has anyone else found that GCSEs going ahead has made them sad for all their teenagers have missed

[notonepotism]

I should preface this by saying I don't begrudge the current year 11s having a normal experience at all and am thrilled life is back to normal now. However, my DD is now in year 12 and doing her A levels and when I think back to how utterly shit her year 11 was with no prom, exams cancelled, in and out with isolation, the bubble system, ect it makes me so upset all they have missed. In general for everyone but especcily for teenagers it makes me so upset the parties, fun, jobs, learning, relationships, friendships and everything else they will have missed out on. I have seen a few friends who have DC in year 11 and talking about their exams and it has just upset me a bit. I know we can't change the past and the restrictions helped us controll the virus but seeing the ammount DD and many other teenagers and young people have missed out on has made me so sad. Not really an AIBU but posting to ask if anyone else feels like this?

Yes I do, for all the reasons you describe.

my DD should have taken her gcse’s summer 2020. She has done well at college and has her place on a degree for september (conditional to results). At the time I felt sad for her missing out on the last few months of yr 11 with her friends and her prom
dress is still unworn in the back of her wardrobe, but I’m happy with how she is doing both in her college work and in herself. I have much bigger concern for the children on whom it had a really negative effect on her mental health, missing out on prom seems trivial by comparison, disappointing but not life changing.

that should say their mental health (not her). just to add that you have my sympathy, because just because my own DD is for the most part ok, it has affected everyone differently

Yes. I felt really sorry for teens/young adults in the pandemic, as they are the age group who really need to be socialising outside the home.

I also felt really sorry for people who live alone, people with preschool kids, people with businesses affected by COVID, etc.

Hopefully your DD will be able to make up for the things you described during her sixth form years and also her young adult years (whether she goes to Uni or not). I think it's absolutely fair enough to be sad as long as you don't let it take over - she hopefully has plenty of fun years of youth ahead :)

Not gcses but reception year. Seeing new reception who got intro days, could see faces, not dropped at gate, their parties but especially nativity which we got a video and i didnt even know which one was my child!
Because some of these impacts have carried onwards. My eldest 9 only been to one party since covid. And so when went to a disco couldn't take the loud noise and i dont even know when it started.

Everyone had a shit time. I don't think it's particularly helpful to think it's worse for any one age group (or people group!) than another.

My child was 5 - he's now 8. Missed the most formative part of his education (school Head actually said last week that apparently research shows that current Year 3 children were the most affected academically) But there's no point dwelling on it. My other children were equally affected, as were we when we lost our business and our income.

She's part of history. Rather that than having been in WW2 and avoiding overhead bombs I always say to my two!

Presumably she has some sort of prom to look forward to at the end of A levels? Focus on the positives.

Yep I do as well. DS missed out on his A-levels, had his apprenticeship cancelled and had both his 18th and 19th birthdays in lockdown. I was really worried for his mental health at one point, we had already had CAMHS intervention in secondary school when DS was self harming and almost suicidal.

I feel so sorry for all the children and teenagers who have missed out on so much over the last couple of years.

@CoastalWave it's ok to feel sad about something sad.

I'm not talking about academics either but experiences. My teens/early adults missed things they'll never get back. If you were year 13 in 2020 your schooling just ended one day with none of the associated rituals which had been expected and looked forward to.

GCSEs going ahead have made me very happy, delighted infact not sad. It’s an unusual occurrence that affected everyone. What’s the point in dwelling on what they missed? Better to look forward to what they have in future.
There will be many parties, there will be jobs, learning, friendships & relationships, loads of them to look forward. You talk as if life itself has come to an end.
Be thankful Youre not in the list of unfortunate people who were infected with the first strain of COVID, who were in ITU fighting for their lives before anyone knew what they were doing.

It’s been a real shit time for many but I do think we need to look forward now and not think too much about who missed what etc.

