Threads

See more results

Topics

Usernames

Mumsnet Logo
Please
or
to access all these features

Disrespectful men in the workplace.
10

whatisforteamum · 18/05/2022 14:00

So I work in a male dominated industry and have done for many years.
I hoped over time men would realise women can do the same job and attitudes would change.
Recently I was promoted and have found myself at the brunt of raised voices by the men I asked to complete jobs.
They would not speak to my boss in the same way and he recognises this.
One shouted so much he was told not to return as he was temping anyway.So now I feel a bit guilty to the team as we will have to work harder while we replace him.
I can't get my head around them thinking this is ok to shout at anyone let alone a woman who is their senior.
Are some men still of the opinion women should not be assertive,or tell them what needs doing in 2022.?

OP's posts:
Please
or
to access all these features

Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

VapeVamp12 · 18/05/2022 16:08

I really struggle with this - I also work in a very male dominated industry although it is getting a lot better. People don't necessarily shout at me but I feel like I have to prove myself a lot more than my male colleagues.

If your boss recognises they treat you differently can he not have a word with them?

I know it's the wrong way to look at it but a lot of the people guilty of this are the older generation and they'll be retiring soon so I hope it will get better!

Please
or
to access all these features

Smartsub · 18/05/2022 16:16

whatisforteamum · 18/05/2022 14:00

So I work in a male dominated industry and have done for many years.
I hoped over time men would realise women can do the same job and attitudes would change.
Recently I was promoted and have found myself at the brunt of raised voices by the men I asked to complete jobs.
They would not speak to my boss in the same way and he recognises this.
One shouted so much he was told not to return as he was temping anyway.So now I feel a bit guilty to the team as we will have to work harder while we replace him.
I can't get my head around them thinking this is ok to shout at anyone let alone a woman who is their senior.
Are some men still of the opinion women should not be assertive,or tell them what needs doing in 2022.?

I worked in a male dominated world 30 years ago. No one would have shouted at me!

But that aside, it sounds like it's been handled well. The temp was dismissed and the others know what will happen should they feel so inclined.

Generally I've found that if you treat them as equals that's how they treat you and the odd one who did over step the mark was told in no uncertain terms and never did it again.

Please
or
to access all these features

Thelnebriati · 18/05/2022 16:17

I voted YANBU but you are being unreasonable to feel guilty that someone behaved so badly he was sacked. It was his choice to be aggressive. It wouldn't be tolerated anywhere else, at the Post Office of A&E so why should you have to put up with it?

Please
or
to access all these features

balalake · 18/05/2022 16:21

The first man I thought of who fits the bill you describe is the Prime Minister. Though his behaviour towards women is not confined to the workplace.

You should not feel guilty about what happened.

Please
or
to access all these features

Smartsub · 18/05/2022 16:24

balalake · 18/05/2022 16:21

The first man I thought of who fits the bill you describe is the Prime Minister. Though his behaviour towards women is not confined to the workplace.

You should not feel guilty about what happened.

This is an interesting point actually.

I worked in a male dominated industry from 1988-2012 and never really experience this. Maybe a few individuals, but not a general attitude.

It's sad to hear it's going backwards and I wonder if the example set by the "leader" is a factor.

Please
or
to access all these features

Bigtruth · 18/05/2022 16:28

There'll always be a high proportion of people who are sexist. More Men than women in my experience but not by much.

This won't change on a higher level but you can affect change with people you regularly deal with, having one of them sacked is a good start.

Please
or
to access all these features

whatisforteamum · 18/05/2022 16:50

Tbh I'm normally told not everyone is sexist.A new manager decided this should not be tolerated and I hope the message filters down.
My other half has temper tantrums and shouts at me.He shouted at someone in the post office and was barred.
The industry I work in is very lacking in all workplace procedures.
I just find it sad that over 30 years in and I am still on the back foot.

OP's posts:
Please
or
to access all these features

Iamnotamermaid · 18/05/2022 17:01

Having worked in a very male dominated workplace this still happens. Usually it's the younger ones who are a bit insecure and like to try throwing their weight around.

Just need to show you are not threatened or intimidated by it and they usually back off. Establish very clear boundaries which it looks like you have done.

Women unfortunately can be just as bad Confused.

Please
or
to access all these features

Daenerys77 · 18/05/2022 17:04

Congratulations on your promotion. I hope you do not tolerate from your 'other half' behaviour which you clearly and rightly do not put up with at work.

Please
or
to access all these features

whatisforteamum · 18/05/2022 17:15

Daenerys77 thank you.
My dh has turned abusive in recent years having previously been very respectful.
I hope now he knows this behaviour isn't tolerated anywhere anymore.
It does chip away at my self esteem somehow and makes me feel bad when someone shouts at me,storms off or eye rolls anything I say.

OP's posts:
Please
or
to access all these features
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.