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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why is my DH offended when I don’t like a movie?

46 replies

Womeninblack · 17/05/2022 10:36

so it’s not even a movie he picked for us. Could be anything we both chose to watch or even a movie I suggested. During or after the film if I say “oh, that was a bit shit wasn’t it?” He gets all defensive and upset.
So, aibu to think my DH should learn to accept the fact that sometimes I will notice and point out plot holes?
But the real reason for my posting this is to ask if anybody else get offended when someone doesn’t like something they had absolutely nothing to do with?

OP posts:
Tamzo85 · 17/05/2022 11:49

@briancormorant

They sound insufferable.

thecurtainsofdestiny · 17/05/2022 11:51

I have a family member (not my husband thankfully) who finds it hard to tolerate difference.

So will say things like, "Nobody could dislike that, could they!" . Well yes, they could!

I am not sure why they are like this- maybe feel undermined in some way if people don't agree with them all the time.

Sweetpeasaremadeforbees · 17/05/2022 11:53

I'm not sure that DH and I ever discuss films after we've watched them unless we'd been to the cinema. But it does annoy me when he says stuff like 'oh that could never happen, oh they'd never use that type of gun'. Duh, it's fictional, if you can't suspend your disbelief maybe stick to watching documentaries.

whynotwhatknot · 17/05/2022 23:37

we cant all like the same thing are you supposed to lie

NeverDropYourMooncup · 18/05/2022 00:00

Maybe he enjoys the suspension of disbelief and your blunt 'well, that was shit, wasn't it?' when he thought he was enjoying time with you in that make believe world brings him back to the reality that you didn't enjoy the time together and were bored/irritated/don't have much in common with him.

I hated it when watching something I enjoyed to be told either during or afterwards that what I liked was always shit.

WarnerSisters · 18/05/2022 01:11

I’ve had this, being like your DH. I’ve learned to not see my partner’s feedback as judgment on me and my taste, and he’s learned to say, “I didn’t like that film but I really enjoyed our evening.”

Featuredcreature · 18/05/2022 01:40

I think now people are in their little groove and comfort zone, it's less common to just watch TV, whatever is on together. I think this makes people less tolerant. I remember being round my sisters and forced to watch strictly come dancing or the bill for example. To me these seemed to go on for days, but I didn't bitch all the way through.

My last proper boyfriend, I would ask what he wanted to watch, if he was at mine, I could veto, we would compromise . When we were at his I just watched whatever he put on, often of zero interest to me, star trek featured quite a bit. I didn't shit on his tastes, but didn't pretend to like them.

My first long term partner would really never ask my opinion on anything, wouldn't watch anything I wanted to, would even switch music if I was listening to mine. I watched stuff when he was at work. Even when we split he would always comment what I was watching when picking the kids up. I was less than polite.

As long as its give and take its fine, if you are always wrong about everything, have a bit of think. If he is just being contrary because you can't possibly be right about something, or you are insulting his dearly loved franchise.

Sunnytwobridges · 18/05/2022 01:47

ChickensandCows · 17/05/2022 10:40

I can be a bit like this. Its almost like you're negatively talking about time you've had together. I think that's what hurts even though that's ridiculous. It's something I'm working on!

So much this. I am the same and I try now to separate someone’s opinion about the movie/experience has nothing to do with how they felt about the time spent together.

Aquamarine1029 · 18/05/2022 01:49

Is your husband my mother? She has literally never gotten over the fact that I think Mama Mia is total shit. My dislike of the movie is somehow a personal attack on her. 🙄

Jjnbftgkhfrvjudv · 18/05/2022 02:03

I mean would it hurt to just not say that if you know it annoys him. Wether he’s being unreasonable or not, is it really worth the upset?

DrBrennerFan · 18/05/2022 02:04

Mines dreadful for this sulks if I don’t want to watch something he wants to watch that I’m not interested in, (miles Davis film Joker) I hated both I just ignore now, nagged until I watched sins with him I wasn’t interested but he just kept going on about it, I end up watching to shut him up . I won’t do it now.

BadNomad · 18/05/2022 04:50

I think it's because to them if they like something, but you don't you like it, it means there is something about their personality that you don't like. Hence, being personally offended. And if you watch it together, it means you didn't enjoy spending that time with them. I usually try to find something nice to say first until I know what DP thinks of it.

PurrBox · 18/05/2022 05:12

If people don't like something you like, it can feel a bit like they think you are stupid for liking it. That can sting.

If I don't watch myself, I can catch myself thinking: 'My God, that was a dumb, cheap, cliche of a movie- how on earth could you be drawn into that idiocy?'

Disagreeing with someone's opinions can feel like an attack on their judgement or their intelligence. I enjoy discussing differences of opinion and don't feel threatened by it, but lots of people just prefer what to me seems like bland acceptance of everything.

My husband only has strong feelings about the very few things he cares a lot about- with most things, he just seems not to care enough to engage his critical eye.

Joessaysthankyou · 18/05/2022 05:39

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Fraaahnces · 18/05/2022 05:45

I think some men are affronted by any disagreement of opinion. They see convincing you to change your mind as a “win” and feel the need to try every time.

EatSleepReplete · 18/05/2022 05:57

DH & I have massively different taste in films & TV. So generally one of us will choose a few films we fancy watching, & the other one selects which one to watch. Next time we switch over. He watches his scary gory horror films on his own, & I watch my lovely period drama etc on my own.

Ferngreen · 18/05/2022 05:58

Films I enjoy are in the minority. You must watch a lot of gruesome/ violent crap. ( I just read a book or look at laptop - DH doesn't mind)

OddsandSods · 18/05/2022 06:06

Is he Dawson from Dawson’s Creek?

sandgrown · 18/05/2022 06:20

I am not a great film/tv watcher and could always find other things to do. My ex wanted me to sit with him to watch any old shit . He got annoyed if I went on my laptop rather than watch a programme about internal combustion engines! He used to tell me which films I would like and was irritated if I would not watch them but I know what I like . I thought it was a control thing .

Eatingpizza · 18/05/2022 06:30

This reminds me of watching tv with my mum. She's forever picking holes, then asks what's going on because she's been talking (argghhh!).

I find it hard listening to someone complaining about something i am enjoying.

pictish · 18/05/2022 20:31

Aquamarine1029 · 18/05/2022 01:49

Is your husband my mother? She has literally never gotten over the fact that I think Mama Mia is total shit. My dislike of the movie is somehow a personal attack on her. 🙄

As a huge ABBA fan I’ve never sat through Mama Mia because I’ve seen clips and already know it’s total shit. Yanbu.

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