Feeling really lonely. Been teary today.

[EurovisionTragic]

Maybe it is the weather as when I came on MN to write this thread, there is already another one saying they are lonely today. It must be the weather.

Today I was actually in tears and I just felt really lonely. Not sure if it is the weather, hormones or indeed my situation.

My DH is away from home travelling for work a hell of a lot. It was so bad before lockdown that I don't know if we would have made it to today if we didn't have that time together. Now the travel is back up again.

So, he has been away a week. Sunday - Sunday. He was at home last week, but the week before he was away Sat - following Sunday. He travels long haul so needs to be over the jet lag before Monday meetings. That said, if he goes somewhere new, he does sneak a few sightseeing days on the end of it.

When my DC were small, I was OK with it as I was really busy and I could take them here there and everywhere. Now they are older and have their own lives and so I spend a lot of time in the night and at the weekends on my own. So all last week, I just stayed in and watched telly. Tonight I am in on my own, watching Euro with a bottle of wine and no one to laugh at the entries with. I just feel sad.

I don't have many friends where I live as I have only been here 18 months. We have moved around with my DH's job quite a lot so my support network is basically non existent. In fact, MN is my support network! We

I hadnt spoke to a single female for months over lockdown
i joined a local community group and i was soooo nervous and anxious ( not like myself at all!) but im so glad i kept going. I got on the WhatsApp thread. Made plans to meet up etc. now i see a few of them every week or so.
and have a chat online , even.

Settling in a new place is really really hard. If you like running, why not join a running club - as you are into long distances they often do 'long runs' on weekends (that's when marathon trainers get their miles in) and there is usually an inevitable coffee/pub trip after. That would get you meeting likeminded people.

I was on a similar position where STBXH worked Mon - Fri away , home weekends. Didn't really want to do anything except be at home. It was OK as I was busy with kids , etc. He actually cheated but that is another story. So now alone in house , kids are grown . Very lonely time , hard to make friends as an adult. Also don't like to risk being rejected .I do have friends but they all have partners and family and you don't like to encroach. I used to be fine doing stuff on my own but have lost a lot of confidence. It would piss me off if my DH was admiring other women 's abilities. Maybe they have a much more supportive network .
No solution to offer but wanted you to know that you are not alone.

I know how you feel OP. I've spent the day feeling tired and anxious. Tomorrow is another day though.

I'm not surprised you feel low and lonely, it is a rotten feeling. I get it often too. Tbh your DH sounds less than supportive. Are you sure this is right for you? You don't need to be with someone who leaves you alone but complains and compares you unfavourably to other people. I am not being flippant, seriously, you soound like you could be happier without an undermining partner. Youre not alone though theres always support here.

I'm with you OP, feeling lonely watching Eurovision by myself . I've had an overwhelming feeling this week I have absolutely no one . No friends, no extended family to speak of.. no one

@Collinsro - have you tried any Meetup activities? I know it's not the same as having good friends (I have very few where I live). I might go to one in my area.

Are there any problems in the relationship which are emphasised when he is away? (If so then it is hard if there is some kind of resentment there).
If you have a lovely relationship and he is an involved father otherwise but it is just the loneliness with DC being older and him away for work then please try your best to find some solutions like making friends through some kind of classes, gym, pampering yourself, new recipes, phone call to an old friend etc. Maybe activities to do with older DC also. Try interact more with the outside world and get out more as it can help subconsciously almost. Springtime would always make my mum feel like this. She was okay afterwards but it is hard when DC get older and can be very lonely with no support network. My dad did have to say no to the working away though. It wasn’t for him he couldn’t be away from us. Maybe talk to DH about it and how he feels. Would he rather stay if he could but he has to do this?

@JustMeAndAria I came on this thread to say the exact same! We should have celebrated our birthdays together!! We're not unimportant, but it does bring disappointment when people you expect don't value you.