Husband and computer

[CoffeAndCakeAddict]

My husband works full time and in his free time likes to play Xbox and PC games. I’m not a gamer but always just excepted that’s his hobby. Whenever he’s wanted a new console I’ve helped him find the money to get one.

Every evening he sits on his gaming laptop with headphones in. Zero communication. No conversation. All I can hear is tap tap tap on his console (which is really bugging when your trying to watch TV)

Ive got in a strop and come up to bed. I never imagined married life sat in silence every evening.
He thinks iabu. Kids a bed and then he just goes on the computer.

If he doesn't actually want to spend time with you, then you may have a problem.

Have you told him how it makes you feel?

DH and i set aside a couple of specific evenings a week for personal hobbies and otherwise we normally hang out together (we game together in fact).

That must be miserable for you. Can't he compromise to one or two nights a week, ask him if he cares about your feelings at all because he doesn't seem like he does

Di you want the next 20 years to be the same? If not you need to talk to him, find a healthy balance that suits you both so that you relationship doesn’t fall apart

Unplug the router?

I'm not sure I could tolerate such a hobby tbh. Grown men playing computer games is a bit ick.

🙄 grown men playing computer games such an ick...
My husband is currently playing something with a lifelong friend who now lives in another country, on a computer he paid for himself. He does so once or twice a month, in the spare room, after bathing and putting DS to bed and checking there was nothing i wanted to do together this evening.
It's not the gaming that's a problem it's yet another man choosing his hobby over spending time with his wife/family, see also cycling, football, rugby, golf, F1 and so on. It's not the hobby it's the attitude and priorities of the person engaged in the hobby

My husband working as game designer. He made games. So he plays a lot. i dont think grown man playing game is a turn off because my husband have a really good job. I have to understand his gaming hobby aswell. he playing a lot but he does that every other night. So he always spend time with me at night when its nit his playtime. You should communicate more and talk to him.

As ever when it's a hobby issue the hobby is irrelevant the problem is with the person

He isn't making an effort to spend time with and communicate with you

Talk to him and tell him how you feel

Have you no hobbies of your own ?

Out of DH and I, I'm the gamer! I find it a lot more stimulating than sitting watching TV, I get too restless and bored so like that in gaming you are in control and make decisions etc. My DH loves watching TV, we couldn't have more different tastes. We both stop and intermittently interact with each other and have games we play together and TV series we watch together. I really love that we are enjoying each others company and pursing our interests too but also really value the time we dedicate to each other and I think without that there wouldn't really be a relationship beyond sharing a home. I think it's okay to do your own thing but important to give time to each other. I have a laptop and headphones so I can snuggle up to him and play while he watches TV. Occasionally he'll lean over and talk all the way through a cutscene or I'll disturb his TV series and ask what's going on. I think your differing hobbies aren't the problem here.

before kids me & my wife used to play 2 player games together - ask him to get one and join in !

Either he has a gaming addiction (Google it, it's very common) or doesn't enjoy your company, or a combination of both. The key thing is to just communicate to him how you are feeling and see what he says. Couples therapy is probably going to be your best bet.