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Original poster

To feel really stupid for sending this photo?

18 replies

cringeandbinge · 17/05/2022 23:09

My friend just lost her cat last week, this cat was like her child and she is devastated. She spoke about it for a couple of days and I would check in to see how she was feeling then we kind of just went back to normal conversations but I know she is still obviously really upset.

I have two cats and a new puppy. Tonight I got a pic of my DD holding the puppy and one cat up smelling her (it looked like they were kissing) and my other cat was sitting beside them. I sent in to a half a dozen people, didn't really think about it just forwarded it and one of those people was my friend that lost her cat.

I didn't really think about it again until just now when I noticed she'd seen it and hadn't replied. I'm now thinking was that so inappropriate of me to send her that picture? I think it was, almost as if I'm rubbing her face in it, look at my animals and yours has just died. I honestly sent it because I thought it was cute that the cat and puppy were actually starting to get along and it was the only picture I managed to get with the 4 of them (2 cats, puppy and DD).

But now I'm just so worried that it was completely thoughtless and inappropriate of me to send that to her. She always replies so the fact that she hasn't tells me something is up.

God how could I be so stupid? Should I send her a message apologising?

OP posts:
lisavanderpumpscloset · 17/05/2022 23:10

Just explain what you've said here. If she's a friend she'll understand

TheFoodtheFadandtheFugly · 17/05/2022 23:11

You screwed up and you need to apologise. In person, if you are seeing her soon, or ring her. It can be hard to get the tone right in a text.

MrsJBongiovi · 17/05/2022 23:12

Oh bless you. I’d feel exactly the same. Just send a message and apologise. Hopefully she will understand you weren’t being malicious x

wishitwasaduvetday · 17/05/2022 23:13

Send her a message just say "so sorry, that was thoughtless of me to send you that picture, I sent it a few people as it's a cute pic but I've just realised how insensitive I have been sending it to you. I hope you're ok xx "

SparkleOwl65 · 17/05/2022 23:13

Well, it is insensitive but equally it's not like you did it on purpose. I would send a text just saying what you said here and sorry, you didn't even think etc. That way you're owning your (small) mistake, showing empathy and being there for your friend. It's always hard when a loved pet passes away.

HailAdrian · 17/05/2022 23:13

It's really not as massive a deal as pp has made out, just send another message apologising for accidentally being insensitive.

ElenaSt · 17/05/2022 23:17

Whenever I've lost my beloved pet I felt comfort seeing other peoples pets so it doesn't necessarily mean that your friend will be upset or annoyed with you.

A follow up message or call asking after her and saying you thought afterwards that the photo you sent might have been insensitive but it was so lovely you just wanted to share it with your friends.

DeanStockwelllsBunny · 17/05/2022 23:18

wishitwasaduvetday · 17/05/2022 23:13

Send her a message just say "so sorry, that was thoughtless of me to send you that picture, I sent it a few people as it's a cute pic but I've just realised how insensitive I have been sending it to you. I hope you're ok xx "

This is perfect .

It's one of the things,, you can not retract it but the longer you leave the apology the harder it will be for her to accept imo.

Original poster
cringeandbinge · 17/05/2022 23:19

I have just sent the text apologising. It's all I can do and it was a genuine mistake. God so silly of me

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 17/05/2022 23:19

Goodness, stop flagellating yourself for a moment of mild thoughtlessness

I wouldn’t even apologise. Just carry on as usual.

Loginmystery · 17/05/2022 23:19

I think it would be kind to apologise. Say what you’ve said here. I lost my cat and it has felt unbearably painful. It would hurt to think a close friend would not understand but a follow up
apology is a nice thing to do. It shows you understand the depth of grief that losing your pet can bring.

Original poster
cringeandbinge · 17/05/2022 23:25

Okay sorry this was a non event. She just text saying sorry she's been dealing with family drama all night and will fill me in tomorrow but to please never apologise, she loves pictures of all pets and she is glad the pup is settling in and being accepted by the bosses. Panic over. I feel relieved.

OP posts:
wishitwasaduvetday · 17/05/2022 23:26

@AnyFucker yes it was a moment of mild thoughtless but it could have a serious impact on the friendship if not addressed. I can't believe you'd just leave it and not mention it knowing that you'd likely (however unintentionally) hurt a friend. That's pretty mean.

MarilynValentine · 17/05/2022 23:27

Love this. Two friends being caring and reasonable Smile

wishitwasaduvetday · 17/05/2022 23:27

Excellent outcome Op, she's clearly a good friend and she will appreciate your thoughtfulness

Memyselfandfood · 17/05/2022 23:30

wishitwasaduvetday · 17/05/2022 23:26

@AnyFucker yes it was a moment of mild thoughtless but it could have a serious impact on the friendship if not addressed. I can't believe you'd just leave it and not mention it knowing that you'd likely (however unintentionally) hurt a friend. That's pretty mean.

Agree. As if you wouldn’t apologise Hmm
i’d have been hurt if i’d have been sent it after my beloved one passed.

well done op.
yes, it’s also good the bosses are accepting the dog!

powershowerforanhour · 17/05/2022 23:30

"Love this. Two friends being caring and reasonable"

Awww yay! Never mind the cute animal pics it's sweet how you care for each other :-)

AnyFucker · 17/05/2022 23:34

Non event. Yep.

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