Holiday with my mum

[imperialminty]

Just wanted to see if people think this is OK or I’m being a really bad partner…

I’m getting married in a few months, and my Mum wants to take me away on a holiday just the two of us before the wedding as a kind of hen/last hurrah for the two of us. I’m an only child and my Dad died 5 years ago so it’s only us. I really want to go, and my fiancé wants me to go, but I can’t help feeling really guilty about leaving him for a week and jetting off on a swish, all expenses paid holiday whilst he stays at home. My Mum is very generous with her money and has taken me and my fiancé away before on amazing holidays, but this is a girls trip. Also he won’t be able to do something similar before the wedding as we can’t afford anything other than our (admittedly amazing) honeymoon we’re planning for the end of the year.

I think I’m just being silly, aren’t I? Weirdly paranoid everyone will think I’m a horrible fiancée for leaving for that long before the wedding!

Of course go and enjoy it. How lovely of your mum.

Honestly everyone will just think 'lucky duck' just go! It will be lovely. Don't even think about it ☺️

This is a weird thing to be worried about!
It’s into therapy territory for me, why you care so much what other people think over something that’s not weird anyway and all 3 people involved are happy with.

Of course you are being silly, you are marrying him not chaining yourself to him! You can still enjoy things without him, go and have fun!

Please, please, please, please go!!!

My mum is 79 and one of my biggest regrets is that I couldn't take her on holiday when she was still strong and healthy enough. Just the two of us. Just one holiday where we only do what she (in your case probably: we) wants.

It will be a trip you and her will always treasure.

Once and if you have kids it will be really difficult.

One week is nothing and you've got nothing to feel guilty about. On the contrary it's healthy to do things on your own even after marriage and you are setting a good precedent. Please don't feel guilty to do things on your own or with your family / friends ever.. they are a sign of a healthy relationship with your partner.

I was going to say if your fiance makes a fuss it might be a red flag but reading again I can see he is on board with the idea. As he should be but still...you've got a good one there.

Enjoy your trip and take lots of photos for you both but especially your mum to fondly reminisce later when maybe she finds travelling more difficult.

You're being silly.

Go!

Oh thanks everyone - that’s really helped! The comments about doing it and making memories whilst she’s still fit enough to do it made me feel weepy, especially because I know the holiday memories we have of my dad are some of our favourites to talk about now he’s gone.

I think I’m just very aware that my Mum has the financial ability to do more and help more than others necessarily can and sometimes I end up feeling really guilty and self conscious about that, but I also know that I’m really lucky and shouldn’t ruin things by being too guilty. My fiancé thinks it’s a great idea, so no guilt from him.

Thank you for the head wobble!

Glad to see you've come to your senses! I was about to hand you a very large grip!!

I take my adult daughters away on a regular basis.
As someone said it’s better for me to give them my money with a warm hand rather than a cold hand.

If your fiance is ok with it, so and enjoy yourself. He can make the most of his week while your away, whether it's just relaxing, meeting up with mates and spending more time on a hobby.

It's something your Mum wants to do for you and if she has the money available, just go.

Go.

Sometimes you have to stop and smell the roses. Step away from the rat race. Take some time. Appreciate life. Spend time with those you love. Make some memories. This is one of those times.