To be fed up with medical professional bias

[Tobeginatthebeginning1]

So I am obese. Yes It is not great but I am trying my best to work on it whilst dealing with unrelated medical conditions, Low mood, anxiety and stress. I am extremely active. My stress relievers are getting out in the country walking and wild swimming.
Dh is probably average weight but only stays like that by eating nothing all day and one meal in the eveningwhich isn't balanced . He does very little exercise and already is on statins and drugs for High Blood Pressure.
On my last Doctors visit I had an average blood sugar test done without it even being explained to me. The GP was surprised and almost disappointed I felt when it came back fine and than suggested I do a little exercise. So clearly because I am obese I could not possibly be walking every day training for Ultra events and swimming twice a week. My diet is also now better as finally I am getting treatment for MH issues so hoping to improve my fitness further.
DH had a call from same GP as his recent blood tests came back potentially a diabetes risk. But in his case it couldn't possibly be right as he isn't overweight so it must be the meds he takes. So reduce meds and repeat bloods etc.
No wonder obese people have worst outcomes. Reckon much is to do with everything being blamed on their weight and not being taken seriously

@Tobeginatthebeginning1 I hear you... obviously there are exceptions but it's definitely something I've experienced at times. I've had same issues as a size 10-12 as at a size 18-20 yet had very different reactions.

It is so annoying. I even get it from random strangers. When doing events people often assume I can only be doing the shortest distance. When training people fawn over me for walking 6 miles. O it's ever so far they say. I know they are trying to encourage but it feels so patronising. I know it could be worse.

I’m a chub so I do get it but also don’t get the part about what can’t be right with your husbands issues? What did they say about this not being right cos he’s not overweight?

I have to agree I hate this. I have a BMI of 35 and throughout both my pregnancies I was told due to weight there could be issues and they did extra tests etc. I had not one medical issue when pregnant and both normal labours with no complications.

I am on no medications and have no health conditions, like you I also walk a lot and keep active. However I do eat a lot hence the weight but I eat a lot of health foods due too much of it. I am trying to lose weight on general but they should not assume everyone has issues due to weight.

My understanding is that if your DH were overweight and on meds and having issues with Bp/cholesterol and blood sugar he would be advised to lose weight as well - but he isn’t overweight so they haven’t asked him to lose any. Your DH clearly is genetically predisposed to these issues regardless of being a healthy weight which can be harder to spot (visually on sight) but after testing would be

you didn’t say what your GP visit was about so no context as to why they did a blood sugar check on you so I can’t say whether this was bias. Some Gp’s have signed up to a weight management contract this year additionally being overweight increases your risk of some health conditions so they are going to check/advise.

Even when I am obese I have low cholesterol as I am pear shaped and I don’t eat a high fat diet, I’m not genetically predisposed to high cholesterol. A Gp would still check my blood sugar etc if I went to the doctor with symptoms that could indicate a health issue

but if it was for like a chest infection and they commented on your weight and blood sugar check, YANBU

I don’t really see the issue. Based on the balance of probabilities and the general population, it makes perfect sense they would consider an obese person’s weight an issue. Your individual case my prove that you’re not unwell due to your weight but that bucks the trend as for most extra weight is a logical reason for health issues.

I think the op's point is because her dh isn't overweight they assume he has a decent diet and exercise. My dh is similar he's really slim but I want him to get blood tests because his diet is so bad and he doesn't exercise ever so I'm worried what could be hiding inside.

@Menora they feel the elevated levels must be down to a drug he takes so they want to be sure which is fine.
I think they was probably a reason for doing the diabetes check as I had been having recurring mouth issues. I had no worries about her doing the test but it felt it should have been explained. Also it was so clear that she was surprised I had normal levels. I have always had normal cholesterol aswell. My blood pressure is normally good too but was higher last time as I was seeing her to get answers re what I deemed to be neglect of another condition which left me in agony for months.
Re DH it was a telephone appointment so she was only going on his perception of his weight.
@GreenIsle I had a surprise pregnancy and I had it marked on the scan that the view wasn't good due to maternal size. WTF. The scan was perfectly clear. I was also told not to gain any weight at all. I had appointments with Consultant and anaesthetist who were both fab and couldn't really understand the fuss.

