School have said i'm causing a disurbance?

[ROSEgarden]

my dd and all my mindees go tot he same school....my dd and older mindees get dropped off in morning, we go in through any of the three gates, but always use the first one as its closest to the traffic lights(we come off road into playground)...i drop off 3yr old mindee at nursery at 12.30pm, the first gate is locked, so we use the central gates(leading to fenced off drive, then into entrance to school) as this is the next closest(third gate is up road about 2-3 minutes more walk and round corner)..as i take mindee in, we pass(a well secured and fenced/gated off playground), my dd is usually in there if not on way in, then on way out...if she is, i give her a wave and sometimes she comes over and i lean over fence to give her a kiss, today it was freezing , even though there were 4-5 dinner ladies out with them, i had to button up her coat( tight buttons)...she'd ran off before i could say bye...teaching assistant from her class always gives me a wave as does one of the dinner nannies who lives near me and the other children (i know most in her class) might wave, nothing major, theyre all ahving too much fun and not interested in thier childminder at playtime....
tonight at home time, dd's teacher pulls me to one side to say she has been 'asked' to ask me not to come in those gates anymore as im causing a disturbance! and they are trying to teach them(the children) to be indipendant????FFS, if she means by fastening her coat..she couldnt, she tried and couldnt, so surely a bit of help from a dinner nanny wouldnt have gone amiss...if she meant by dd seeing me whilst she was at school?..i literally give her a wave, say hello and thats it..how come she doesnt need to be' indipendant' when theyre asking me to give up my days off to go into dd's class and read, or help out taking them on school excursions or school plays/parties etc??..does she not need to be indipendant then???....i jsut said fine and cut her short, but am bloody annoyed now!...i walk past and wave 99% off time, i dont offer to sell them sweets through the bars and im taking another child into that very school, ive not just popped in to spit on a hanky and wipe her face...plus when its raining, the extra few mins walk to next gate is a pain in the arse..esp when like today i have a baby in pushchair and 3yr old mindee trying too keep dry..........lets see what you lot think?

While I think the school are being OTT I also think you should send your DD to school in a coat that she can fasten herself - perhaps with a zip?

its a new coat, the buttoms will losen, but it was new on on monday and not very flexible yet.

No I don't think you are being unresonable, nor does it sound like you are causing a disturbance (unless you are walking up naked with balloons tied to your toes )
I do think the teacher is being a bit of a killjoy, I'd love to be able to walk past my DS school and give him a wave.....I don't because I'd probrably get collared by the teacher and told off for causing a disturbance..............

School OTT IMO ! It doesn't sound like a disturbance as they are not in lessons !

tbh, next time they asked me to help, I'd say "No, I won't be coming in to help any more, we agreed to help dd with her independence."

But then I'm petty and I hold grudges.

thankyou!
Teacher is a bit Stiff!, i do get one with her, but most parents think she is too cold and unnaproachable, me i dont give a dam about that, she teaches my daughter, so im entitled to an opinion...i wonder who 'asked' her to 'ask'?????

thing is i enjoy helping out, i dont go in to wet nurse dd, i often help with the other children not her, take monday for example..my first day off...get into school theyre taking dd's class to church ..would i like to join them ?, dd gives me that look(you had better come mummy!)..i come all the way home to turn puter etc off then head straight back there(leaving hosuework/washing hair till later), get there, no other apretn at all and as they leave i get teacher saying now x and x you hold mrs x hand(me!) and we'll all head back to school now!...i get back in, get them all tos it down and pretend their quiet mouses(teacher had dissapeared) so they were calm while teacher not there, when she arrives i ask if she needs help at playtime(they were just about to go out) and told NO!, we've got enough help thanks?????

Not allowed to talk to the children though our fence either, chick! We've been told, that it isn't encouraged because strangers might want to talk to them!

i can understand the stranger bit Mo, but ALL the children know me, i dont talk to any of the other or at most "Hi"...and im on my way..the whole fecking school know me FGS im there all the time..am now!..not at you, just winding myself up

Preparing to be flamed here, though this probably does not apply to you. We have a little girl in my sons class, her mum always enjoy coming to help in school on activities and excursions, she is always putting herself foreward to assist other parents at birthday parties when her dd is invited, it seems as although her dd is clingy, her mum is not exactly helping er dd "let go" by always being present. I am sure the school is grateful for all the mum does, but at the same time it has been noticed among the parents, and some start to be reluctant to invite her dd because they dont want mum hanging around fussing over her dd. Not saying that this is you though.

I just think its the safety aspect tbh. Everyone knows me too. I've either minded them or they've been one of my Rainbows or DD's friends. Trouble is you always get the kid that will talk to anybody and if they see one kid talking at the fence, they want to do it too. I understand why you're cross though, I was really when they stopped us. I feel for you.

How silly, I sometimes drop one of my DD off for her mainstream sessions and , like today, I WAVED TO HER TWIN SISTER WHO CAME RUNNNING over and threw her arms rounds me!

