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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Why has nothing changed?

9 replies

Lostnconfused12 · 17/05/2022 21:03

I’m looking for opinions and advice on my situation please.

I left my stressful job a month ago to focus on family and myself. Thing is nothing has changed. I’m still stressed l, I’m still getting annoyed with my kids (7 and 3). I’m still feeling like a mess. Still eating loads. House is still a mess. I don’t understand why things haven’t changed, I always thought it was my job making me like this but now I’m wondering if it’s just my personality to always be miserable and fed up. I’m feeling really low.

The first few days I started really positive and had a plan, I went to gym in morning and did well but then started eating more and more and got depressed. I feel so low. Any tips/advice/insights please much appreciated as I don’t want to discuss this with anyone in RL.

OP posts:
Ducksinthebath · 17/05/2022 21:07

You’re burned out. It will take time to decompress. After a really stressful 18 months it took me about 12 months to recover.

Flopisfatteningbingforchristmas · 17/05/2022 21:11

I agree. It will take time.

You need to imagine you are child of - by gone era recovery from an illness. Lots of healthy food, don’t worry about weight loss for now just focus on nutrition, lots of fresh air, naps and early nights.

TruJay · 17/05/2022 21:16

Don’t be so hard on yourself, it’s been 4 weeks!
If you’ve felt down and fed up for a while, you won’t miraculously feel better in such a short time.
Try not to solve everything at once. Take it one thing at a time. Instead of trying to go full health kick, maybe just cut out something that you’re eating loads of - crisps or choc maybe or even just increase how much water you’re drinking.
Then maybe do the odd gym session or go for a swim.
Do little bits in the house but don’t try conquer the whole thing in a week, it will be difficult and make you feel bad if it isn’t perfect at the end of that week.
Or even just spend some time just being yourself, do some things you enjoy, do some fun stuff with the kids.

Would you consider talking to your gp? When I was depressed I had no choice but to take medication to get back on an even keel, the difference was dramatic. I got off the medication eventually but needed to go back on it at another point also and then got off it again. it doesn’t have to be a permanent thing.

I also (when not on medication) started to take a multivitamin and it did exactly what the anti-depressant did x 1 million which actually made me think I was just dramatically low on a few things that made me feel like crap! It took a few weeks to build up but I felt reborn after taking it for a while.

herecomesyour19thnervousbreakdown · 17/05/2022 21:39

Flopisfatteningbingforchristmas · 17/05/2022 21:11

I agree. It will take time.

You need to imagine you are child of - by gone era recovery from an illness. Lots of healthy food, don’t worry about weight loss for now just focus on nutrition, lots of fresh air, naps and early nights.

This is such wise advice. I need to take it for myself

Original poster
Lostnconfused12 · 17/05/2022 21:48

Thank you all for taking the time to respond to me. I decided last week to do a few days of temping work so I will be out of the house tomorrow. I still need to earn but I think leaving my job and doing this will be amazing. I have been worried about money for past 4 weeks too so going to work tomorrow will be a relief.

OP posts:
ChickensandCows · 17/05/2022 21:48

Please speak to your GP you don't need to feel this way.

PlntLady · 17/05/2022 21:58

Have you tried speaking to your GP? It does sound like burnout as pp's have mentioned... however it also sounds like it could be depression. Many ppl believe depression is an excessive 'sad' type feeling but not always. There are many other symptoms such as fatigue, being extra 'snappy', not keeping the home or yourself to your usual standard/ a standard you are happy with and even a general lack of interest in what you would usually be interested in.
Either way, sounds like you need some self care.

Colourfulrainbows · 17/05/2022 22:58

Have you thought maybe you put too much pressure on your self?
That if you just did abc everything would be OK way of thinking? ( most of us are guilty of this).
There is nothing wrong with certain things being left a while whilst you step back and take hold of what it is you really want/need.

It could be change in career. Could be to stay at home. Could be a hobby. Could be as simple as reading a book for a hour.

But the onus is it has to be something for you that's yours.

From your post said that left stressful job thinking be better. Now kids sometimes stress you. Here both the onus is on to provide. Care look after.

Maybe you just need some downtime to stop reflect and figure out what it is that's right for you.

And that in life is sometimes the best thing to do.

Ease up putting pressure on your self for a while.

Take care x

Original poster
Lostnconfused12 · 18/05/2022 06:09

Thank you for all the advice everyone. Yes maybe I am putting too much pressure on myself.

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