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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU not getting a gift?

10 replies

coffeewithmilk · 15/05/2022 07:52

I was married 3 years ago and invited a couple to my wedding. They have a gift of £150 cash which I thought was extremely generous.
Due to covid and everything else that has happened in between we haven't really stayed in touch and they have become engaged and I recently found out from a friend they are getting married in September.
My husband and I haven't received an invitation.

AIBU to not get them any sort of wedding gift?
(To the same amount that they got us)

(Also just to add, it's not a small wedding they're having, a lot of people are going)

OP posts:
KangarooKenny · 15/05/2022 07:55

If you’re not invited to the wedding you don’t need to buy a gift.

lemongreentea · 15/05/2022 07:56

No invite = no gift.

SickAndTiredAgain · 15/05/2022 08:00

I wouldn't get a gift if not invited (and on the other side, wouldn't expect a gift from someone I hadnt invited).

MRex · 15/05/2022 08:02

Yeah, no invite then no gift, but I'd send them a nice card once they're actually married. With larger families the number of wedding invites can spiral and sounds like you'd drifted apart a bit recently, so understandable that you didn't quite make the list. It doesn't even mean you won't stay friends. We had a laugh with one friend recently about a special wedding anniversary that she hadn't invited any of the 4 of us sat round at drinks to the wedding even though we all worked together at the time, whereas the colleagues she had invited aren't in touch any more. Another friend then realised she hadn't invited any of us either, though in fairness I doubt we would have travelled for her wedding while young and poor. It's just a day that's special to families really.

Dinoteeth · 15/05/2022 08:05

I'd get them card and maybe a bottle of champagne or something but not a £150 worth.

I guess it also depends how keen you are to rekindle the friendship.

butternutbiscuits · 15/05/2022 08:49

you aren’t invited and doesn’t sound like your even friends anymore so no need to do anything

Lolllllllllllll · 15/05/2022 08:54

It sounds like they were kind to you when it was your wedding so how about sending a card and a small gift such as a plant or a bottle of wine. You don't have to but it would be a nice thing to do.

Chikapu · 15/05/2022 09:08

If they haven't invited you and you're not in touch why would they expect a present?

TalkingCat · 15/05/2022 09:40

Um, you only give a couple a gift when you're invited to the wedding. You're not, so what on earth are you going on about? You're not supposed to get them a gift.

Sweetener12 · 16/05/2022 10:10

You are not invited so no gift is expected.

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