Bring my toddler to antenatal visits?

[londonmummy2022]

My hospital still publishes their covid guidelines: no children or partners permitted for antenatal visits. However, every time I’ve gone there have been both children and partners waiting. I try to book as many appointments when I have child care but it is hard for DH to take time off and we can’t afford to pay an extra nursery day so often. We have no local family.

My hospital has done away with other covid restrictions for visits (anything by phone is now in person). I have been booked for an appointment with no option to reschedule. Given the times (and they generally run 30-45 min late), I wouldn’t be able to collect DS from nursery before they shut even if I did pay an extra day. DH is working away that day and can’t cover.

AIBU to bring my child to a visit? (I of course wouldn’t bring an unwell child and DS is generally well behaved).

My hospital always said no children to appointments and there's always a couple there.
Not everyone has the childcare like you say.

I would say fine long as prepared with snacks and something to occupy.

I’d phone and try to reschedule (even though the option isn’t given).

I am similarly baffled when I see kids and partners at every appointment when it clearly says they aren’t allowed.

I have phoned and they are not able to reschedule, it’s a clinic that onky runs on certain days and that’s always when Dh is away.

Just bring them and explain the situation.All they can do is refuse to accommodate you and reschedule. I don't know what they expect you to do ?

Just bring them, plenty of people do. They aren’t going to encourage you to do it but I doubt very much they will refuse to see you.

I had to take my toddler to mine (pre covid, DDs are 9&10 now!). The main problem was that I was concentrating more on the toddler than the midwife. Scans were more problematic due to the chances of bad news... fortunately a neighbour took her for that, and another took her when I was in labour.

They are well aware that not everyone has childcare.

I think just be mindful of what you will do if there is bad news. I once took my 6 yr old to an antenatal checkup. She was asked if she wanted to hear the heartbeat but there wasn’t one. I then had to keep myself together whilst I sorted out someone to look after her and get me to the hospital.
If at all possible I would get someone else to have the toddler. If there is absolutely nobody then you have no choice but to take them.

I try to book as many appointments when I have child care but it is hard for DH to take time off and we can’t afford to pay an extra nursery day so often

From this I'm thinking that you work some days and those are the nursery days...I would go to antenatal appts on your working days. By law they have to give you time off for this.

OP said this clinic only runs on certain days, so I imagine this isn’t possible.

I tried to arrange all my appointments for days I had childcare but there was one occasion I just couldn’t, for similar reasons to you. I contacted the midwife and asked what the best thing to do was and she told me to bring my toddler to the appointment. So I did. With snacks and books and an iPad. It was fine. They do understand!

Thank you everyone, I will bring him and plan to keep him occupied. Yes, I do try to book everything for my working/nursery days. I am being classed as high risk so having more scans than usual, so we are paying extra nursery days those visits. It's just the extra visits on top of the midwife, consultant, and scan visits that I'm struggling with right now. Glad to hear there is some good understanding amongst staff for childcare needs.

At my last midwife appointment we were scheduling in the next one and I said I couldn't do some of the days she offered as my son would not be at nursery. She did say I was welcome to bring him along if I needed to. I'm not sure how well it would go, he is very young and wouldn't just sit there whilst I had a blood test etc. I could just see him trying to get in all the bins and grab at the curtain!

Thank you, I hope they’ll be understanding. Mine is a fairly chilled out lad, don’t reckon he’ll be rummaging through the bins (though I may come to regret saying that!)

I always took toddler to ante natal appointments DH was a workaholic and wouldn't take time off for such things (surprised he was away from work long enough for the conception 😂) although this was before covid days. There are times you just don't have childcare.

I had to take DD to a midwife appointment as childcare fell through at the last minute. It was fine, I took a sticker book with us and she just did that and was very interested in my blood test (and found me getting my anti-D in my bum hilarious ) Sometimes it just can't be helped.

I don’t take mine because I’m fortunate to have help, but I absolutely would if I didn’t have alternative options! What else are you supposed to do? I’m sure it’s fine!

I had to for mine. No choice!
DD was 2 and I left her in the buggy while I was having my scan.
She wiggled so much the buggy tipped backwards with her strapped in it.
I had to jump off the table and run to comfort her, lucky the scan person was understanding.

Thank you all for the reassurance. I do try to the follow the rules but can't find a way around this right now. Hoping they don't turn me away!