To think this Is unfair

ChiselandBits · 14/05/2022 22:10

OK well your ex is grade a twat for a start. Let me guess. He cancels contact at the drop of a hat due to 'busy', 'work', 'poorly'. He's an absolute bell end. No advice on the virus other than usual self care. Is there a grandparent to have dd for a bit to give you a break? Hope you feel better.

Jurassicparkinajug · 15/05/2022 07:13

No one can tell you how long your virus will last, we don't even know what it is. Other than the usual drink plenty of water and eat healthily there isn't much you can do but ride it out unfortunately. Your ex is an arsehole, bet it would be different if he was the sick one. Isn't there anyone else who can help? I really feel for you OP, it sounds rough. Definitely ask others for help though.

girlmom21 · 15/05/2022 07:18

YANBU. Why does him being a father not mean he steps up when his child needs him? Knob.

spinachmonster · 15/05/2022 09:35

Oh my god!! I'd be fuming! On the plus side CONGRATULATIONS on getting out of a relationship with him.
I'd be saying something along the lines of- don't expect me to be flexible in future then.

Really hope you feel better soon. It's so tough caring for kids when you are I'll.

spinachmonster · 15/05/2022 10:58

Also hot lemon with honey and fresh ginger can help sometimes...

ilovesooty · 15/05/2022 11:00

No wonder he's an ex. Best wishes for your recovery.

PleasantFucker · 15/05/2022 11:05

He's is an arsehole! Never do him any favours and flip that same line back to him, whether it be months or years, I'd be waiting for the day I could say that back to him. Cheeky fucker.
Hope you feel better soon

PleasantFucker · 15/05/2022 11:05

He is!🥴

ChoiceMummy · 15/05/2022 11:22

Mimi1980 · 14/05/2022 21:51

Hi Guys don't really know if this is a rant or just feeling sorry for myself.
So I've had a viral infection since last week Friday which has really knocked me out but still looked after my kids as you do ... asked my sons dad if he could have son tonight as I feel I'm getting worse and he replied I'm a mother and should be able to care for him regardless of my situation.. After ending the call i broke down in tears AIBU to ask for his help also anyone got any remedies what to take for the viral and how long till you felt better.. Many thanks xx

He's not obligated to take his son for an additional occasion to assist you.

Is it unreasonable? I suppose that depends on how amenable and flexible you've acted towards him and his needs.

Ultimately, I do think that as parents we do have to just get on with being ill and it's what the majority of lone parents do.

If it's viral and you've had this since Friday, then by today you're hopefully feeling better than yesterday anyway.

Looneytune253 · 15/05/2022 11:40

@ChoiceMummy did you really type that? It's his kid too and I bet he wouldn't think twice about cancelling contact if he was unwell.

What human would deliberately not help out another struggling human. When you add that he would also be spending time with his kid it just about toppled him down the cliff of fatherness

ChoiceMummy · 15/05/2022 11:49

Looneytune253 · 15/05/2022 11:40

@ChoiceMummy did you really type that? It's his kid too and I bet he wouldn't think twice about cancelling contact if he was unwell.

What human would deliberately not help out another struggling human. When you add that he would also be spending time with his kid it just about toppled him down the cliff of fatherness

@Looneytune253
They're not a couple.
He doesn't owe her anything. That's the whole point of being separated.
Would staying with him have been better for his child? Possibly. But let's face it the op has a cold like issue, not the plague.

As I said, he'd be unreasonable if he's expected her to change arrangements for his contact time, but if he hasn't, then no it's not unreasonable to say put your big girl pants on and manage a cold/bug.

Original poster

Mimi1980 · 15/05/2022 17:51

Thank you ladies for your replies i guess it was my own fault for asking for help when i knew he would refuse

@choicemummy I've accommodated his needs more than enough as when his ill and can't make a visit but can go out with friends when his son was in hospital and he couldn't make it as he was busy at the gym ...
I grew up without a dad so I've tried my best to keep the peace for my sons sake

OP posts:

Hawkins001 · 15/05/2022 17:53

All the best and positivity op, as for your ex, omg,

LoveSpringDaffs · 15/05/2022 18:01

@@Mimi1980 I'm sorry your ex is such a monumental twat, but thank god he's a Ex!!

hopefully you've been able to give the kids an easy tea. If you haven't yet, cereal or toast won't kill them for one night!

then depending on how old they are, bribery all the way for getting ready & in to bed!

do you have a friend/classmates parent that can take them
in to school for you tomorrow?

if you have younger ones not in childcare is there anyone that would have them for the day??

I've happily had the kids for friends/family... obviously the Ex isn't much support, so build up your support network!

oh & if you work, call in sick tomorrow, sleep, drink lots of clear drinks (preferably water) and try to eat something healthy!!

take care!

@ChoiceMummy this is the third post of yours today where you've been unnecessarily nasty - what's up??

ChoiceMummy · 15/05/2022 18:10

Mimi1980 · 15/05/2022 17:51

Thank you ladies for your replies i guess it was my own fault for asking for help when i knew he would refuse

@choicemummy I've accommodated his needs more than enough as when his ill and can't make a visit but can go out with friends when his son was in hospital and he couldn't make it as he was busy at the gym ...
I grew up without a dad so I've tried my best to keep the peace for my sons sake

@Mimi1980 Then you know not to be so accommodating in the future. Though I imagine that just means he won't turn up regardless...