My mum passed away suddenly over a month ago and at the time I dealt with it quite well. I'm an only child, so had to do everything myself from the medical stuff, liaising with coroner about autopsy and arranging funeral. I had a bit of a cry, but didn't break down. Friends rallied around at time, as did DH, but now it's back to BAU for everyone.
Fast forward to today and I've come down with the vomiting bug that's doing the rounds. This morning DH's mum had a fall and he was going to see her.
I was feeling so sick that I asked him to sort out breakfast for the DCs (7 and 9) before he left. Cue him going "FGS, my mum's had a fall and I need to go and see her". His DSis was with his DM so she wasn't on her own. I was thinking "Shit, my mum just DIED and I've not had a cry or expected you to be my emotional crutch."
I didn't say anything and he gave DCs their breakfast and left.
DH has been a moody bugger all evening, DCs have been playing up and the house is a tip. Just now, had a shower to try and make myself feel better. But I literally just stood in the shower and cried my eyes out. Normally, when I've been unwell, DM would ways call and see how I was. Okay, she did catastrophise things, but she'd be genuinely worried about me. Right now I feel so alone, like I have no one who actually gives a shit. In bed now and I'm crying as I type this.
Sorry for the long post. I'm 40 and I know I probably need to grow up, but I really miss my mum and her unconditional love. Am I being unreasonable? Do I need to grow up and get on with life?
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15 replies
RainbowsAndPuddings · 15/05/2022 00:08
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