of empathy - develops during teenage years. Although some do show it earlier and others will never properly develop it.

Along with risk-taking and needing to pull away from their parents. I had a colleague who said they had to go through a stage of being vile otherwise parents would never let them go. I do think there is a strong evolutionary element to their stupidity behaviour.