DW (ok not yet but I always call her that) are getting married next year. Small but sweet ceremony and dinner with 18 guests - just what we wanted and we're really looking forward to it.
Growing up, mother was difficult and in my teens she was physically abusive. She had a boyfriend who didn't live with us but given my own father wasn't around I consider a stepdad and I'm really close to him. They broke up when I was 16 and it came out that my mother had cheated on him with about six different men over the 13 years they had been together. Pretty much immediately after the relationship ended, my mother moved in with her most recent AP. I moved out around the same time, lived with my DGM and then lived with my stepdad before moving out.
I don't like him. I never have - I grew up around him as a family friend and honestly, aside from the affair stuff, I have no respect for him. He's rude and shouty and enables my mum's drinking and drug taking. He can be sullen and stroppy and I don't think he's ever been nice to me.
My mother, DGM and DGF are absolutely furious that I'm inviting my stepfather and not inviting my mother's boyfriend. Apparently I have a 'duty' to invite him because he's my mother's partner - never mind the fact that I don't even want to invite my mother and am doing so because of pressure, which is accumulating in a dry wedding so that she doesn't turn into her angry, volatile drunk self. DP and I don't drink anyway but the point is we're already making allowances for a woman I have to invite, so why should I invite a man I have no connection to, has been horrible to me, and is generally a twat?
Basically, AIBU for not inviting my mother's AP, and inviting my stepdad instead to my small and intimate wedding?