is anyone happy or purposely going to stay single from now on or been doing it for years?
im 41 and only ever had the one partner, sexually and romantically
he was 17 me 18 and was together nearly 22 years.
we were happy and all through the relationship never had any problems
i was happy in our life and even though we had 2 disabled children that needs 24/7 care and home educate this life we chose we were all happy
we even had the stress of fertility treatment for 4 solid years for no 2 but stuck together
sept 2020 went to bed one night(very rare as neither kids sleeps)and we(kids and i)woke up to no tom(not real name).
out of contact for 3 days, everyone going spare including his parents and police wouldn't help
he rang me on night 3 and informs me hes now living with our joint best friend and going to be step dad to her kids and asked them to call him dad, also engaged and trying for a baby(yes really on day 1,he turned up at hers 4am and by 6am was sleeping together)
they pooled funds ie she took him off my joint claim and put him on hers, changed all his correspondence to her house .all done on day 1
i and his mother rang her on day 1 asking does she know what happened to him? and she was as worried as us.{bloody good actor as he was sat there the whole time}
i was completely in shock as it was a double betrayal as she was like a sister to me as we were best friends(tom, her and i)for 8 years.
my youngest was 3 at the time her youngest 2 when we meet.
there really was no signs at all
she has disabled children(all 5) and home educates and both families spent 99%of our time together so he has no chance to cheat at all behind my back as i was physically there
according to him there was no cheating he went to her on day 1 saying he was struggling(with what he never explained to me) and she declared her love for him and have been for years so to me she saw a opportunity and pounced.
ex has mild asd(Asperger's in old terms)and ADD so can be naïve but he also chose to go
he was a amazing father and carer, did everything i did baby wise and i used washable nappies back in the day so even better he helped.
hes never worked due to asd and then a carer a few years after oldest(17)was born then when 11 y old was born so has been very hands on not only as a dad but as a carer as well.
he did his fair share of house work too, was our driver as i dont drive and did shopping.
so not one of the bad/cf males you read about on here that expect the woman to everything
i really thought i has one of the good ones as he was a amazing partner also for many years.
its been since sept 2020 and to this day i cant get over the double betrayal and am still very very angry.
also the fact hes left his 2 disabled kid and dont see them to look after 5 disabled kids that's not his and a 99.9% possibility that this new baby will have asd. even though she's heavily pregnant she now become physically disabled so hes now her carer. so he left 2 disabled kids that i shred (ie one kid each, we never had both at the same time) to look after 6 disabled and a disabled adult alone
they got married the other day(im not interested in marriage as i dont believe in it so not bothered about that)and is due a baby any day(6th kid by 6 different men i want to point out, the first 5 are not involved)
im very interested in the male form and enjoy looking at an attractive man(im in to 90s/00s boybands still to this day) but since ive been single ive had zero interest in getting another man
its taken a lot of effort(i had a emotional breakdown 4 months after the event)to
1 become used to being a single person/adult
2 a single mother(he doesn't see boys)
3 lone single carer x2 as both need 24/7 care
4 ive never had a relationship breakdown/end so struggling to process my anger
ive grown up around amazing men ,my dad, my granddad ,my father in law(they dont accept his actions btw)my brother in law and my great grand pa(granddad and great granddad are dead now)so its not a i hate men phase or post
its just in the the last few months ive come to realise do i want another man here.
my AIBU is is it wrong to want to stay single? As even though im very very angry at the pair of them. living just me and my sons is so much calmer as i never realised how hard work ex was(emotionally draining) due to his asd ADD as i knew no different and overlooked it as he was one of the good ones that shared everything
a week after he went i realised how calm and quiet the house was without him here as he was constantly on(if you know ADD you would understand, twin that with asd as well and he was always on the go)
i read posts on here about how some men behave(and how the woman allow it to happen) and i think to myself is living with A man again actually worth it? even though technically i had one of the good ones
im zero interested in woman btw so its not that.
anyone else staying single and very happy about it?
I KNOW ITS LONG BUT I WANTED TO EXPLAIN FULLY