Leaving New Job AIBU

Unluckyinlove2 · 2022-05-20T22:05:14+00:00

I’ve retrained and found what on paper is my dream job. However 4 weeks in and I feel like I’ve made the biggest mistake. The role and company itself is amazing however I am struggling to cope. The role is full time and I have 3 kids under the age of 5. I’m constantly drained and feel miserable. I’m happy to carry on working full time but need something hybrid based as at least than I can cut out commute time. I’ve just found a job that offers what I’m looking for but I’m worried that they will think I’m mad for leaving the role so quickly. My partner is telling me to stick it out longer because it won’t look good to other employers. So AIBU?

helpimgoingcrazyhere · 20/05/2022 23:10

Starting a new role can be full on but if the job isn’t working for you, I think it’s fine to jump to another. I recruit and wouldn’t see this as a big issue unless your whole job history was just jumping from job to job to job.
They might also have a candidate who was a close second at interview, that they could offer your role to.

Babyroobs · 20/05/2022 23:10

Presumably you knew it was full time and office based before you took it? I would give it a bit longer than a month. I have just started my first full time job in 3 years and it is hard but a month in I feel like I'm getting into a better routine. I'm planning to ask for a couple of days working from home after a few months. Traffic commute has been a nightmare and the job can be done from home.

Original poster

Unluckyinlove2 · 20/05/2022 23:16

Thank you for your replies. @helpimgoingcrazyhere no my CV is stable otherwise. My last job was part time for the last 2 years. @Babyroobs yes I did know but I thought I could cope. Sadly that’s not the case now. The kids are settled into their routine with clubs and nursery but I feel drained. I can’t seem to find joy in anything I’m doing.

OP posts:

Thebeastofsleep · 21/05/2022 09:58

Go for the new job. Then if you get it you can make a decision. Don't quit this job yet though.

ThisIsNotThePostYourLookingFor · 21/05/2022 10:00

I was offered a job that again sounded amazing on paper but I lasted 8 months. It was quite intense and different from what I thought it would be. You need to do what suits you and makes you happy, it doesn’t matter what others think

Candleabra · 21/05/2022 10:08

Is there any opportunity for wfh in the current job once you’re established?
If you like the job, then I would stick it out for a bit longer. It does take time to get used to the logistics of working full time. I think you need to give it more time to be honest.

DazzlePaintedBattlePants · 21/05/2022 10:10

Has your partner changed his behaviour since you went FT? Or is he carrying in as if you were working PT?

I wouldn’t quit just yet. It’s always going to tough with 3 under 5 but if the money means you can buy in help to make it through until they are at school it is worth it.

HikingforScenery · 21/05/2022 10:13

Babyroobs · 20/05/2022 23:10

Presumably you knew it was full time and office based before you took it? I would give it a bit longer than a month. I have just started my first full time job in 3 years and it is hard but a month in I feel like I'm getting into a better routine. I'm planning to ask for a couple of days working from home after a few months. Traffic commute has been a nightmare and the job can be done from home.

Doesn’t matter if OP knew it was full time and office-based. Sometimes, the reality it very different to how we imagine a situation would be.

@Unluckyinlove2 does your partner work full time? Does he also feel shattered all the time? You can carry on doing everything you did before getting his job. He’s asked you to stick it out. Let him know how can help( assuming he’s not figured that out himself).
If it’s your dream job, I would explore other avenues before quitting.

would they not let you go part time or let you have hybrid working?

OneCup · 21/05/2022 10:16

Could you have a chat with them and explain you are struggling and explore options with them ? For eg. Could you work from home 1 or 2 days a week or could you go part-time for the next few years?

Original poster

Unluckyinlove2 · 21/05/2022 11:28

My partner has been amazing at supporting me doing his fair share. We both work full time so I do drop offs and he collect kids from clubs/nursery at 5pm. I get in for 6 and they are have finished eating. He gets them changed and I put them to bed. It’s just very intense by the time I sit down to eat it’s gone 7. And start all over again the next day. I still want to remain full time but need something more flexible or hybrid. My current role doesn’t offer that which they didn’t state before I took the job on. I had assumed they would be open to it since the role can be done from home however they said they would prefer me to be based at the office 5 days a week.

OP posts:

ithinkidbetterleaverightnow · 21/05/2022 11:31

Is it a role that could be job-shared? Would your employer be open to the idea?

stanfi · 21/05/2022 11:45

Everyone feels tired and overwhelmed in a new job. Give your chance to settle in before making a decision

Babyroobs · 21/05/2022 12:21

Unluckyinlove2 · 21/05/2022 11:28

My partner has been amazing at supporting me doing his fair share. We both work full time so I do drop offs and he collect kids from clubs/nursery at 5pm. I get in for 6 and they are have finished eating. He gets them changed and I put them to bed. It’s just very intense by the time I sit down to eat it’s gone 7. And start all over again the next day. I still want to remain full time but need something more flexible or hybrid. My current role doesn’t offer that which they didn’t state before I took the job on. I had assumed they would be open to it since the role can be done from home however they said they would prefer me to be based at the office 5 days a week.

Is it the commute that is the problem because if you still want full time, surely you are still going to have to put the hours in at home. Is it just the additional travel time that is the problem?

Choufleurfromage · 21/05/2022 12:43

Altho' it's not ideal, you should leave if you are unhappy. You can always explain a blip on a cv,and tbh, most employers today expect a more portfolio career. Few stay in a job all their lives now.
Work takes up much of our lives, so better to be happy, or at least content that it is working for you and family. 😋

OlehMumHopefully · 21/05/2022 12:45

Pppp

Userxxxxx · 21/05/2022 13:17

Be cautious. The job market is awful.

I’ve just found a job that offers what I’m looking for

So many job adverts can get changed during recruitment or just not exist. I don't like to say it but I've come to the conclusion that a lot of employers with the assistance of job boards are creating a false economy about jobs.
I applied to a head office with a fabulous high amount of openings I thought with odds like that how can I fail to get a job. Really couldn't believe the salary and how there were no hoops to jump through just a virtual interview and they were being very coy when I asked why are you moving your head office from one end of Essex to the other. But sadly either on day of the interview or the very next day, said job was simply re-advertised, they even must have thought I was not savvy enough not to follow their job advertising to know any of this, so I couldn't really believe the basic and worst fabrication of a limited unsuccessful notification when it landed.