To think I've screwed my career by getting pregnant now.

[Nameychangey2022]

It's early days (5 weeks) but I found out literally a week after I handed in my notice that I'm pregnant. Excited but also panicking due to the terrible timing. Second baby, first is 5 years old so in reception., I'm 38 now so getting on a bit so it was a surprise. I don't start my new job until the end of August due to long notice period and holiday. By this time I will be 19 weeks pregnant and it's probably going to be obvious! This job was supposed to be a step up for me, my DH works but I am the 'main breadwinner' and he just started a new job a few weeks ago so won't qualify for paternity leave either. How on earth and when on earth am I going to tell the new job? I'm due January so will have been there only 4 months (if all goes to plan!) by the time I need to go on maternity leave. My probation is 6 months! I won't qualify for any statutory maternity leave either as won't have been there long enough , I should hopefully qualify for maternity allowance at least. It was totally different last time as I'd been in my job a long time and they had a great maternity package so we didn't struggle and I was back within 7 months. Have I screwed up my career by getting pregnant now, surely they will just terminate my contract on probation for some reason other than the pregnancy?! And if I do carry on after I will have two kids and be shattered and less functional in what will be a stressful job. Anyone else had this happen and made it work? What can I do now? 😭

I got pregnant with DC2 2 months into a Big New Job (nearly double what DH earns), not there long enough for enhanced mat pay so SMP only so I get how you're feeling. It was a much wanted baby yet timing for work was not ideal.

For the early part of my pregnancy I focussed on what I'd be bothered about 10/20 years from now - and for me it wasn't this job (despite how career focussed I am).

Since telling work they have been very supportive and I had a very frank conversation with my manager about my concerns over my credibility in the new company. He basically shut me down, told me it was wonderful then refocused the conversation on what I could achieve in the next 3 months and what I might like to do on return.

It's taken a while but I am honestly now thrilled that I'm pregnant and can't wait to meet DC2 in August. DH will probably have a bit longer off than he did with DC1 meaning a slightly shorter mat leave for me (probably 8 or 9 months) but I'm ok with that.

On a more practical note, are you able to shorten your notice period and start your new job sooner so that you've been there longer before mat leave?

The company may be completely reasonable about it.
We had a new starter who announced she was pregnant almost immediately. They’re not getting rid of her, she’s doing a great job and I’m sure she’ll continue to once she’s back from ML.
I know it’s hard not to stress about the ‘what ifs’ but it could be absolutely fine.

@larrythelizard thanks for your post, what an amazing boss, maybe there is still hope! Good luck to you for the birth. Unfortunately I cannot take any less notice because it is 3 month notice period and they want me to work it all. Still waiting to hear if any additional leave I can use but as it's proratered and reset in April it won't be much if any as I already took a week off at Easter and I have two weeks holiday booked abroad in early August which is already paid for and can't easily/don't want to cancel as we haven't had a holiday for a while due to Covid. Not sure there is much I can do to soften the blow on the new employer other than come back as early as possible from maternity leave...but I did 7 weeks with my first and regretted it a bit because I had to stop breast feeding to go back (tried to carry on an express at work but it was a nightmare and my milk dried up). Part of me thinks I should stop worrying and what will be will be but I do worry about money and how we will survive. I do have a professional qualification so I hope if they do ditch me I can go on to find another employer but it is a small world.

Thanks @jammyrose for giving me hope. Do you know how far along your colleague was when she told them? I'm thinking I should say anything on the notice period as they could easily rescind their offer at this point. My 12 weeks will come whilst on notice. But telling my new employer on my first day doesn't seem to great either (although it may be obvious by then!). I don't think there is a card for 'sorry I'm pregnant and just joined but will be off soon' 😬

Just have to wait and see how the new employer reacts but yes career opportunity wise it will slow progress and financially not likely being eligible for any enhanced maternity etc it's not the best

Anyone else have any advice or been through this? Should I tell my employer before I start? Or is this a road to disaster?

I wouldn't tell your employer before you start, I would wear floaty clothes and focus on making a good impression first.

What's the latest you can go on maternity? I worked up to 39, 37 and 36 weeks with mine. Just make sure you prove your worth in the time that you are there and they won't regret their decision.

Bit of a different angle, I had to have a termination for medical reasons at 15 weeks, so no, don’t tell your new employer until you’re further along. Personally I’d now wait until after the 20 week anonomly scan.

It will be be fine!

No one can say how a company will or will not behave, but, as annoying as it might be to them, they will stick by the law. They obviously rate you as a,member of staff or they wouldn't have employed you. A member of staff joined out team and announced they were pregnant. Not going to lie, we were a bit bummed out. But 20 years later, two children in, she's still there and is head of dept. The most fantastic worker, loveliest person and I couldn't imagine the place without her.
Don't worry. Just enjoy your new baby. There's plenty of opportunity to show them how brill you are before you leave but most particularly, when you get back.

Get your contract, start and then tell them. This is a work inconvenience to them but it's your financial security and family happiness.

Unpopular but practical option could be to try to negotiate to stay with your current employer? Ie postpone your career enhancing move for a couple of years by agreeing to stay one for a year after mat leave for example. They may not go for it but could be worth a try.

It depends what the new company is like, at least you’ll find out early how much they give a shit about their team.

Many workplaces, especially larger ones are super family friendly, I was promoted on maternity leave with DD1, 2 months into my leave and they held the role until I came back at 13 months for example, and I had only been there just over a year when going on mat leave.

Don't tell them beforehand, as pp have said. Prove yourself for a few weeks and then tell them. They will probably be annoyed but the law is on your side and you will know what kind of employer they are depending on how they treat you going forward.

I was in the exact same scenario as you 5 years ago, our dates (January baby, September start to new job) are even similar. I took 9 months mat leave and was totally ready to come back by that point (3rd child!) They missed me (so I hear!) but they also coped ok and I've been proving myself ever since. Even got promoted shortly after my return after mat leave.

I got pregnant 4 months into a new job. It was in local council. I got 6weeks full pay and 9m statutory. I'd tell them after you scan so they are prepared before you start.

Thanks all for your posts and advice, very much appreciated. Feeling a bit more positive now, it's up to me to make it work so I will just have to be my best self for those four months I am there, whatever is going on pregnancy wise! I don't think I'm going to tell them after the 20 weeks scan in case they rescind. But I think I'll put a proper plan on paper so that I can say in my first week yes I am pregnant but here is my plan for what I want to do, keeping in touch days etc. Fingers crossed for me!

Good luck and congratulations on your pregnancy!

Thanks so much TunaSalad!