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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have a fear of going back to the office

44 replies

fearoftheoffice · 19/05/2022 07:25

Have most people gone back now? Did you have an initial fear/anxiety about going back to the office and how did you get over it?

We're still taking a very slowly slowly approach and I have this fear of going back. It's been over two years and I'm an awkward person at the best of times.

OP posts:
SpaceMaaaaan · 19/05/2022 07:27

Yes, but within a week it was fine. Could you ask if you can try every other day for the first 2 weeks?

KangarooKenny · 19/05/2022 07:28

I’ve worked through the pandemic, only off when furloughed in lockdown. I’ve been in the office with no mask for many months, also sharing cars with colleagues and no masks. Some colleagues have had covid, but it’s never gone round the office, those people have been isolated incidents.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 19/05/2022 07:29

Is the fear to do with catching Covid or is it more a social anxiety issue?

Suzi888 · 19/05/2022 07:29

No.
But some staff do, if it continues they may need to be redeployed.

IrishMama2015 · 19/05/2022 07:29

HI OP, we have returned to the office one day a week for the last 2 months. We are due to increase that by another day soon. I was dreading it for a number of reasons and my anxiety was through the roof over it. But I find I'm enjoying the one day in some ways. I hate the commute but I like the chat and the coffees! I am again dreading it going up another day though. How many days are you returning?

mudgetastic · 19/05/2022 07:31

I am occasionally back

Is it the social aspect ( which I find much harder now I am out of practise ) or covid that concerns you

dudsville · 19/05/2022 07:32

I do, but my fear is more dread. Wfh has been so good for me and such an eye opener to how stressed I was on a daily basis without knowing it. I'm "awkward" and thrive in a low stimulus environment, but never had the chance to know this until the pandemic.

Do you have return to office plans or just the worry of it? For me my office is looking to downsize and I just keep hoping I'm a part of that cut.

Original poster
fearoftheoffice · 19/05/2022 07:33

Waxonwaxoff0 · 19/05/2022 07:29

Is the fear to do with catching Covid or is it more a social anxiety issue?

No fear at all with covid. Vaccinated and had it.

It's all about the social anxiety of it. How to greet people I haven't seen for two years, so I just say morning like before or have an in depth catch up with each and every person.

I guess I've got accustomed to a sense of safety at home and I may feel on edge due to my imposter syndrome that someone could come up to me in front of others and berate me for something I've done wrong or not at all.

OP posts:
SpaceMaaaaan · 19/05/2022 07:35

Yes I was the same, it was the social anxiety for me. If it helps my office has been pretty quiet in terms of volume and a lot of people are not chatting much and sitting with their headphones in (so much so someone even said, we might as well all still be at home!)

DorritLittle · 19/05/2022 07:35

I didn't want to go back but now go once a week (out of three). It's nice to have certain meetings in person again but it's such a faff compared to WFH and I get less done. I am glad I don't have to go in every day.

Original poster
fearoftheoffice · 19/05/2022 07:37

Yes I also feel like I'm putting barriers in the way. Having to pack up my work equipment at home and set it up in the office and then do the same thing at the end of the day. What's the point.

OP posts:
RaininSummer · 19/05/2022 07:38

Just say hello, lovely to see you, isn't this weird, where did I leave my mug 2 years ago and get on with it. I have been in the office for over a year now and we still have people returning.

thewooster · 19/05/2022 07:40

I prefer WFH. My employer has insisted we go back but we are hybrid working at the moment and hopefully can continue, so one day a week for part timers and two days for full time in the office with the rest of the time WFH.

I've been doing one day a week for a few months and enjoy the mix of seeing colleagues and rest of the time WFH. I work more efficiently at home, but appreciate seeing my team face-to-face on that specific day.

I take myself a treat to eat when I'm in the office and buy myself a special coffee from the cafe. If the weather is nice, I opt for a walk at lunch around a nearby 'nice' spot. I've also bought myself a novel to read at lunch for that one day.

Absolutely hate commuting. That's the worse thing about returning to office life.

NightmareSlashDelightful · 19/05/2022 07:42

I think most people are feeling the same, or similar, ‘suite’ of feelings about this. So you’re likely to all be in the same boat, and won’t feel alone in your awkwardness.

As for what you say to people, I’d just be led by them on each occasion. Hello, friendly smile, those that want to chat will, and those that don’t won’t.

SpaceMaaaaan · 19/05/2022 07:42

@thewooster I do similar, coffee and a walk at lunch. Something to get the benefits of being in a different environment.

IrishMama2015 · 19/05/2022 07:45

Similar to PP I make it my day to buy myself a nice coffee and a nice lunch. I listen to a podcast on the commute. It's my least productive day with all the faffing and I also make sure our top management know that too. I arrive dead on time and leave dead on time. I would always work a small bit of OT other days when I'm WFH

Sandinmyknickers · 19/05/2022 07:49

I was nervous at first, but now I opt to go in 3-4 times a week (only once is compulsory). I thought I was good with WFH, but going back in flipped a switch in my head and I was horrified at how much 'work' had invaded my home life and realised that I loved being able to separate work from home. I know the social bit is your worry, but I'm just saying, be accepting of yourself if suddenly your approach and priorities change and find what works best for you

Summersdreaming · 19/05/2022 07:52

Our office only closed for a month in 2020 so different situation but we have a few staff who are permanent WFH. Tbh when they call in I say hi, how are you, but the rest of the time I forget they exist a bit, not in a horrible way they just aren't here and I don't have any work interactions with them. So in that sense I don't think anyone is expecting you to announce your return or do a speech, just go in, say hi, make a brew and by lunch you'll be back in the swing of things.

Doingmybest12 · 19/05/2022 07:52

It does seem a pointless effort to pack up lap top etc at home to set it up in the office to do exactly the same job and then come home again but I think it generally it is good to have a change of scene, have a day when it is easier to sound things out /learn informally from colleagues, realise how intensively you work at home. Just say hello normally to people. Most will have mixed feelings about going back in. It will be fine.

Summersdreaming · 19/05/2022 07:53

Are you the only one who has been at home this long?

Mumwantingtogetitright · 19/05/2022 07:53

This is actually one of the reasons why we pushed people to come back much earlier, if only for a day a week with the rest wfh. We anticipated that some people would struggle with social anxiety around coming back. 2 years is a long time to be away from normal life!

You will adapt, OP. Getting over the initial hurdle of going in is probably the most difficult thing. I get that it's hard, but pushing yourself out of your comfort zone is good!

ArtVandalay · 19/05/2022 07:54

I do only one day a week in the office, if that.

I always think, ‘I can’t be bothered to go in’, but I’m always so glad I did. Seeing colleagues buoys me up much more than I anticipated plus having face to face meetings is so much better.

mudgetastic · 19/05/2022 07:59

I must admit I love WFH
I didn't realise quite how draining it was being in the office , the noise , the social aspect , the distractions, all utterly draining

I don't go in to 'work' these days only when meetings would be best face to face. I had a kind boss

Original poster
fearoftheoffice · 19/05/2022 08:04

Summersdreaming · 19/05/2022 07:53

Are you the only one who has been at home this long?

No we all have. There is a tiny percentage going in by choice now but it seems a silent reluctance from the rest whereby I think the return will have to be forced if that is what is required.

OP posts:
whiteroseredrose · 19/05/2022 08:09

We have to go in for a minimum of 2 days a week now.

For the first couple of times people chatted but then it was business as usual.

Some chose to go in full-time much earlier and are more of a unit. The rest of us are peripherals!