Exactly @Sweetmotherofallthatisholyabov

Well that's great and I'm pleased for you but these extra tests are risk stratified and offered to people at risk of developing complications. It's like routine smear screening for certain age groups and not others.

Obesity is a risk factor in pregnancy. Most obese women won't experience any issues but some will, and the additional tests can save the lives of women and babies.

OP people are dicks to assume you can't manage longer distances etc. But the wider population don't associate fitness and exercise with larger people. There are a lot of assumptions and prejudices about being larger and this is one of them 🤷‍♀️

@Menora he also doesn't eat any fruit or vegetables and his one meal a day is something like pie and chips. If we have Mcdonalds (I normally pass now they stopped doing the grilled chicken) he has a double quarter pounder. That and no exercise probably doesn't help either.
It is a worry as his df died of a heart attack at aged 60.

Yes but you could do something about it. Do you like being obese? I hated it and had a sleeve and am now size 8 and am treated differently and so much more confident. If you are happy, who cares. If you aren't, do something about it.

It's not a competition, you are both adults in your own right. You do you.

Yanbu,

I am jumping through the medical hoops and went to the dietitian (over phone due to covid) I explained that I had 2 weetabix in skimmed milk for breakfast, soup from packet (therefore portioned) for lunch and half portion soup for dinner with 2 slices bread. I also explained that I was doing 1.5 hour cardio a day and 3 hour long pilates classes for toning a week. At the end of the call the the dietitian glibly summarised by saying " so you will look to reduce your portions and try and increase you exercise " , I ensured she revised her summary as that was nowhere near a summary of what we had discussed being that I was eating portioned food (based on the fact that any historical such interactions whatever I said my diet was the inference was that I was obviously eating huge portions (not true) so I took away any possibility that portions could be called into question)

You aren't listened too, treated as if you are lying and assumed that you are greedy and lazy.

For me it is pretty much due to hashimoto, my "maintain" calorie requirement is 1200 calories, anything over that I put weight on at pace. I am only now losing weight on 800 calories a day, and that is 1.4lb a week, so still slow despite such a low calorie diet I will be on this for over a year😭

As I said, there is treatment. I had pcos and hashimoto and went from 103kg to 58kg. It's not rocket science, you eat less and you lose weight. That was 5 years ago and I bless every day and the 3 grand it cost

@Thedogshouses I have not always been obese you know. 3 years ago some pretty shit stuff happening my life and as a gradual process I regained weight I lost.
As I explained I am working on it as finually I have MH support and I am training for a 100KM event in August so if that isn't doing something about it I am not sure what it.

Dietician...nurse without even the thicko degree

I mean surgery obviously

Because if you did what you did was working, you wouldn't be obese

the other side to this is you and I might live longer but need bilateral knee replacements and therefore cost the NHS a lot more in that respect.
self management has been in the NHS for years now and you often cannot even get surgery until you have a BMI under 30
smokers can’t either unless they quit

you just should focus on your health, he’s a grown man. Hopefully a shock to the system. My rail thin nan had ridiculously high cholesterol

No one’s saying all overweight people have health problems. They’re saying overweight people are more likely to have health problems hence the extra tests you had. It’s a fact that a high BMI makes a pregnancy higher risk

I've got a good article on stigma and obesity if you want a read?

bcmmedicine.biomedcentral.com/track/pdf/10.1186/s12916-018-1116-5.pdf

Say what you like about stigma. It's human nature, people judge you. Otherwise Adell would still be fat

I had knee pain for years. I tried telling the doctor that I felt like something wasn't in-line in my knee - like it needed clicking into place.
Was told it was probably arthritis (I was in my 30s). Was given naproxen prescription & physio.
Physio consisted of leg exercises like lunges etc 🤦🏻‍♀️
I lost 3 stone in weight and still suffered with the pain. Ended up gaining the weight back due to the depression caused by the consistent pain.
Saw a different doctor during a prescription review. She refused to give me anymore naproxen. Asked me if I had tried paracetamol - and offered to write me a prescription for paracetamol 🤦🏻‍♀️ (I refused)
Then looked at me and said, you know, losing weight will really help the pressure on your knee.
I wanted to cry.
A few weeks later, something clicked in my knee and the pain went away! Was absolutely nothing to do with my weight!