Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to want to commit matri/patricide and husbandicide....i think not.

35 replies

jooseyfruit · 12/01/2008 13:53

Am 38 weeks pregnant.
My parents have been staying in our small 3 bed terrace with us since end of jan.

They plan to stay until baby born, to look after other dc's.

This is all great and i am grateful that they are here etc etc.

They won't let me do anything, mum actually takes things out of my hands when i'm trying to do stuff.

Worse thing: had a "little accident" the other morning. Full bladder/baby headbutting bladder/couldn't get out of bed quick enough....you get the picture!! Stripped bed, jumped in shower planning to sort out bed afterwards...............got out of shower to find both parents in my room and my dad drying the wet patch with my hairdryer!!
Felt really upset and angry and humiliated.

I know they're only trying to help but i can manage and i have strong nesting instinct at the mo.

Plus husband is a grumpy tw*t at the mo.
He's very stressed at work, is very nervous about birth(his first child)He's just phoned me to offload about the tits that he works with then asked if i'd had any labour twinges, i answered no and he said "oh for fucks sake" angrily!!

What i know is going to happen, as did with my other two kids, is that this one will be late, went 42wks with ds and 40+5 with dd, i've got to put up with this for another 2-3 weeks.

Can everyone just feck off and leave me the feck alone!! I can't even leave the house (spd and too fat to get behind wheel)

Thank you for listening, feel better already.

OP posts:
Wisteria · 12/01/2008 13:57

feel for you must be very constricting, no YANBU.

However it would be fairly unreasonable to actually commit murder

Why do you need them there now though? Can't they just come when new bundle is here?

itsahardknocklife · 12/01/2008 13:58

chill. sit back and let your parents get on with it. Put your feet up.
I understand your frustration - I had SPD and was practically immobile towards the end of my pregnancy. My mum lived near me and came over most days. She did loads and it was frustrating to watch her not do things 'my way' but, looking back, I am sooooo grateful.
Ask your mum and dad to pop out to Holland and Barratts to get some raspberry leaf tea - it's meant to bring on labour, but is a bugger to find so they'll be gone a while. Then you'll have some time to yourself and when they return they can make you cup after cup after cup!

twofishes · 12/01/2008 13:58

oh bless you...think you are being a saint myself!!
My parents came up to 'help out' before the birth of DC3, reorganised my cupboards, cluttered up my house with 'stuff' and treated me like an invalid..and to top it all DP got really hacked off with them and sooo massive atmosphere, couldn't wait to give birth so it could all go back to 'normal'
As soon as DS arrived it was 'thanks Cheerio' and a big sigh of relief...
Could your Folks nip back home for a few days esp if you think you are going to be late?..to give you a breather

lovecat · 12/01/2008 13:58

Oh you poor thing

I'd say you have grounds for husbandicide on the basis of that phone call alone - it may be his first, but (to quote) for fuck's sake, does he think you have any control over what happens?

As for your parents, no advice really but I can feel your pain... can you suggest they take your other dcs and go out and do a bit of shopping for you (give them a long list of hard-to-find and obscure items) so you get a bit of time to yourself?

Hope that the venting helped

jooseyfruit · 12/01/2008 14:00

Agree re: actual murder of parents and husband.

parents live in Spain, so didn't want to be flying back and forth.

Husband just phoned to apologise and is going to support me out on a nice walk to the butchers to buy a huge fillet steak, which he is going to cook for my tea.

i shall strike him off the hit list.....for now!!

OP posts:
Wisteria · 12/01/2008 14:01

his 'OFFS!' outburst may have been meant to come across as 'OFFS you poor thing', possibly??

You may not be late this time - they do tend to get earlier I think - mine did anyway!

Wisteria · 12/01/2008 14:02

You have a husband who can apologise???

NAB3wishesfor2008 · 12/01/2008 14:03

I can understand your embarrassment but they are your parents and have cleaned up much worse, as you have with your children. Make the most of them and relax, watch tv, have nice baths, etc.

Plenty of us would love parents full stop.

jooseyfruit · 12/01/2008 14:04

omg twofishes, sounds exactly like my situation.

My mum keeps putting my ovengloves in the wrong place!!

Petty and small, i know, and i am grateful and love them all dearly but aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrghhhh!

OP posts:
jooseyfruit · 12/01/2008 14:07

I know what you mean NAB3, and i am aware that this may sound ungrateful etc. I think it's more the lack of my own space aswell, can't wander around naked to make cuppa in morning etc etc.

I am having a bad day and i do need to talk to them and find a way where we can all jog along together.

OP posts:
NAB3wishesfor2008 · 12/01/2008 14:09

Oh, I can appreciate it is hard for you. I just wanted to point out that in the great scheme of things it isn't the end of the world and in a few weeks you won't even remember it.

Maybe suggest they let you help more. You will all get it done quicker and it takes your mind of the baby not yet coming.

twofishes · 12/01/2008 14:10

after they'd gone to bed I had to go round the kitchen taking teatowels off cupboard handles it drove me crazy..!

jooseyfruit · 12/01/2008 14:13

NAB3 - thank you for your calming words!

OP posts:
NAB3wishesfor2008 · 12/01/2008 14:15

Pleased to have helped now get in the bath with chocolate and a magazine!

jooseyfruit · 12/01/2008 14:15

twofishes-lol, i've lost count re:times i've relocated my oven gloves to their rightful place....god, how sad.

OP posts:
jooseyfruit · 12/01/2008 14:16

NAB3- would do if my fat arse would fit!!! Maybe just have chocolate.

OP posts:
NAB3wishesfor2008 · 12/01/2008 14:33

Best have 2 lots to make up for the disappointment of no bubble bath.......

jooseyfruit · 12/01/2008 14:36

I could just stick my head out of the shower whilst scoffing a Bounty, although i don't think it would have the same relaxing effect!

OP posts:
hercules1 · 12/01/2008 14:44

Sorry but I lol when I read the bit about your dp swearing because you hadn't started labour!

jooseyfruit · 12/01/2008 14:51

As if a few harsh words is going to help me along!

He could give me a good seeing to and that could get things started, but he is reluctant!!

OP posts:
NAB3wishesfor2008 · 12/01/2008 14:53

A long walk
Curry
Rhubarb and custard
Raspberry leaf tablet
Baby on way.

jooseyfruit · 12/01/2008 14:54

And thats another thing, he won't touch me and i can't...ahem..see to myself cuz mum and dad are downstairs!!!

OP posts:
jooseyfruit · 12/01/2008 14:57

ooooh, rhubarb and custard, what an ace idea. I've been scoffing liquorice like a (black tongued) maniac hoping that will have an effect on me bowels!!!!

Curry- have eaten a huge bag of walkers chilli sensations, but don't think that is quite the same.

OP posts:
Wisteria · 12/01/2008 14:59

Run up and down the stairs - then reward yourself with curry and bounty

cornsilk · 12/01/2008 15:06

Are your parents staying with you 'cos you live far away from them? Can't you ask them to come back when the baby is actually there!