Parents and adult sibling

[Amelion]

My sister (older than me, 40s) lives with our parents in their house. Her young daughter lives with them too. This is out of choice from her side (has been mostly out of work all her adult life and has never moved out).

We all get on well.

However I’m starting to feel put out that they come as a whole unit (the 4 of them) so it’s difficult to plan or do anything just with my parents. It’s not that I want to exclude my sister, just that because they come as a 4 it’s proving difficult to see my parents at all.

This is mostly because I live in another country. I have one spare room, which would be completely fine for either my parents, or my sister and niece to visit. But I don’t have space for all of them - and my parents keep putting off visiting because there isn’t space for them all at the same time. As my parents are retired, they also need to plan around my sister’s work and childcare. I just want to invite my parents up for long weekends now and then - it would be so much easier if it was just them rather than them and my sister and niece.

I do go and visit them but I wish they’d come visit me too.

So AIBU or are they?!

They're being unreasonable. So sorry op

Are they nervous about travelling on their own?

Can you not have a word with your sister, tell her you would love your parents to visit and ask if she can help convince them to come. Suggest they worry about leaving her and niece - my guessing she would relish a bit of time with just the two of them in the house.

I don’t think they’re nervous of travelling, they’re quite well-travelled.

I think it’s more they feel bad leaving my sister as they see themselves as one family and they don’t want to do anything without her. It might be a good idea to talk to my sister and see if she can encourage them.