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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Interviewing nannies

20 replies

MountainSun · 15/05/2022 20:31

When interviewing prospective nannies, would you have the children in the house or not? I’m not sure what to think on this and I’ve been told ‘no definitely not’ and ‘yes you have to, or it will look strange.’ My feeling is kids not there. But I’d be interested to hear the consensus! Thanks.

YABU - children present
YANBU - children not present

OP posts:
WeCouldBeSpearows · 15/05/2022 20:33

When I was interviewed as an au pair, the kids were there - in part to see how I and they got on.

I would have thought that's important?

Wowjustwow99 · 15/05/2022 20:41

As a nanny, the children have always been there when I've been interviewed.
The parents want to see how you interact with the children and handle different situations etc with then present

oblada · 15/05/2022 20:54

I've done it as a 2 step process. First a chat over zoom and then a face to face with the kids present.
I would do that again if i had to. It's a bloody important job and its best to take your time and get it right.
Employing my nanny was the best decision ive ever made i think and she's even more wonderful than i could ever have imagined. It's a hassle dealing with the employment side of things, but it's worth it.

FourOclock · 15/05/2022 21:10

Depends on age of kids. If little ones then yes an informal interview at home with playing etc is totally normal, they wouldn't know this person might be a future nanny etc, would just be someone coming to play.
Older kids, I would do a quick interview with parent(s) in a coffee shop to get a feel and then an at home one if they seem suitable, just to avoid the older, more aware, kids going through endless people deciding who they get on with.

Bonjovispjs · 15/05/2022 21:33

As a nanny, I'd expect the kids to be there at the interview, as a previous poster said it's a chance to interact with them and for us to observe you as a family, why wouldn't you have them there?
Incidentally, I hate interviews in cafes, an interview is a private thing between me and the family, I don't want anyone else listening to our conversation who isn't involved, puts me off the family immediately!

ShirleyPhallus · 15/05/2022 21:35

We had ours present to see how the nannies interacted - I loved to see some of them get on the floor with the toddler and play but still chat to us. When we got to the serious bit that needed a bit less distraction one of us took the child away and the other had a more focused convo

XrayFish · 15/05/2022 21:45

I would do two too. One interview without, then 2hours (paid) babysitting whe're I'm half present.

It seems unfair to judge interaction with children when you haven't told them what you're looking for. Also it's always going to make the nanny look bad, either she isn't paying attention to the questions because that attention is with the children, or she ignores the children to talk to you. And what happens if you know straight away i it won't work but the kids love her.

Tbh might just be m y kids that mean it wouldn't work.

Blogdog · 15/05/2022 21:48

Also did a two-step process here. First interview in the evening when the kids were in bed (suited the nanny too as she was working all day), then second one on a weekend afternoon where we could see them interact together.

nannynick · 15/05/2022 21:51

I prefer it when children are there. I tend to go for jobs where the children are babies/toddlers. My best interviews have been when I've been sitting on the floor with a toddler playing with toys, and baby sitting on me, joining in with their sibling.

NannyR · 15/05/2022 21:52

As a nanny, I've always done a first interview with just the parents, usually in the evening when the children are in bed. If the parents are interested in going ahead, they would usually arrange a second interview which is much more informal and would involve me meeting the children.

parietal · 15/05/2022 21:52

oblada · 15/05/2022 20:54

I've done it as a 2 step process. First a chat over zoom and then a face to face with the kids present.
I would do that again if i had to. It's a bloody important job and its best to take your time and get it right.
Employing my nanny was the best decision ive ever made i think and she's even more wonderful than i could ever have imagined. It's a hassle dealing with the employment side of things, but it's worth it.

Same here. Initial zoom with several different nannies. Then a play date interview with the one best nanny. I don't want the kids to have to meet lots of people if they don't need to.

VladmirsPoutine · 15/05/2022 21:57

The nanny needs to be there in my opinion. When my sister was interviewing nannies it was early afternoon and my nieces and nephews were all there just doing their own thing. It wasn't a 'forced' interaction but it made things make sense if you see what I mean. Because you have to gauge the nanny and she/he has to see what they'd be dealing with. The kids don't necessarily have to know or be forced into an unnatural interaction but think of it as though a friend was coming for a coffee and the kids are just there.

Snoken · 15/05/2022 22:19

It has to be looked at as a two-way street. I can’t imagine any nanny would accept a role if she has never even met the children. She will be spending a lot of time with them after all, and less with the parents.

WeCouldBeSpearows · 15/05/2022 22:57

The nanny needs to be there in my opinion

I don't think anyone is suggesting otherwise 😉

Apple42 · 15/05/2022 23:18

When I was childminding, I always wanted to meet the children as well , if parents arrived with out children to meet me and only wanted me to meet children when care was needed they were never offered a space as I felt they were trying to hid something…. Nightmare behaviour, children not listening or parents not correcting behaviour always a good indication on how well mine and parents relationship would likely go

SpaceJamtart · 15/05/2022 23:51

I think they need to be there,

I remember an interview as a teen for a babysitting job and the the child was over at their grandparents. All the questions were about if I thought I was good at talking to children, if I was good at playing games with kids, if I thought the child and I would get along well and if I thought he would like me.

The Mum could have seen all of that if the child was there, she just sort of took my word for it that I was good with kids and that I hoped we would get on well and hired me.

Womencanlift · 15/05/2022 23:57

WeCouldBeSpearows · 15/05/2022 22:57

The nanny needs to be there in my opinion

I don't think anyone is suggesting otherwise 😉

Apart from the OP….

LoveSpringDaffs · 16/05/2022 00:12

Womencanlift · 15/05/2022 23:57

Apart from the OP….

Show quote history

You haven't read it correctly 🤪

Womencanlift · 16/05/2022 00:16

LoveSpringDaffs · 16/05/2022 00:12

You haven't read it correctly 🤪

Show quote history

Oh gosh yeah. Doh! Will blame my insomnia state 😂

Original poster
MountainSun · 16/05/2022 05:38

Thanks for all the feedback!
Seems like it’s a mixed thing….but in favour of the kids being there. I just don’t want too much upheaval for them. They’re old enough to know what’s going on, and we've had two lovely nannies whom they were very attached to leave in the past two years (not due to us, we’re still good friends with them!), so there’s already a bit of upheaval there.

I think I will only interview 2-3 in person which should help. Hopefully the rest I can speak to via zoom.

I know that this is one of the most first world problems ever but finding a nanny is just so stressful, we got it wrong once before and it just makes the guilt so much worse, over retraining and going back to work when I’ve been a SAHM for so many years :(

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