No one bats an eye lid (sorry about caps!)

Just trying to reason it: is it possible that your dd was upset having seen you go or anything like that?

Or are they trying to maintain a secure site - had problems with gates left unlocked or ppl wondering in?

Rosegarden, I don't like this "I've been asked to say ..." business. Whoever has a problem with you should talk to you and tell you exactly what the problem is. How can you be causing a disturbance if it's playtime?

I have every sympathy with your dd and her coat. I can remember not being able to do my own up when I was 5 and would have been glad of help from any one.

I often walk through the playground at our primary school at lunch time and I feel free to talk to my own, or indeed any child. Surely the staff at your school know who you are. Schools are supposed to be accessible to parents.

I'm with Elasticwoman. Ask the teacher to ask whoever "asked her to say" it to say it to you him/herself. Then ask him/her to explain the disturbance you are causing. Then shout at him/her (only kidding).

Bloody stupid, I realised the other day that our school actually uses my hard earned taxes to pay someone and count who arrives 30 seconds after someone else, I'm fuming really here we are thinking the extra money is actually going to buy something useful and ....Just like bloody NHS

I could understand them asking you not to do it in a way if you were popping in there at lunchtime just to see your dd but as you said you are on your way to drop anohter child off in the nursery at the same school so how exactly are you stifling her independance???

I have to go past the school to get to the local shops and oftn friends children shout and wave or run over for a chat I am not soliciting this they just do it and I think it would be a shame if me or them was ever told not to, would be pretty sad to walk passed them and not even be allowed to say hello.

hi all thanks for your replies, Heated, no dd is fine she runs over or waves then runs back off!

Elasticwoman and mrshighwater, i normally chat to the parent liason officer through the week, shes not there this week or at least not on wednesday when shes usually in but i will mention my unhappiness to her! ad ask in what way am i disturbing the children and who said it...i must say, i dont feel i can be as chatty to dd's teacher now, i was friednly before, but am annoyed at her take take attitude, i dont push myself on them or my dd whilst in school QuintessentialShadow, i offered when in nursery and they call on me when it suits!

and the best of it is..only on wednesday last week, there were three teenagers hanging around the school gates, opening them, one stupid mum opened the gate for them, fully aware they were a-too old and b- up to no good!, they were shouting and thie children swearing and one playground full of children had to move to otehr side to be away from them...they even GOT INTO dd's playground and were shouting stuff to them!...i asked dd's teacher the following day about this and she had no idea!..it was her class fgs!,a class of 4-5 yr olds being sworn and cussed at by three hooded, scarves masking faces type teenagers!..but oh no, the frumpy mum with the double buggy is the biggest risk here!

sorry ineedacleaner, i know!, i often go past on the days i dont have this aprticular child and see dd playing out, but i dont shout or try to attract her attention, just walk past main gates and go on my way..nice to see shes playing happy but wouldnt go in there unless i was dropping off!

oh and i dont 'just go past' to see dd..the park is a regular haunt by us and you have to walk past th school to get to it and all playgrounds are out front

I live near the school and if I go out at playtime one of the children will often call to DS and point out that I'm there. He couldn't care less and wouldn't come over because they've been told not to talk to people over the fence. It's the stranger danger thing. How are the dinner ladies supposed to know they're talking to someone they know? so they're not supposed to talk to anyone.

Now if I go out at that time, I walk the long way round the block so as not to go past the school and cause a disturbance.

the dinner ladies/teaching assistants that are always out at lunch time are mum's of children at school(two of them have their own children walking round with them all lunch time! and the dinner lady is a nieghbour, so in this instance, they do know me , its not a large school so the head and secretary knows me to talk too aswell

I'm a play leader (dinner lady, if you like) at an infant school, and we have to keep the children away from the gates for their own safety. If someone were to come to the gate and call a child over, the play leaders don't know whether that person is a parent, a friend, or someone trying to gain a child's trust for less than honorable purposes. I'm also a mum at the school, as are several of the other play leaders, but there are 270 children and with the best will in the world, we can't be expected to know every single parent. Our priority is the children's safety, and we have to keep them away from everyone because of the (very slim) chance that someone could be trying to harm them.

Another reason that we keep the children well away from the gates is that, if there are several children around the gates (as there tends to be, if someone waves or calls out), the teachers or play leaders simply cannot see past the children to see who is at the gate anyway. And as you say that all the children know you, maybe there's more chance that they will gather at the gates if they see you. We also can't see if someone has managed to get the gate open (however unlikely that is) if there are lots of children crowded around it.

Your school are probably being over-cautious, but given our own safety measures, I can understand where they are coming from. What I can't understand is the fact that none of the staff would help her do her coat up; I spend half of my time at work doing coats up! Although the teachers in Reception spend an awful lot of time teaching their children to do coats up when they should be doing other things ...

I'm sure they know you but they can't have one rule for you and another for those they don't know.

And the rules have to apply to everyone; if I have to keep children away from the gates, I can't make exceptions for one or two parents who come past at lunchtime.