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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my boss has absolutely zero people skills

14 replies

SabbyD · 16/05/2022 13:27

I’m off work sick today (1st episode of sickness in 6 years).

I had a really important meeting this morning which I needed to attend so I attended remote from home.

15 mins into the meeting, manager joins (no invite no reason for her to be there). Without a hello or anything else she interrupted the meeting and said “fgs Sabby if you are sick you shouldn’t be in a meeting, I can deal with this now log off”. No hello, no goodbye, said with a really snappy attitude. After she said it and before I could even reply she said “hi guys (huge smile) now let’s go on with this shall we”, completely ignoring what she had just said and then got on with the meeting.

Everyone else in silence, I logged off. Colleague from another department messaged me afterwards and said what the hell, is she always that rude?! The truth is that yes she is - but really what can you do. AIBU?

OP posts:
IsDaveThere · 16/05/2022 13:35

She was rude and went about it in completely the wrong way but she wasn't wrong, if you are sick then you shouldn't be logging in to meetings.

EmilyBolton · 16/05/2022 13:52

She was doing the absolutes right thing…it leaves the company wide open to insurance issues or grievance procedures.
if you are off sick you are not working. At all. End of
however, it clearly came out rudely and snappy. I am assuming that as she didn’t have invite she stepped in assuming you’d not be daft enough to attend, it is likely she was frustrated at dropping whatever she was planning to step into the meeting to cover you, and because you rock up playing the hero “I’m indispensable” piece…I’d be pretty irritated if one of my reports did that. And hadn’t bothered to let me know ahead that they’d still be attending so at least I could have risk assessed it as a proposal. Ok, not ideal she was rude and short with you…so .maybe have a quiet word with her when you are better to ask her why she was “irritated” AT you and how you felt and ask her if there is a way YOU could have managed it better? I know she shouldn’t have let frustrations show but enlisting her to help you solve it as your problem (eg you show some humility)and it will make it easier for her to show some humility too and acknowledge she could have said the same thing a little more kindly.
now stop working, Go to bed or rest watching some junk. Get better and then go back in and have a quite chat .

museumum · 16/05/2022 13:55

I'm sorry but you phoned in sick, your boss found the link/invite and prepared to step in and cover for you and lo and behold you were there running the meeting! Did you speak to her and confirm you'd run the meeting when you called in sick? If not I can fully understand why she's pissed off.
One of the MOST annoying things that colleagues can do imo is be absent (on holiday or sick) but then jump in and try to be present too.

Iamnotamermaid · 16/05/2022 13:55

Her communication skills could do with some work but she is right that if you are on 'sick leave' you should not be logging on & attending meetings. **This is different from working from home.

nearlyspringyay · 16/05/2022 14:02

If you are sick, you're sick, don't call in!

10HailMarys · 16/05/2022 14:28

She's right that you shouldn't be attending meetings online if you're off sick.

However, absolutely no excuse for the way she dealt with it, especially if she's always as rude as this. It's embarrassing for everyone present - you, first and foremost, but also the other people in the meeting who probably felt really awkward.

DefiniteTortoise · 16/05/2022 14:29

museumum · 16/05/2022 13:55

I'm sorry but you phoned in sick, your boss found the link/invite and prepared to step in and cover for you and lo and behold you were there running the meeting! Did you speak to her and confirm you'd run the meeting when you called in sick? If not I can fully understand why she's pissed off.
One of the MOST annoying things that colleagues can do imo is be absent (on holiday or sick) but then jump in and try to be present too.

I agree with the above, I'm afraid. She was ready to deal with it but then you showed up anyway, which probably did cause annoyance.

I hope you feel better soon.

balalake · 16/05/2022 14:33

You should not be attending a meeting if off sick, indeed when reporting sick (phone call best in my opinion), should have said what you would miss.

I agree though your manager seems to lack people skills, or the good manners to be on time. Not alone, too many people are promoted who have no clue or aptitude in people management, even if technically knowledgable.

namechange30455 · 16/05/2022 14:33

Did you bother to communicate to your manager that you were still planning to attend the meeting? If not why on earth not?

I'd be pretty irritated as your manager tbh.

1전복q · 16/05/2022 14:36

You shouldn't have been in it if off sick (did you tell her you would be going to that meeting remotely?) so she was right but went about it in a crap way, she should have messaged you privately or been politee on the call.

DrManhattan · 16/05/2022 14:38

Not sure why you would join the meeting?

Bunce1 · 16/05/2022 14:55

You were in the wrong.

Your sick. No meeting.

Aquamarine1029 · 16/05/2022 15:01

Sorry, op, but you joining the meeting was totally inappropriate and just really bizarre, frankly. You had called in sick, that means you will not be working.

Perhaps you display a level of self-importance that rubs her the wrong way.

Chica10 · 16/05/2022 15:14

museumum · 16/05/2022 13:55

I'm sorry but you phoned in sick, your boss found the link/invite and prepared to step in and cover for you and lo and behold you were there running the meeting! Did you speak to her and confirm you'd run the meeting when you called in sick? If not I can fully understand why she's pissed off.
One of the MOST annoying things that colleagues can do imo is be absent (on holiday or sick) but then jump in and try to be present too.

Yes, you are right but she could have been more polite about it and not admonish OP like a naughty child. She’s her boss not her mum - she sounds like she definitely needs to work on her people skills

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