I've been trying to access therapy for many years. I've done IAPT level 2 & 3 and both times the 10 sessions left me in a state of having opened up but not enough time to resolve anything so just left to deal with it on my own. After the level 3 I had a mental breakdown. I was in hospital for 3 years and during this time I completed DBT with the aim that I could then start trauma therapy in the community once discharged. Unfortunately I've had to wait another 2 years so I've forgotten most of the DBT. Private therapists won't touch me as too complex. But anyway, I finally was able to start. It was my 2nd session today and I found out I am only getting 18 sessions (including last week). I'm gutted. I really don't think it will be anywhere near enough. And now I realise why last week and this week she seemed to be pushing me to talk about things before I was ready and why she is talking about finding solutions to my issues before I've barely had a chance to talk about anything. This evening I am feeling incredibly low. I feel so, so tired. I feel like giving up and so hopeless. I feel panicky and tearful and so bad. The therapist is also only a trainee and I feel like experienced private therapists won't take me on but then I'm seeing a trainee - does this make sense? I'm going to be left in an incredibly vulnerable position again. I already feel re-traumatised by being pushed to talk about things and without the benefit of having the DBT fresh in my mind as was the plan. I don't know what to do. My psych nurse has just left so I don't have her to talk to either.