Scared of food??

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Never posted anything like this before or on here so no idea what to say or where to even start but just posted here in case anyone else has ever been in the same situation!

I was struggling with IBS symptoms and found I could stop the symptoms by not eating very much or skipping meals altogether for a couple of days at a time, then if I felt unwell maybe eating very lightly for a day and then skipping meals again. It only started because I wanted to stop the symptoms and it was the only way I could do it. I said I’d do it for a short while and then eat normally again but im finding it hard to go back to eating normally because I’ve really preferred not eating and not getting the ibs symptoms. I know obviously I can’t avoid eating forever, but I feel like I don’t even want to anymore. I think I’m just so scared if I eat it will start the IBS again and I’ve accidentally made myself scared of eating.

for the last couple of days I’ve been trying really hard to eat normally and I went to nandos with my friends and ate food with them at their house, and I didn’t act any different or say anything and I just ate it, but I’m so scared of the IBS symptoms that eating feels horrible and inside my head it was like I was telling myself I shouldn’t be eating. I know I shouldn’t have but I made myself throw up a couple of times after I ate- I was SO worried that I would have the IBS symptoms and I figured that at least if I made myself sick I was getting it out of my stomach before the cramps and diarrhoea started and at least I was controlling it. That way I was controlling getting the food out of my stomach and I wasn’t going to randomly start getting cramps when I was with my friends. I know it’s a bad habit and I only started it a couple of days ago and I only did it a couple of times, I was just so worried about the IBS after eating and I just wanted to get the food out me before the symptoms kicked in.

didnt mean to put such a long post ah, just not really sure what to do and wondered if anyone had any advice on how to get over the fear of eating? Obviously I know I have to eat normally again and I don’t want to end up accidentally making myself unwell from it, but I think I’m just so scared about the IBS and not eating has become a bit of a habit now- it was only meant to be temporary but I feel like I’ve gone off food completely and I don’t even feel like eating my favourite foods. I don’t have an eating disorder or anything like that and I’m happy with my weight so I don’t care about losing or gaining weight, I just started this because I wanted the IBS to stop and now it’s become a bit of a habit.

I am still eating a little bit so I’m not unwell from it and I feel fine, but I feel so miserable and scared of eating full regular meals and normal portions again. if anyone has any tips or advice to get back to eating normally it would be really appreciated!! Thanks x

Have you tried figuring out what foods may make your ibs worse? My life has significantly improved since I discovered I can't tolerate dairy. Instead of not eating, how about trying a low FODMAP diet and introduce 1 type of food back at a time. If you learn your triggers it will make eating more manageable. By getting in the habit of skipping meals etc, it sounds like you're on a slippery slope to an eating disorder.

You need to keep a food diary and find out what foods are triggering it.

It can be very easily controlled if you find your triggers. Good luck.

I agree with what's been said. It's quite common until you've got more of an idea what the triggers are. So finding out your problem food is the first step. Don't be shy of telling people that you can't eat something, so you aren't forced into uncomfortable situations. Then just use positive reinforcement in your mind regarding the foods that you can eat. It'll take time, but you will get on top of this.

Definitely try FODMAPS - as long as I stay off garlic and onions which are often big problems for people and in almost every savoury processed food I'm completely fine. The other thing i'd really, really recommend is Kefir yoghurt is you're ok with dairy, if I have some of this every day then I find I can eat small amounts of onion/garlic without agonising pain and needing to go straight to the loo.

Probably best to a get gp’s advice. Not eating for days and/or throwing up can cause electrolyte issues.

This is a medical question. Go to the GP, tell them what is happening (all of it), and ask about ways to manage your IBS so you are not scared of eating.

Mumsnet isn't the right place for this question.

The fear of food is a sign of an eating disorder.
I would be very concerned, anorexia is insidious and often starts with a reasonable "excuse" to restrict food.
My dsd restricted what she ate due to reflux symptoms, we all thought it seemed sensible to control the symptoms... Until it was too late.
She has been through hell for three yrs.
Please go and get some help now.
BEAT the charity for eating disorders are good, as is FEAST.
they both run free helplines.
This is not normal and not OK.

Sorry you're suffering like this. I've had IBS and EDs since my life. Generally ED are about extreme control (fixation on weight is only a small part of it). You are already using extreme measures to control your fear of the IBS symptoms. The sooner you see a Dr about this the sooner you can prevent slipping into worse habits. GPs are so busy these days and people don't want to "bother" them but when you do go: ask for help - be really clear that for MH reasons you can't handle this yourself, that you need a structured intervention. Otherwise you'll likely get fobbed off with some benign sympathy, low key advice to stop if you can and be sent off to continue this bad habit. Other pp advice about FODMAP etc is also very valid.
Good luck.

Sorry I should have said, I’ve already done specific diets and kept a food diary to work out what was causing it- it definitely helped and I’ve got an idea of some things that definitely make it worse, but sometimes it still happens even with safe foods. That’s why I started the not eating thing in the first place because I wanted to completely stop the symptoms for a few days, and it actually worked, but now it’s so hard to go back to eating like normal. Obviously I know I have to and I have been eating some stuff over the last several days, but I really really hate it now and I felt so much better from not eating. That’s why I started the sick thing a couple of days ago because at least that way it was out of my stomach and I could control it. But I know obviously I can’t do it long term 🥴

really don’t want to bother my GP with it if I can because it’s not a big serious thing and they’re really busy at the moment, I just wanted to try and manage it myself if I could

thanks for the advice x

Making yourself sick and not eating are extremely serious but the illness will lie to you and tell you it's really not that bad and you don't deserve help - you absolutely do and better to do it now than before it gets any worse.

I probably made it sound worse than it is, I only made myself sick a couple of times and I have started eating again over the last several days so I’m not starved but I absolutely hate eating and I just feel like when I didn’t eat I felt so much better. Obviously I know I have to eat and I don’t want to make myself unwell by avoiding food but I really hate eating now! It’s not as serious or as big a problem as I’ve accidentally made it sound sorry but I just thought I’d post here and see if anyone has been in a similar situation or knew of what to try x

Meant to add to my reply above sorry, I only made myself sick so I could get the food out of me before the IBS kicked in because that way I could control and stop the symptoms, I didn’t do it to lose weight or for dieting or anything, I’m fine with my weight x

Oh I very much know what you mean. I've spent most of two years with an undiagnosed condition that causes vomiting, stomach pains, and diarrhoea. I avoid food a lot as it's the only way to avoid those symptoms.

I've been trying and trying to get help, before anyone says anything. I can't get any help from the NHS at all, apart from a few hospital admissions to stabilise me after particularly bad episodes, except no investigations are done and it's only to give me IV fluids and make sure that I'm not going to die imminently before I'm discharged.

I don't have any advice for you but wanted to say I understand completely.

Have you tried food replacements like Huel?

I agree with PPs that you are at risk of developing/are starting to develop an eating disorder.

It's absolutely worth seeing your GP, and using the FEAST and BEAT websites. They may prescribe fortisip or other meal replacements to help you stay nourished.

It's worth carrying on trying to pinpoint and manage the IBS symptoms.

You can end up with an eating disorder and it not be about your weight - it's just an atypical presentation.