To expect my dH to keep the kids a little bit quiet

[MRSMARMITE3]

So I work till midnight, scoot home (can't drive) which takes an hour then normally get up 7 so always feel like shit. I've been doing overtime as we are skint (unexpected car bill) and finished work at 2am last night. So didn't get home till 3. dH got up with the kids but they have been constantly screaming, banging, standing outside my door. dH was even standing outside on load speaker to his mum. I'm so tired and angry and I'm in work again tonight. I got up at 9.30 and came down to him with his headphones on watching Tv on his phone ( kids were upstairs of course) his response- I thought they were being quiet? Surely it's not unreasonable to expect dH to keep them a bit quiet? Or take them bloody out. It's a nice day

So you’re working overtime for a car he won’t use to come and get you? 3.5miles he’ll be 15mins TOPS!

ok so even if you don’t want to risk that, he’s not taking the kids out and deliberately disturbing you.

id go postal at him tbh, and tell him if he doesn’t take the kids out for a couple of hours so you can fucking sleep, that he’ll have them SOLO every other weekend and a day in the week cos you’ll divorce the wanker

Why are you doing overtime to pay for a car that you can't drive???!!

Tell him to do the overtime, problem solved.

Seriously, don't be walked all over. He's showing you no consideration in exchange for what you're doing for him. That should tell you something.

Your inconsiderate husband is confusing being in the house at the same time as the children with actually looking after them. Spell out to him the night before what exactly are his plans with his children in the morning? 'Hanging out' is not an option.
And set down some very firm rules, he obviously thinks he's doing you some kind of favour while he's waiting for you to wake up and take over.
I do think a bicycle would get you home quicker.

This set up is not practical . How old are the dc?
I can’t believe you have to scoot home at 2am, it’s not safe and you must be exhausted
could you get a taxi home ?

I would stop the overtime - finishing at 12 would make a big difference- you can't go on like that. He needs to solve that problem himself since he's the one benefitting from the car. Referring to it as a lie in would give me the rage too.

You're husbands an inconsiderate dick

3 and 7. 3 year old starts nursery September so I can have a kip when they go. I could get a taxi but the point is to save money. I don't think there's any more overtime at the minute so that saves me a bit.

He wanted you up and he made sure you were up.

At least get a bike if you don’t drive.

YANBU. If your kids are too young to understand for themselves to give you time to lie in then HE needs to he entertaining them and it's just plain obnoxious to you and the kids if he has headphones in and is ignoring them. I would never in a million years have to spell this out to my DH. Tell him he needs to step up. Either he takes them out or HE gets an extra job and scoots home. People, including your loved ones, only ever treat you the way you allow them to. Stick up for yourself.

Why isn't he doing over time? Or getting a second job?

Go back to bed OP. Tell him to get off his lazy arse and take them to the park.

That’s proper evil.

think on @MRSMARMITE3

Your posts aren't clear. Do you have a car each? If so he should have given you his as you are coming home at unsociable hours, my dh would do this. That would be the kind, considerate thing to do. It might inconvenience him in the short term but is better than you having to use public transport or a scooter at that time.

I'd ltb over the North comment tbh. He's an arse.

dH was even standing outside on load speaker to his mum.

That was absolutely deliberate. He wanted you to wake up so he made sure you did.

Just a thought, I bet the money you spent on the car could have paid for taxis or an electric bike or scooter. Why was it spent on the car?

Your posts aren't clear. Do you have a car each?
She literally says she can’t drive in the OP, it’s perfectly clear.

OP, why has it shaken down this way? Why aren’t you working regular hours and he’s scooting home til the car is fixed? I don’t mean him doing overtime – not every job brings that option – I mean saving slowly to fix his car, and in the meantime he walks/takes public transport/cycles/scoots/cadges a lift. Why is it on you to preserve his route to work, at the expense of your health?

I've just been upstairs laying on the bed for two hours and he's now taking the kids for a walk. We need the car cos he needs it to get home in time for me to go to work and leave the kids with him. I leave half an hour after he gets home so if he got the train etc he wouldn't be back in time annoyingly. I will have a talk with him tomorrow. Too tired to do it before work tonight but he knows I'm pissed at him

Yes, it’s absolutely deliberate. He does this, and lets the kids scream and bang outside your door, because he wants you to get up. It’s nasty behaviour.
You haven’t explained why you’re doing this horribly late overtime to pay for his car. What happens if you say no, no more overtime? He can find the money himself. Overtime or a second job.
@nearlyspringyay I wondered that too.

Well I felt exhausted just reading that! Obv DH cant come to get you and have to leave DC alone .Surely a Taxi would be better .I appreciate you are trying to save money ,however you cannot risk your safety! Maybe see about being a SAHM while they are small. If you keep working ,take a taxi home,quit OT and sort him out!

Sounds exhausting. I got home from work at 2am for years and had to be up at 6.45am to get kids to school. It’s a level of exhaustion that is indescribable - I feel nauseous just remembering. It’s terrible for your health. The useless hubby who did the bare minimum is now an ex. Let that be a lesson. This sort of man does not appreciate how hard it is for you.