DS1:should have been doing A levels last year and DS2 his GCSE's. They sat in their bedrooms for weeks on end, learning online and revising for exams that never really came.
It all worked out ok but it was a sad and stressful time. I'll never forget Ds2 getting into the car after school and a friend telling him to enjoy another two weeks self isolation because he'd supposedly sat within two meters of a positive case in class. Utterly cruel.

I have a DC in year 11, and whilst I'm glad exams are going ahead, they are also the first year group that are being actually examined after missing a huge chunk of school.
I feel for them all; the years that missed their exams and proms. I feel for the ones who had just started secondary school when lockdown happened. I feel for the little ones who had just started reception.
It's been rubbish and disruptive for everyone.

My ds is taking GCSEs now despite chaotic teaching.

one subject, the teacher missed 50% of Y11 lessons. It’s really not fair to those kids.

ditto for another subject. He’s done a lot of YouTube videos to try to sort that one.

other subjects, the teacher had attended 100% and sent lockdown work.

overall very unfair, hit and miss.

my friend’s Y11 child is self harming over this.

please don’t be jealous of the current Y11/sad for your Y12 child.

No work experience, no study leave. The current year 11s haven't had a 'normal' GCSE experience. They're being given all of the pressure but none of the chances to be independent. I'm keeping my own year 11 off, making our own study leave rather than the constant tests that her teachers seem to think constitue revision.

i was a year 13 in 2020! and just got into sixth form one morning to be told it was all over after 7 years.. so weird and sad.

She's still not done a single science experiment in two years, no idea how that can be justified!

I feel incredibly sad for all of them. Kids who missed out on so much, didn't get the rite of passage of taking exams, no celebrations etc AND kids who (like the current Y11s) had the whole of their GCSE teaching during covid, many of whom have had a fairly scrappy education over those 2 years and are now sitting public exams. It's been a pile of shit for all of them. Sincerely hope that covid will now fuck off sufficiently so that no more kids have to go through this.

The pandemic has been so hard for absolutely everyone, but I think we need to walk a very fine line in telling our kids how sad we are for them and everything they have missed out on. Let's not make them into victims!

I work at a University and the number of students who go on and on about "the pandemic" and how hard it was for them and all they missed out on makes me wonder how much this specific position is reinforced by parents similar to what OP has said here. "Oh you've missed out on so much, oh it is so hard for you, oh it is such a shame (perhaps a little Oh it is hard for ME and your PARENT to miss out on these things)". It's been hard for all of us, most especially those who have lost their lives!

Perhaps the message we should be "you survived a pandemic! Great job putting your head down, now get out there and make up for lost time". Surely this is a good example to them that life does not always go to plan and it is how we respond to situations that makes us or breaks us. And for kids, parents lead this by example.

As a teacher, I think this gcse exam cohort has it really tough. The last normal school year they had was year 8! Yet very few adaptations for their grading and exams.

@FatCatSkinnyRat good point on perspectives.

I’ve put YABU but only because my dd in y11 is definitely not having a great time of it compared to my ds in y12! It’s all just crap.

You are not being unreasonable. It was been tough on every year group in a different way. My ds was in year 7 during the first lock down, now in year 9 and this is the first full year he has had in high school. He has missed out on trips, sports competitions, mixing with other year groups. It feels like this is his first real year of high school not his first.

Oh yes…. The people who lost businesses, who couldn’t work and weren’t supported by the government, the nhs staff working 12 hour shifts in PPE whilst a lot of people were furloughed enjoying the sun in their gardens, the people who’s relatives died and couldn’t attend their funerals, the people who died alone in hospitals…. But above all, I’m sad the teenagers missed out on doing exams and socialising.

You know it's possible to feel sorry for more than one group of people?

My DC is year 11 and as PP said, their last normal school year was yr8,. They were little then and now are almost adult. It is tough.

A PP said furloughed people were sunning themselves in the garden. a lot of furloughed people were worrying whether they would have a job to go back to. Living on 80%of minimum wage is not fun.